Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder Get Me Out of Here discussion


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Julie Wengerd Are there any women out there that have read this book? And or do you know anyone with this diagnosis?


Karen Yes. I've read this book. I was curious about this topic because I do know someone who I suspect suffers with Borderline Personality Disorder. I was hoping for insight about the internal struggle a person feels with this disorder. I know, those of us on the outside, suffer in a completely different way being in a relationship with someone with (suspected) BDP.

I thought the book was good, but I'm not sure that it did a good job conveying how the character came to the conclusions that she did. I would have loved a bit more of internal dialogue, rather than descriptions of what the character did. It didn't answer my "Why" questions very well.

Over all, I do feel I learned something from this book. It won't ever be an award winner... simply because that is not the kind of book it was meant to be.


Julie Wengerd I was recently dx with this, and I can identify with her, but not all of how she reacts or thinks are exact. I know one thing you can do to help anyone with this is to LISTEN, and SUPPORT them, and tell them you understand. NEVER label them to anyone, or tell them they are mental. I am an intelligent woman with a heart of GOLD, and I am working toward complete healing myself.


Karen I believe that every persons experience will be different. It's to be expected that you have different thoughts and reactions. The person I believe has BPD does not want my support, and I have very little contact with her. Please continue to work toward healing yourself... with help, I think you will find life to be a peaceful place if you allow it.


Julie Wengerd I believe that they DO want & need your support, they NEED desperately for someone to BELIEVE in THEM. Let her know this! I seek & find my peace in the Scriptures, GOD is my peace:)


message 6: by Anne (last edited Jul 10, 2013 09:46PM) (new)

Anne I'm scared to read this book having just been diagnosed. I'm scared of what I will find. I'm finding the hardest part of this diagnosis is all the criticism associated with it. Even therapists don't want to touch it. My therapist said she couldn't help me.
I don't want to be called crazy and I don't want to be lumped into a category. I may have BPD, but that doesn't mean I am exactly like the author. We all have our own value system.
I have been reading so much negativity from people who don't even have it. In a forum on a different site, someone wrote they were happy they didn't know anyone with this disorder. *sigh*
Will I feel even more depressed after reading this book?


Karen No. I don't think you will feel depressed after reading the book. I think you will have hope. With a lot of work, a desire to overcome, and support. you can get better.


Empress I've read about five pages from the book and I would go from crying like a baby to laughing out loud. I know sometimes I laugh when I shouldn't, but I was wondering - has she actually tried to make it sound funny sometimes, or it's just my mind playing tricks on me?


Karen She does try to lighten it up with humor. It would be a really hard read if she didn't.


Empress I was wondering:

Would someone that is not BPD and reading the book get her motivations and feelings? I Would often see how she reacts in the opposite way of what she feels/wants and manipulating people in places where she doesn't explain it. Or they would just think "Oh, what is wrong with her for acting like this"?


Karen "Would someone that is not BPD and reading the book get her motivations and feelings?"

Well. I don't have BPD and I believe I got her motivations and feelings. It helps if you know the symptoms and common behaviors of the disorder.

"I Would often see how she reacts in the opposite way of what she feels/wants and manipulating people in places where she doesn't explain it."

Yes. Borderlines frequently act in an opposite way of what they feel/want.

This book might give you a better understanding of that.

I Hate You, Don't Leave Me Understanding the Borderline Personality by Jerold J. Kriesman

"Or they would just think 'Oh, what is wrong with her for acting like this'?"

In spite of doing a great deal of research and reading about Borderline Personality Disorder, it can be very difficult for a person who does not suffer from the disorder to NOT think, "what is wrong with her for acting like this."

Having a relationship with a borderline can be very difficult. They can be incredibly charming, and charismatic, yet the devil to get along with because they can be extremely demanding and/or clingy. It all depends on the charactersitics of the sufferer.

If you are asking "Do people understand why I do the things I do?" The answer is yes, but it isn't always easy to accept, and certainly difficult to "like" at times. Borderlines are classic patience testers and can be hard to tolerate when at their worst.

I think the one thing that anyone with BPD should take away from my statements is, "It's not YOU that people dislike, it's the behaviors."


Empress
Borderlines are classic patience testers and can be hard to tolerate when at their worst.


I agree with that statement, but I think it can be controlled. But this book really says a lot, about the reasons and how it can be managed. I think Rachel is very lucky for having a supporting family. It can be a good motivation for getting better.

Thank you for answering me.


message 13: by Karen (last edited Jul 21, 2013 07:46AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Karen Sure it can be controlled. Control implies "choice to control" or "choice to not control".

The choice to or not to, is the very essence of what makes the negative behaviors of a person suffering with BPD so frustrating to their target/loved one.

It also heavily weighs in as a reason why therapists don't want to deal with BPD clients. They can be manipulative, demanding, clingy, and down right volatile. Not something a person would willingly invite in to their personal or professional life without a serious and heartfelt commitment.

While I understand that choice doesn't guarentee absolute ability at all times... we all lose our temper, lash out, and over react... the sheer number of "attacks" followed by expected forgiveness and understanding tests the patience of those caring for and about an individual with BPD. As a result, it is not just the "sufferer' that suffers, but also anyone closely associated with that sufferer.

Rachel IS very lucky to have such a supporting family and therapist. Support, patience, and acceptance, along with a firm commitment from all involved is essential in getting "better." ... And that is what makes "Get Me Out OF Here" such an exceptional book. It does give hope, and hope is often the seed that we need.


message 14: by Empress (last edited Jul 24, 2013 11:33AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Empress Rachel really is very lucky. She managed to deal with all this and share it with us. She also had a motivation - her loving family.

I watched a documentary recently about BPD on youtube, and I think in this video clip they said Manipulation is when you consciously try to get someone to do something for you, without them knowing that you actually got them to do it. These individuals very rarely have the end of personal skills to figure out how to get you to do things in an non-obtrusive way.


Found it. It's at 11 minute


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