After the Apocalypse ☣ discussion

Entry #1 - 12/23/12 11:35pm

I told myself I would write things down in case anything happened to me, that I could leave something behind as a sort of legacy or if not a legacy then a memory of me. Something solid and physical that would stop me from blending into the endless sea of the undead.

The day before yesterday the world ended, now as melodramatic and ridiculous as that sounds I'm not lying. As of right now I'm alone in the world, well not completely alone I've got Jax and there's a few nurses in this forsaken quarantine centre who can actually make conversation- let me reiterate that... there's one whose prime focus isn't to kick me and my dog out. Her names Samantha and she's nice, well she's the closest thing I've got for a friend right now and frankly I'm taking all I can get. I've started drawing again too, Sam let me draw her. But anyway Jax hates it here, I hate it here. It smells like medicine and the people are irritable and grumpy at the best of times. Nobody tells me anything and I have no idea what we're holding out for...a rescue mission? A cure? More like a miracle...and I've lived long enough to realise that miracles don't happen to people like me.

Sam

The president put out another message a few minutes ago, something that was supposed to be helpful and inspiring but looking around this place now I think everyone's giving up. I'm sitting in a huge room, kinda reminiscent of the sports hall back at school. There's put up beds for a far as the eye can see, medical staff, military personnel and people in hazmat suits are everywhere, patrolling up and down talking amongst themselves and trying to look professional despite the fact they're all shitting up inside. I made a new friend today though, he doesn't like to go by his full name so everyone just calls him Bat, I have no idea what that's short for but he's pretty cool. We talked for a while earlier and he's nice enough, we exchanged stories and chatted for a bit until one of the military guys came along and told us all to shut our mouths and separate. They don't like people making friends here. Just yesterday some group of guys started a fight and one of the army guys broke his nose. Friends means an alliance and an alliance means a reform and a loss of control. They want the control here and I know it's for our own protection but it's stupid and it doesn't help.

Sam said she'd stop by tonight, make up a lie about meds so we could talk. She's got a few years on me but she loves Jax and we get on well enough so she's nice enough for conversation. Samantha gets me info from the outside too, she hears things that the rest of us don't. Things they want to keep secret to stop us all from upping and leaving. I'm gonna leave soon enough, but as for now, the food and bed are a welcome comfort and while Jax is with me I'm fine. Bat was raving earlier about getting out, I could see the military guys watching him. Bat likes conspiracies you see, he likes to talk about the government and the military and this entire apocalypse. He's interesting to talk to but he's too loud, sometimes I wish he'd shut up. I tell him to shut up a lot. I drew Bat too. He's not from around here, I guess that's why he's so interesting, he's got more stories than the rest of us.

  Bat  

He only arrived today, I got brought here yesterday when things were really crazy. It spread so quickly, one day and half of America are shuffling about talking about brains- well that was a lie they don't actually talk but there's a lot of shuffling. Anyway I'd been out with the dog and I got trapped on the wrong side of the bridge when they brought it down, that's what they've been doing blocking things off trying to stop the infection from spreading. Some military guy found me, asshole had the nerve to try and shoot me. I kicked him where the sun don't shine and his friend brought me here. And here sucks worse than being out amongst the undead ever did.

His name tag said Archie

See I'm sitting here now, crossed leg on my put up bed with Jax sprawled across the end and it got me thinking....what is important to me? And who even am I? I'm just another individual, when people ask me who I am I'm always Abbie, just Abbie, sixteen from Brooklyn who once wanted to join the police force. Well I don't anymore, I've only just begun to see how corrupt it all is. Now I'm just Abbie with no prospects, but frankly that suits me just fine. I'm a survivor and that's what I'm gonna do, I'm going to survive.

Abbie

Entry #2 - 12/25/12 approx 8:00pm

I guess I ought to say merry christmas, but to be honest there's nothing merry about it. For me this is day four in my own personal hell. At least there's some people who are cheery, I just heard the thirty fourth rendition of jingle bells- they almost managed it in canon that time, almost. My ears are ringing and the entire quarantine centre smells like canned food and cheap booze, Jax is barking constantly and Bat is completely off his face. I gave him my drink, I didn't want it so he's got mine, his and I'm pretty sure Betty across the beds gave him hers too. She's got a little kid called Rylan you see, he tottered over to see Jax today and I reckon the dog made his christmas for him. I guess you could say things are looking up a little, we even passed a few presents around. I drew a picture of Rylan and gave it to Betty, she actually cried and hugged me. It was nice, it's been a while since I've had that kind of contact.
Rylan

I haven't seen Sam yet today, she stopped by earlier and dropped off some extra food for Jax. He's become quite the local celebrity, I had people come by today and offer to buy him for money. I said no of course, I couldn't do that he's been my buddy for just over three years now and I couldn't imagine life without him. Here's what I drew for Sam by the way, I figured since I plan to leave her soon it'd be something nice for her to keep hold of.

