Writer's Network discussion

Okay, post an excerpt of your writings here! Make sure its interesting that way the readers are interested in reading the rest!

Hi! I'm Bre! This is a fragment from my first chapter of NEVER CROSSED MY MIND. "Sophie was eating her breakfast, the usual a bagel with apple jam and a tall blue glass cup full of strawberry milk. Somehow the pink in the milk and the blue glass looked so strange together that it was perfect. She then heard her mother in the bathroom upstairs, so she hurriedly gulped down the milk, grabbed her backpack and went. Sophie didn't really like saying goodbye to her mother; frankly she didn't even like saying hello. There was a world between the two of them that one day would sadly explode, forcing them to interact. She walked the block over to her bus stop on the suburban road. They used to live in the country, until her father got that promotion and made them move to the strange land of Pennsylvania."

Hey y'all!!!! Im Bianca (B) and I wasn't sure what to put up for my story, so I chose my fave paragraph (so far)

all the boys have seemed a lot cuter today, but Conner looks like a super model. Or a tan vampire from my favorite book twilight. I’ve never seen a boy look so good. Yesterday Conner had messy hair, a normal body, and regular dusty brown eyes, still dusty brown in the sunlight. Today, well you know. Am I starting to like boys? Like, to like- like them? And is it really such a bad thing?

p.s. If you read my story (called Elisia Jayne) i need suggestions for a better title!!!!

Breanna wrote: "Hi! I'm Bre! This is a fragment from my first chapter of NEVER CROSSED MY MIND. "Sophie was eating her breakfast, the usual a bagel with apple jam and a tall blue glass cup full of strawberry milk...."

Interesting, I would like to check out the rest of it!

Bianca wrote: "Hey y'all!!!! Im Bianca (B) and I wasn't sure what to put up for my story, so I chose my fave paragraph (so far)

all the boys have seemed a lot cuter today, but Conner looks like a super model...."

I like it, its a little rough, but still good!

Krista wrote: "Breanna wrote: "Hi! I'm Bre! This is a fragment from my first chapter of NEVER CROSSED MY MIND. "Sophie was eating her breakfast, the usual a bagel with apple jam and a tall blue glass cup full of ..."

Thanks!:)

Bianca wrote: "Hey y'all!!!! Im Bianca (B) and I wasn't sure what to put up for my story, so I chose my fave paragraph (so far)

all the boys have seemed a lot cuter today, but Conner looks like a super model...."

You picked a good fragment!! I love it!

And Bianca if you need help with stuff like that go to the Need Help section, that way this doesnt get too confusing.

I just started writing this story split-second, so Its...edgy, or rough, i guess. Its called My Love and it's on goodreads.

The music starts playing, and I hear the melody I've come to know so well. I start singing the first few words of the song, and as soon as I do, I forget everyone watching me, and get sucked in to the beauty of the song. I hear nothing but the music and all my nerves go away. Eliza joins in, and suddenly I hear her as well as the music, she looks nervous so I give her a reassuring smile, and keep singing.

Krista wrote: "Bianca wrote: "Hey y'all!!!! Im Bianca (B) and I wasn't sure what to put up for my story, so I chose my fave paragraph (so far)

all the boys have seemed a lot cuter today, but Conner looks like..."

I know, THX!!!

Breanna wrote: "Bianca wrote: "Hey y'all!!!! Im Bianca (B) and I wasn't sure what to put up for my story, so I chose my fave paragraph (so far)

all the boys have seemed a lot cuter today, but Conner looks like..."

Thx!

Bianca wrote: "I just started writing this story split-second, so Its...edgy, or rough, i guess. Its called My Love and it's on goodreads.

The music starts playing, and I hear the melody I've come to know so w..."

I like it a lot! I'll have to check the rest out!

Hey im Rima!!(or erin, whichever one is ok with me!)
Im putting out a fragment of my goodreads story 'The Aura.'

((i couldnt choose out of my fave three paragraphs so i put em all!! lol, u dont have to read it!))

"Ugh! Five more minutes!" I yelled when the continuos beep of the alarm clock woke me up. When i opened my eyes i saw the light flooding into my room. I stared at the clock, it read; 6:00 a.m. "Why did you wake me up so early mom?!" i yelled to my mom, who was walking down the hall. "It's the first day of school! Thats why! Now get up!" she yelled back. I sat up, thinking, "What?! Summers over already?!?!" wich was right.I got out of bed, i walked grogily over to the mirror. "Ugh, i look like a caveman!" i complained noticing the knots on the back of my head. I grabed my brush and yanked it through the tangles like a pro untill all of them were gone.Thats way better, I thought. I got dressed quickly so i could get some breakfast, because i just noticed the low growl of my stomach.
I stopped by the computer on the way and turned on the music, " A little bit of Jonas never hurt anyone." I whispered as I turned on the Jonas Brothers full blast. "HEY! TURN DOWN THAT JUNK UNLESS YOU ARE GONNA PUT SOME GOOD STUFF ON!!!!" My sister Tori yelled over the music. I didnt get why she was mad, she was the reason i like the Jonas Brothers anyways. "Fine, little miss priss. your just grumpy beacause you didn't fall in love over the summer." I mumbled, while i turned on Fred instead. But Tori said, "Why can't we eat in peace? Turn it off." I did't though, cause Fred is funny! Who wouldn't think fred is funny?! I walked into the kitchen and made a bowl of cerial. Bland. Where were the Lucky Charms when you needed them? I ate quickly, it was the first day of middle school!! Finally!
i got dressed, put on my backpack, and ran to the buss stop. I was wayyy too early. I sat down on the curb and pulled out my notebook that was supposed to be for Scocial Studies, and started drawing puppys in it. Then a little boy, my guess to be 8 years old, came up behind me and said "Wow, are you a 2 year old or something?". I looked up startled. "And," I proclaimed angerliy shutting my book, " Who asked you? How old are you anyways? Five?!". He pulled his face into mock shockness "Ouch. That stung a bit. I'm 10, btw. I'm Gabriel." he stuck out a hand. i didn't take it.

