To Think of Elephants discussion

Sometimes, the things holding us back from achieving our dreams are our very own fears about them.

Discuss your fears here, and we'll help you through them.

I'll have to think about this one.

Jellyfish

Hm.. My greatest fear would be getting stuck back in a 9-5 job doing something that I'm not passionate about. I fear monotony.

I'm scared of being stabbed....ahhh I just cringed just thinking about it hahaha

Being locked in a windowless room with no way to call for help is high on my list. Once in France, I went into a street toilet and couldn't get out. It was made of thick plastic and it was so hot in there. To get out, the visitor had to punch in a code, and I did, but the door wouldn't open. I yelled and knocked on the door, but no one heard me. I had no cell phone or way to call out. Finally, I calmed down enough to carefully try the combination a few more times. At last, it worked. Scary!

Jeanne wrote: "Being locked in a windowless room with no way to call for help is high on my list. Once in France, I went into a street toilet and couldn't get out. It was made of thick plastic and it was so hot i..."

Gahhh that's so scary!

One word: spiders. *shudders*

Spiders are high on my list too, Kara. One time, we had company over, and I went into my room to get something. Unfortunately I was greeted by a spider on my curtains. I awkwardly asked my father to save me from the spider, as it was too high for me to reach, in front of the family that we'd invited over... which included a boy around my age. Impulsively, I turned to that boy, who was quite tall, and asked him to save me from the spider instead. I quickly rushed into my room, stuffed all my awkward articles of clothing into my closet and showed him the curtains.... Where the spider had disappeared. They promptly hung out in my room for the next 5 minutes, when suddenly, the boy's father found the spider. THANK GOODNESS.

My greatest fear is strange. I fear not ever achieving my dreams. I find my self getting teary eyed whenever I watch someone else on TV achieve their dreams (Which is why I stopped watching The Biggest Loser). The idea of not loosing my dream feels like your fear, Jeanne, being locked in a room, with no way out. Suffocating... *shudder*

Which is why I'm a certified nerd. :D

I'm scared of losing myself. I don't want to forget who I am and suffer the loss of my individuality.

Oh, and, uh, being unhealthy worries me too.

@Claire Ashleigh: That's the point! I LOVE BEING A NERD. We should have a running album of nerd pictures in this group...

@Cheyla: You can't loose yourself, if you know who you are. Everytime someone suggests something, ask yourself, is it what you want to do? But... Um... If your parents are the ones suggesting, it's a whole different ball game. Mother knows best. ;)

Fear...My greatest fear is probably that I will finish high school and be stuck here, never going out and away. I want to travel, and learn everything I can. I am scared, really, of finding out that this is what I am going to be doing forever.

probably pain

Mifalda,
You sound like me when I was in high school. I lived in a small town and I really wanted to go "out and away"! My parents didn't have money to send me to college, so I worked at being a good student and got a partial scholarship. I have learned and worked and traveled a lot, and I never moved back to the small town.

@Jeanne, your story is pretty much every student's dream. Congrats on your success!

We all want more... but when is it enough?

Thank you, Klymene. My success is nothing flashy, but it is real. That said, I'm not slowing down now. I tutor children and I have some wonderfully engaging writing projects that I'm thrilled to be working on.

When is enough enough? Life has a way of letting us know. Not long ago, I spent all of four summers traveling extensively, mainly in Europe. These were grand adventures and I had a wonderful time. On the last trip (2009) I broke my arm on the Paris subway. This was a hard and pain-filled time, and healing was slow. Still, with kind French friends and Peter, my caring companion, I was able to finish the trip and even enjoy it. After I returned home, however, I realized how lucky I was that my injury wasn't worse.
I decided to be a little more conservative in my travel plans because I want to be around to see all my grand kids grow up. I do hope to go to France again some time, but my recent trips have been from Seattle to Boston, Vermont, Québec, and Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

@Klymene Oh no, haha. I can sympathise with that though. Even if there's the tiniest spider in my room -- they especially like to hang around in the corners, right above my bed -- I have to ask my Mum or Dad to get rid of it. ;D

Never being good enough to be able to self publish.

Never living long enough to make the world feel my pain.