Jax <3

I've been planning leaving this place since I got here, I mean it's nice to have the support of the others here. But this isn't where I belong and the fact they seem to be keep us here affects me even more. I need to get out and see if there's any hope of finding my Dad or whether it's too late. I mean I thought about trying to find Mom too, but that just seems impossible. I know they won't just let me leave, as much as I thought they'd kick me out I realised they won't. Because in a weird warped kind of way we're all a family and we've all got to protect each other. But I know I can't stay here, so tomorrow Sam's gonna help me leave. I'm going to try and get out of New York if that's possible and I'm going to head home. It's going to be hard but what most people don't know is that I've got a gun in my bag. I know how to use it and I know how to protect myself, it's just a matter of putting it to use.

Tomorrow I'll be free, it'll be me and Jax against the whole zombie ridden world. I know it'll be sad to say goodbye to the others, to Sam, Bat, Rylan and even Betty. But I don't belong here, I'm not ill and I'm not going to sit around and wait for this infection to get me. No. I'm going to fight.

Abbie

Entry #3 - 12/26/12 5:00pm

I woke up this morning to screaming and yelling and crying. It was horrible, terrifying and downright scary. It was Betty. She's infected, they didn't know how she bypassed the quarantine check but she's only started showing the signs today. The transition is perhaps the worst part of it, watching someone you love slip away as they slowly turn into a monster. She was bleeding from her eyes and from her ears, poor Rylan was screaming so I brought him over to keep him occupied with Jax. There was so much commotion and chaos though, the medical personnel were rushing about and they finally had to sedate her to calm her down. Then they took her away and we all sat there in quiet thought. There was the single shot of a rifle outside and then silence. We all know what happens here when someone turns. It's a facility and to them it's just procedure.

I sat with Rylan for the next two hours, he had calmed down a lot but he kept asking me again and again where 'mommy was' I vowed there and then that I would never become emotionally attached to a child in a world like this. It was too much to leave them, even in the way Betty had without a choice and without a say in what happened to her. It makes me feel sick now to write about it and I'm not even in the facility anymore. I got out.

I thought it would just be me, but Bat saw me packing up my stuff and asked me about it. I told him I was leaving, going to find my family. And out of the blue he just said he'd come with me. I would have argued, but the prospect of having someone else with me wasn't something I was going to turn down. It's a big wide world out here and I knew I'd find it too hard to say goodbye to him. It was hard saying goodbye to Sam though. She'd been the first person I spoke to when I arrived and she was the person that helped me leave.

Sam had snuck me Jax and Bat out of the loading bay at the back, she'd offered to take on Rylan and I gave her the picture of Jax and she thanked me profusely before handing over the locket she wore. I was shocked, I mean I haven't had a lot of stuff to call my own in the past but I could hardly take anything from her now. But she was insistent, so I finally accepted. We hugged and I wished her good luck, she did the same and then Jax, Bat and I disappeared into the night.

We're camping out on top of a walmart tonight, I'm taking first watch. Bat is snoring and I've got my gun in my hand. I've never used it against a zombie before, only against targets so my heart's been beating like a bird all evening. Thankfully nothing has come by this evening and I've been able to draw what I can see of the skyline. This place has changed so much in a matter of days and it terrifies me to think of what the future holds, if it holds anything at all. At least I've got Jax though and Bat for now, they're company enough.

Abbie

Entry #4 - 12/27/12 sunset

I met my first zombie today. Bat, Jax and I stumbled across a whole hoard of them today. Strange thing is I thought it was something I'd be prepared for, something I knew enough about that I wouldn't be afraid or frightened. I was wrong. I guess I know now that I'm not one of those people who doesn't just stop still or freeze up when they're afraid. I ran and Bat ran-well something like a bat in hell, but I could hear my blood pounding in my ears, the streets were blurring and I've honestly never run so fast in my life. I think it's the adrenaline that did it, but we managed to climb up a fire escape, it was a nightmare getting Jax up too but we finally got to safety.