Oh I rember reading this! It was really good!!!!

cool!!! it was fun writing it!! idk why i stopped though, who thinks i should keep writing it??

Me!!!!! Have you read my story Dont Get Caught? I'll have to put an excerpt of it here!

Okay heres an excerpt of Dont Get Caught:

"Listen," He said in a hushed voice.

I put my ear closer to the door, I could only hear the faint murmer of the enemy.

"Nothing, it's just non-sense to me,"

He frowned, "Cassie, try putting two and two together, now quiet or they'll hear us."

Again I put my ear closer to the door, I put all of my energy in trying to hear what they were saying. It was hard, but then I was able to pick up words like, 'destroy' and 'kill.' But the scariest one was, 'spies.' I leaned in closer, and was able to make out one sentence.

"Behind the door."

I gasped. Immediatly I rose from the ground, and grabbed Aaron by the collar, "We have to go!"

Aaron and I ran through the halls hoping that no guards were on duty. My heart was pounding and beads of sweat began to form on my forehead. Then we came to a dead end.

"Just great," I growled.

Aaron started looking around.

"Up!" He said in an impatient tone.

"Whatever you say."

There was a vent above our heads. I gave him a boost and quickly he unscrewed our only escape.

ok.

Krista wrote: "Okay heres an excerpt of Dont Get Caught:

"Listen," He said in a hushed voice.

I put my ear closer to the door, I could only hear the faint murmer of the enemy.

"Nothing, it's just non-s..."

Why did u end it!!! It was so short! I am sad! I luv it!!!!!! u should write more! I know u said the end, but u could do an Epilogue!

i am going to do an epilogue, i thought i put the note to my readers up there.

Rima wrote: "Hey im Rima!!(or erin, whichever one is ok with me!)
Im putting out a fragment of my goodreads story 'The Aura.'

((i couldnt choose out of my fave three paragraphs so i put em all!! lol, u dont..."

its good!

Thanks!! In 5th grade i made one called the dragon chronicals!! maybe i can put some of that up here!

Krista wrote: "i am going to do an epilogue, i thought i put the note to my readers up there."

HOORAY!!!!! I guess I didnt see the note.

im not sure if i even put that up.......

Rima wrote: "Thanks!! In 5th grade i made one called the dragon chronicals!! maybe i can put some of that up here!"

wait wat grade r u in? im in 8th.......

Rima wrote: "Thanks!! In 5th grade i made one called the dragon chronicals!! maybe i can put some of that up here!"

Put all ur storys up! I did! Im in 7th grade and ive been working on my story "Elisia Jayne" for years... well I started it in like 5th grade, and I just got back to it this year.

Im in 6th! lol. ill go look in my room for it.....((brb))

Cool! Finally im the oldest.........like everyone I know is older than me......

And I would love to read ur other stories Rima!

Really? what grade r u in?

Everyone I know is older than me 2, Im 12 and in 7th grade, everyone i know is 13 or 14!!! B-Day is in the summer, so Im the same age all year!!!

8th

It was a hot summers day in Jacksonville, Florida. Libby was at the library, looking for a new book. She had been there all morning and yet nothing had caught her eye. Then, it felt like suddenly, on of them did. It was called 'The Dragon Chronicles.'. Libby brought it to one of the tables and started devouring it one page at a time. Thirty minutes later, Libby was on page 75 out of 10,000.((lol, i know, long book.)) The librairian came over and asked, "Libby, Want to check out that book?" Of course, Libby said yes. At home, she went strait to her room. Fourty minoutes later, she was on page 180. She started getting a feeling that someone, or something, was in her room.

Thats the book extract!!^.^

Bianca wrote: "Everyone I know is older than me 2, Im 12 and in 7th grade, everyone i know is 13 or 14!!! B-Day is in the summer, so Im the same age all year!!!"

Same here, im 13, and my b-day is July 11th.

Rima wrote: "It was a hot summers day in Jacksonville, Florida. Libby was at the library, looking for a new book. She had been there all morning and yet nothing had caught her eye. Then, it felt like suddenly, ..."

OOOOOOOOO Rima this sounds really good!!!!! I would absolutly love to read more!

B-Day is July 27 I luv the summer, but I hate staying the same age all school year!

ya, same here.

My b-day is September 2nd, so i will still be 11 in 7th, then turn 12, so, im rlly behind...

Wow, Well, lookin on the positive side, Kids are awesome!!!

kk, now lets get back to the stories, ill put a chat section in here.

ok

I would really like to hear u guys opinions/suggestions on my stories!

i liked it, it was what i used to think!! lol

They r really good Bianca!

Thx! I love ur storys!

Rima wrote: "i liked it, it was what i used to think!! lol"

what do u mean?

in 5th grade i liked this guy and i started thinking one of the lines in ur story.'Am I starting to like boys? Like, to like- like them? And is it really such a bad thing? '

oh

ok I get it now
Thx 4 saying it was good!

=P guess wat? 46 people have liked my story Dont Get Caught!!!!