Living a meaningless life

@Kara: See, it's not the fact that I'm scared of being near them, so much as the fact that I'm never tall enough to get them. ... And I never, ever squish a bug. It's just so nasty.

Ok, I almost feel hypocritical, but, I don't have fear. But I'm willing to try and help with anyone who does!

living a meaningless life. i fear that the world will go to hades in these next few years. that another species will be driven extinct by humans. im afraid of never truly loving or being loved. im afraid for the world.

I'm afraid of, not me, but someone that I love dying. It's already happened to me before and I don't want it to happen again.

@Klymene Ah, I see. Urgh! Squishing them sounds disgusting! The thing that I fear so much about spiders is their legs. They just shouldn't have that many. Six I'm okay with, but eight ...

Sanjana wrote: "I'm afraid of, not me, but someone that I love dying. It's already happened to me before and I don't want it to happen again."

That's one of my fears as well. I'm so scared watching people suffer, or not getting a chance to tell people things.

@Soph If you fear that, then spend each day telling people you love them. On average, I tell my mom I love her about 4-5 times a day. After the first few weeks of me doing so, she stopped asking what I wanted. (Because, apparently, I only say I love you if I want something from her)

@Kara But it's that crunch you feel under your fingers... *shudder* I can't. Dani, my sister, on the other hand, is quite okay with killing and playing with bugs.

Jeanne wrote: "Mifalda,
You sound like me when I was in high school. I lived in a small town and I really wanted to go "out and away"! My parents didn't have money to send me to college, so I worked at being ..."

Oh, I love the little town I live in, but...yeah, well, to quote Terry Pratchett, "Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving." I guess, that would some it up.
As for college, I have four older siblings who are in/paying off college still, and four younger who will be following behind me, so I am working to be able to send myself as well.

I don't think anyone can help me with my greatest fear right now, except for myself.

My greatest fear is being a dissappointment to my parents. It's kind of easy to do since both my older sisters are very smart, and my parents aspire for me to be like them. A great pressure since there's a great difference between me and my sisters.

They are Perfect. I am not.

RedEye_Witch: Ah, I get that one. I come from a family of ten children, and most of them are kind of incredible. The sort of people who see something and then do it perfectly, you know? Or just do it without seeing it. >.> I think most parents won't be disappointed if they know you are actually doing your best. I would try to not compare myself to my sisters if I were you, or you will probably end up missing what you are actually good at yourself. Or, so personal experience would say. It probably depends on the parents.

Hmm, I've had a lot of time to think about this, and I still have a hard time really finding out what I'm afraid of. I mean, I have some nervous hiccups. I can be a bit nervous of very tall heights (but that's something that's more of my past. My crazy friends and their tree-climbing forced me to deal with it.) I'm nervous and very shy when it comes to people, but I'm learning to deal with too (though it's going slow and is definitely a hard process.)

The thing is, I'm not really afraid of things. I guess, if I had to choose the most prominent fear that I have, it would be the fear of not being helpful enough. I have this idea in my mind that I need to serve as much as I possibly can, which I think is good. What isn't so good is the fact that I feel like my worth is tied up in how helpful I am and that when I stop being so helpful, then I lose a bit of my worth and my use. The thing is, I know that I don't have to fear that, and that I should do what I can out of kindness and empathy, but not out of a need for self-worth. It's not really a fear, but more a mental flaw that I need to dislodge.

Way... You're an Abnegation all the way. There really isn't anything wrong with that. I'd be Erudite. Do you do realize I'm talking about Divergent, right?

@RedEye_Witch: It's so coincidental that you see your sisters as perfect and you as imperfect. I had a similar conversation with one of my friends on Goodreads about half a year ago. She'd been complaining about her perfect older sister. Seeing as I had a younger sister, I asked her, "Dani, do you ever see me as the perfect older sister?"

"I hope that's rhetorical," she responded, giving me "the look".

"No, seriously. I'm just asking," I told her.

"Yes. You are the annoyingly perfect older sister. You have perfect grades, you do amazing things, win competitions," she answered, sharply. "Now go away. I'm reading."