Looking down over the edge of the building now the vast majority of them have dispersed, I drew a few of the faces that hung around. They're not human anymore, they're gone, lost to the world. It's frightening to think that this is what we've got to look forward to in the future. I can't help but feel afraid for the legacy we're going to leave behind. It's getting dark now, the sky is glowing orange as the sun sets over the city. Despite the fact I'm here with Bat I don't think I've ever felt more alone. He promised to teach me to fight tomorrow, he was in training to join the armed police unit before all this kicked off so he's got some moves. Still I can't seem to shake the fact that as of now it's just me and him against the world. It's been a day at most since we left the quarantine centre and part of me wants to say I miss it. I don't I just miss Sam and Rylan and the thought of a warm undisturbed sleep. The night time watches are a killer, I think if it weren't for Jax last night I would have fallen asleep on guard and that would have been disastrous.

Bat's smoking a cigarette right now, he has a couple of packs left but he's already promised he'll kick the habit when he runs out. I don't really see how he gets a choice either way. He's down to one a day as it is to try and conserve them. I remember the first time I touched a cigarette, it was two years ago when I was fourteen. My first boyfriend Darren was a bit of a stoner kid, looking back I realise he's just another loser and I was wasting my time. Still I remember the way the smoke felt in my throat, the coughing fit that accompanied it. I haven't touched one since and Darren got kicked to the curb as soon as he moved from tobacco to weed. The stoners were some of the first to go in this apocalypse, thinking it was just a hallucination or a drug induced delusion. Well no. I guess it came as quite a shock to them when it turned out the zombies were real and not just a figment of the imagination. Anyway, I can deal with the cigarette smoke from Bat's roll up, it doesn't affect me so much and the smell is almost homely, it's something normal at least. He let me draw him again, I think he thinks I'm weird, wanting to write things down all the time or record things in pictures but he never says anything. He's a bit of poser though and I try not to let that come across in the drawings. Right now he looks almost like a model, posing in the suns glare. He looks good though, calm, unaffected by the chaos going on around us. I wish I could be like him. I want to brave like Bat.



I know it's early so I'm relying on Bat to take first watch while I sleep. I asked him about his name earlier, whether Bat was short for something or whether it was a nickname. He told me he'd let me know with his dying breath. I don't know if he's joking or what but I don't want to think about dying, as of right now all I want to do is survive long enough to make it worth it. I'm sixteen, I don't want to become zombie chow I want to be someone who's remembered, someone who fights for what humanity there is left. Abbie Redgrave vs The World.
Abbie

Entry #5- 12/29/12 approx 3pm

Today has crawled by, like literally. I didn't sleep a wink last night, even with both Jax and Bat on guard. I saw my own reflection for the first time in a long while too, trust me when I say it's bad...to put it plainly I look disgusting. Like I could walk amongst the undead and you wouldn't notice disgusting. Chalky skin, greasy hair, dark shadows the whole nine yards, I'm a sight for sore eyes I'm sure. Bat said something about a hotel about a mile away from where we are now though, I'm thinking hot water, shampoo and clean sheets but I think that's probably just wishful thinking too. I dunno, it just all seems too good to be true...*sigh* Yeah I got too thoughtful and drew a picture of a bath well a sort of bath, don't ask but it would be real good for one of those to appear right about now.



Anyway, I should probably focus on the important stuff. Not that hygiene isn't top of my priorities right now but another important thing happened today. I killed my first zombie. It seems strange to use the word killed, I mean are they even alive anymore? And to kill would mean to murder? So does that make me a murderer? I guess, well I don't know anymore, politics and the law kind of went out of the window, so I'm not really sure where I stand on the whole killing murder thing. I want to say I did it because I didn't have a choice. But then I would be lying, there were two choices, shoot or run but Bat was yelling Jax was howling and I had the gun so I just did it. One shot. It's going to haunt me for the rest of my life I think. The fact I actually had the guts to do it I think is worse than the actual act itself and the thing is I feel guilty. Bat told me not to. He told me that they're not human anymore. But I'm having a hard time seeing things his way. They still look human, albeit if they're a bit on the rough side. I haven't touched the gun since it happened and that was at about eleven o'clock this morning. I'm not touching it again today. Promise.

