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Sorrows
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by
Hope
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Mar 23, 2009 06:19PM
Annalyn whispered to the moon
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...when Johann and Annalyn stomped out of the bar with a bottle of booze. Johann took a slug and then smashed it on the ground. They got on the motorcycle and Johann's anger showed in his driving. Annalyn told him to drive safely. He didn't listen. Somehow they wound up on the wrong side of the interstate. A truck almost hit them. A car tried but couldn't swerve around them. Johann died on contact. Luckily, Annalyn didn't have a scratch on her. Since then, she has been so sad and so guilty.
She loved Johann and now that he was gone she was terribly lonely her heart ached for him and she wasn't sure how she could go on
Her parents. How could she explain things to her parents. Not only was she having a baby out of wedlock, but she wasn't supposed to have been seeing him anymore.
She knew it would be hard, but she was also worried for her baby's safety and knew that her mother could help. Maybe she could find the courage to tell her. Maybe.
Annalyn was supposed to have supper with her parents tonight. However, she couldn't handle being with them without telling them about the pregnancy. She wasn't ready for that yet.
Her mother knocked on the door. Annalyn took one final deep breath before opening the door to admit her mother.
"Hi, mom."
"Oh, honey. You do look a little sick. How are you feeling?"
Annalyn couldn't hold it in any longer. She burst into tears and held to her mother for dear life. All she could get out was between gasps of air were the words "I'm sorry." Over and over again she repeated those two words.
Her mother led her to the chouch and sat her down. Once Annalyn had calmed down some, her mother asked gently, "What's wrong?"
Annalyn took another deep breath and looked into her mother's eye. Decision time.
"Hi, mom."
"Oh, honey. You do look a little sick. How are you feeling?"
Annalyn couldn't hold it in any longer. She burst into tears and held to her mother for dear life. All she could get out was between gasps of air were the words "I'm sorry." Over and over again she repeated those two words.
Her mother led her to the chouch and sat her down. Once Annalyn had calmed down some, her mother asked gently, "What's wrong?"
Annalyn took another deep breath and looked into her mother's eye. Decision time.
"The baby is going to be something for me to remember Johann by. If it is a boy, I will name him Johann. If it is a girl, I will name her Johanna in honor of Johann," Annalyn explained to her mother.
"Well, I hope you can handle the responsibility of a baby. I am not planning on helping you, at least not very much. I do not approve of this baby at all," said the disgruntled mother.
" I'll take care of this beautiful baby to the best of my ability. I am going to try my hardest to raise him or her to be the way Johann would have wanted him or her to be raised... but a little better I think. I loved him mother. Don't you understand?" Annalyn wanted to scream at her mother but she suddenly felt nauseas.
She quickly ran to the bathroom and lost any remainder of what little she had to eat. When her mother came around the corner and into the bathroom there was sympathy etched in her face.
"I'll help you as much as I can, even though I don't support this."
Annalyn looked up at her mom and felt a wave of gratitude toward her.
"I'll help you as much as I can, even though I don't support this."
Annalyn looked up at her mom and felt a wave of gratitude toward her.
Annalyn was so relieved to hear her mother say that but she didn't feel like she was necessarily ready to have a baby to take care of. She was excited at first but then the reality settled in, a child, she would have to take care of a child without a father.
"I don't think that I can do this mom. I can't be this baby's mother and father. I don't know what to do and I can't do it alone." She looked pleadingly into her mother's blue-gray eyes, "What am I going to do, mom?"
" Mom, have you told dad yet?" Annalyn asked."You can tell your father." Her mother looked away.
Annalyn felt pure terror. she couldn't tell her father.
She was mad now." Well you know what! Maybe you should leave me alone and never come back! I hate you and never want to see you again!" Annalyn screamed so loud she hurt her own ears.
She knew that it was probably her hormones kicking in, and that was why she had yelled, but she didn't regret it.
"Thank you, mom, but I don't want you to start out by saying, 'Oh darlin' our daughter has been such a fool. She went out and got pregnant and now she's gonna have a baby and we have to help. Isn't she terrible?' Okay?" Annalyn wasn't letting go of the anger, she couldn't.
"Well just don't say what I said because then I wouldn't want your help. I wish you would just help me. Like a real mother would." Annalyn was relieved to say the words she had wanted to for so long.
She knew she hadn't really been fair to her daughter. NO she was a perfect mother, she thought, she had always been that way.
She opened the front door and called for Annalyn and said she was sorry for all the mistakes she made. However, she was talking to air. Her daughter had left into thin air.
Her mother was starting to get worried.But she found out that she had been in the bathroom, dry heaving.
Her mother released the breath that she had been holding in releif.
"Annalyn, I'm sorry. This just came as a great shock and I don't really know how to take it. I will help you in any way that I can. I still think that you should tell your father."
"Annalyn, I'm sorry. This just came as a great shock and I don't really know how to take it. I will help you in any way that I can. I still think that you should tell your father."
"I'll be there for moral support, but I can't tell him anything or he'll figure it out, which would be worse."
Her mother wrapped her arms around Annalyn and held her close.
Her mother wrapped her arms around Annalyn and held her close.
Annalyn loved it when her mother did that. She didn't do it often but when she did it was full of love.
Annalyn and her mother went to the kitchen to cook dinner together. "We will tell your father while we are at the dinner table after we eat. There is no sense in spoiling his appetite by telling him before or during eating," explained her mother.
She hurried to assure herself that nothing was ruined yet and she needed to be patient with her father.
"Maybe it would be better to wait until we see each other in three days. It will be awfully hard to tell him when he will already be angry or upset. What do you think of that idea, Annalyn?" inquired the mother genuinely and gently.
"I won't prepare him, but I can prevent him. I may not like the situation, but you are my daughter and I will protect you and the baby from harm." She said it with such conviction that Annalyn had to believe her.