"Is that why you always try to get me in trouble?" I asked her again, both because I was honestly curious and I liked bothering her while she was reading.

"Yes! Now go away!" she screeched.

So, you see, she thought I was the perfect older sister. But, from my perspective, I'm far from perfect. I'm actually often jealous of her. She has this amazing voice, and she's a complete social butterfly. I wish I could sing like she did, which is why I get annoyed when she doesn't practice vocals. But that's beside the point. My point is that you may see your sisters as perfect, but I can guarantee that they don't see themselves as perfect.

The reason why you might feel like your parents always yell at you and not at them is because your memory is closely connected to your emotions. If you are running on a high emotion (usually anger, or fear), while something is occurring, you're much more likely to remember it. When your parents yell at you, you're upset, and very emotion (it goes without saying to everyone). But when your parents are criticizing your sister, it doesn't involve you and you won't be emotionally involved, thus, you won't remember it as well. So it's really all about perspective

... Alot of things are about perspective.

Is "Divergent" a book?

Yup! In it, all the characters are basically split into 5 groups. The Abnegation believe that mankind's greatest flaw is selfishness and they work tirelessly towards selflessness. The Dauntless believe mankind's greatest flaw is cowardice and work towards bravery. The Erudite believe that the greatest flaw is ignorance and they work towards intelligence. The Candor believe that dishonesty is the greatest flaw and work towards being honest. And the Amity believe that warfare and violence is man's greatest flaw, and they work towards living a peaceful existence.

The book was pretty good, but the series is going like the Hunger Games one went... DOWN.

So, the concept was interesting, the first book was good, and after that...all downhill? I think this often happens. For one thing, the author has plenty of time to write the first book, but the others might be rushed. Additionally, sometimes the concept is great for one book, but can't sustain interest over a whole series.

Exactly! But a big factor in my dislike of the second book was that the leading male was changed from ever constant and trust worthy to two sided, goal driven, and lacking morals. And the leading lady went from finding herself to making progressively stupid decisions.

Wow, those are huge character changes, and not for the better. The author would lose credibility with this reader.

I'm not really scared of anything, but my greatest fear would be to die without ever falling in love just once.

@Jeanne, that's why I was frustrated. But the degree of the character change really does depend on the reader. Perhaps it was simply my perspective. No, but I distinctly remember a scene where he hears his leading lady tell him something important and he immediately discredits her, while he would have listened in the first book. At least she didn't make a love triangle. I hate those.

@Rennegade. Love.... I've never been in love either. It seems like an abstract scary concept, though. I don't know if I would like to give up control of my emotions and just, well, fall in love. Everything is planned for me, and I like that.

Good, Klymene. We need to figure out who we are and what direction we are going before trying to figure out someone else.

Fear can be defined two ways: the first is "an unpleasant emotion", and the second is "respect". Something to think about...envision a beneficial fear to go alongside your overpowering fear.

Can I edit my fear? I was thinking about it and what I said before is definitely a sub-fear. I am afraid of being stuck here because I am afraid that I will one day need to do something and not be able to because I wasn't ready for it, and that that will hurt the people around me.

This topic really is for your own benefit. The idea is that by recognizing your fear, you can conquer it and be relatively fear-less

im afraid of the statue of liberty. that might take a bit of explaining. i was watching a british show called doctor who. in the season finale, the weeping angels took over the statue of liberty and well..... it was so scary. i guess i would say im afraid of all statues because thats where the weeeping angels were.

Klymene wrote: "@Soph If you fear that, then spend each day telling people you love them. On average, I tell my mom I love her about 4-5 times a day. After the first few weeks of me doing so, she stopped asking wh..."

thats so sweet. i think i will start doing that because you never know what will happen on the road or anywhare.

I have a fear of, not living up to my full potential.

I have a fear of not making the most of my life and exiting without leaving an impact.

No need to be afraid, friends. Just dig in and give it your best. :-)

My greatest fear is disappointing myself.

Hmm, updated fears.

Fear of failure...

And fear of loosing the boy I love. It feels foolish to be so head over heals for a guy after I've been a cynic on love all my life. But... I found him... At least I think I might have...found the one I might be with forever...