Bat has been teaching me how to fight though and not fight to kill. Fight to disarm, possibly incapacitate but not with the intention of actually doing any permanent damage. It's good, it keeps my mind off things and it's getting me up and exercising. Although now my muscles are paying the price for it, my arms feel like they're burning. Still he's a good trainer, very patience and he makes me laugh a lot. He's running out of cigarettes now though so he's getting irritable in the evenings. But he trusts me to keep him sane, at least that's what he said. I don't know what he means by that and I don't want to dwell on it either, this isn't a world to dwell in. We've just got to keep moving, mind and body one endless journey.

Abbie

Entry #6- 12/29/12 6pm

It's still Saturday, but we made it to the hotel I spoke about earlier. To put it plainly the place is rank. The sign's falling off, the walls are crumbling and I think the stairs are going to fall out from under us. Thankfully Bat agreed so we're staying in a small outhouse that was round by the sports court, granted it's still dingy and horrible, the light bulb flickers and it smells like old people and cats. BUT there's hot water, praise the lord hot water and Bat managed to get his radio working with a few batteries we found in one of the drawers. I feel almost safe here. You'll probably find this funny, as of right now I'm chilling on a sun bed in front of what may have once been the pool- only it's green now and the water's stagnant it's like a really warped version of the only holiday I ever went on. Eww they are not good memories as it is, summer camp on the coast bugs, flies and stray cats yuck!



So this is our new home for now, I tried to draw it as it is. I know it looks gross and frankly it is, but there's a roof, a kitchen, ONE bed....we haven't quite got the sleeping arrangements out of the way yet. I don't really know what to think, I mean Bat's older than me obviously, by how many years i don't know but what if it's just us....okay I shouldn't be thinking about this..I mean he's hot and everything but scrap that I'm not gonna even think about it, nope blocked that out. Gone. Now Jax is staring at me like I'm crazy- hell maybe I am crazy. Huh? How bout that?

The sun's going down now and I should probably get inside before the spooks come out to play, I'll offer to take the couch, seems like the courtesy but I doubt Bat'll let me. Well it's worth a shot. Goodnight for now...Abbie out.

Entry #7- 01/01/13

Happy freaking New Year...or something like that, yeah it's a brand new year but it's not exactly happy. I'm yet to meet someone who's actually happy nowadays, nobody is happy in the godforsaken world. Bat's about as close as I get to seeing someone happy but he's more quietly confident as opposed to actually joyful. It was kind of weird last night, we just kind of sat together on the roof and counted down the final seconds of 2012. Don't worry we didn't kiss or anything like that, geeze we didn't even have balloons just a simple ten second count to say goodbye to the normality of 2012. I really miss that, in the month since December so much has happened, so many more people have been killed. The military have been sent in again but to no avail, society has officially crumbled. They've tried quarantined zones but the infection spreads like crazy, one bite and you could lose an entire town in a week. I've seen it first hand now and it's terrifying, truly scary stuff.

Now I know a New Year is all about change, promises and resolutions but I really don't know what to think, this year everything is going to be so different. I guess I do have one resolution, at least one I can think of. I want to be braver, like Bat. I want to be able to run into any situation and not bat an eyelid, just charge in their headfirst and not be afraid of what I might find. See that's the way Bat is, he's not afraid of anything or anyone and that's the way I want to be. I know I'm not as strong as him but I'm not weak either and I want to prove to people that I'm not afraid of the world we live in now.

I don't know about any other promises I want to make to myself, I know Bat's promising to give up smoking but that's just another empty lie. He won't quit, he'll run out that's what will happen. I guess the only other resolution I can think of is to keep surviving, to make it to 2014 still healthy well healthy-ish. I vow not to become a zombie, not to join the wandering undead because if I got bitten I don't think I could deal with that. I wouldn't know how to. So that's what I'm going to do, I've made a promise to myself that I'll survive and that I will keep Jax safe too. We won't succumb to zombies.

I guess tomorrow is just another day in a new year, Bat and I are still moving. We're trying to get out of New York, they destroyed the bridges so unless we find a boat there's no way of getting across. We've seen a few helicopters scouting the past few days though, Bat seems to think if we can get to the roof of a building someone will see us and pick us up. I don't know if I can believe that, but what choice do I have? I'm going to have to try.

Abbie