Write, Wrote, Written discussion

This is a recent post from my blog.


Since you hate loud bars and you don’t know your co-workers that well, you’ve never gone out for happy hour on Fridays. But you’d like to socialize a little more so you decide one night to join them.

You sit down next to somebody you kind of recognize who is laughing with the person next to him. Everyone except you leans across the table toward each other, yukking it up, while you sit up straight with a tight smile and fiddle with your napkin. No one notices you aren’t in the conversation, which is just as well since they’re talking politics and you are way, way on the other end of the spectrum from their incomprehensible positions.

Your face gets twitchy because you’re trying so hard to look like you’re having fun.

All you really wanted to do tonight was sit and read your mystery novel, so as soon as you feel you can leave without looking weird, you head out. You go home, turn on some jazz and pick up your book. You can’t quite be in the moment, though. Sixty percent of you is reading but forty percent is back at the bar, feeling stupid.

The next morning you get up and feel like your insides have been drained out and replaced with corn syrup. You fix yourself a nice cup of coffee but it just doesn’t please you. Normally you would go do your Saturday volunteer work, but instead you sit down with your mystery novel again. You’re too depressed to do anything else.

You mope. It seems too impossible to turn your mood around. But if you don’t get a handle on things, your day will be awful.

What do you do?

You first need to catch what’s going on and see that you’re gripped by feelings and thoughts that don’t reflect the truth. When you’re grappling with a depressed mood, or any strong negative feeling state for that matter, it feels like reality. Realizing in that moment these are just feelings, just thoughts is difficult. But it leads to liberation.

This is not about repressing your emotions or invalidating yourself. Your feelings are real and telling you about problems that need solving. You won’t be able to do so, though, if you’re drowning in muck. You must return to even keel to find effective solutions.

Connecting with your powerful essence makes all this possible. Even if the words seem false, bring to mind how the core of your being is life, wholeness, goodness, peace, even joy. This remains true no matter what you feel. If strong negative moods tend to trouble you, consider laminating a card reminding you of this reality. You may also find this meditation by Vietnamese meditation teacher Thich Nhat Hanh helpful:

Breathing in, I know I’m breathing in.

Breathing out, I know I’m breathing out.

Breathing in, I see myself as a flower.

Breathing out, I feel fresh.

Breathing in, I see myself as a mountain.

Breathing out, I feel solid.

Breathing in, I become calm water.

Breathing out, I reflect the sky and the mountains.

Breathing in, I become the vastness of space.

Breathing out, I feel infinite freedom.

You have now created a mind state that will help you pull yourself out of turmoil. In the next post we will look at continuing this process.

Readers: What are your own strategies for facing emotional pain?

Thank you for sharing this Jacki, good and wise advice for all.

Great post

Thank you for sharing. The meditation could be modified into a poem, although it's rather poetic on its own already.

Thanks so much, everyone, for your kind words.

Do you have any writing posted here? Where can I find it?