Keep Calm And Read A Book discussion

If I were ... ?
What would you do/say to me?

Example:
1st person: If I were a bunch of balloons?
2nd person: I would set you loose in the sky.
If I were a pair of old shoes?
3rd person: I'd throw you out.
If I was a pen?

I would take you apart and then put you back together because it makes me feel smart
If I were a piece of garlic

I would feed you to a vampire to watch it die.
If i was a good book

((I new you were going to say that and wow you are hurtful))
I would read you
If I were a check for 1,000,000,000

I'd spend it on a pokemon. :3
If I were pants

I would wear you everywhere
If I were a vampire

I would SUCK YOUR BLOOOOOOOOOOOOD.
If I were a whiteboard.
(Are you in school right now?)

I would watch the teacher write on you.
If I was famous Tv show

(Nope)

(Oh what time is it at your place?)

I'd watch you until you got boring.
I were a costume

(well right now its 12:25)
I would wear you on Halloween
If I were a famous singer

I would listen and buy all your CDs
If i was a cow

I would torture you until its time to butcher you to give you to other people tom eat
If I were a dog

(So sweet..)
I would feed you to my cat.
If I were a clock.

I would throw you at Jessica.
If I were a laptop.

I would use to write stuff and look up stuff
If i was a pink fluffy bunny

I would snap your neck and feed you to the wolves
If i were a remote

I'd give you to a hobo.
If I were a piano.

I would hang you in front of a door and when someone rings the door bell the piano will fall on them
If i were a Safe

((Emma!!!))
I would see if you work like the cartoon safes
If i was powerade

I would forget about you and you will be cover with 5 layers of dust.

If i was a computer

I would shuffle you until you're sick.
If I were a ladder.

I would eat you because owls are tasty (but they sometimes have too many bones.)

If i were a rock.

I'd collect you

If I were a different person every day

T_T Seriously. Collect rocks?

I'd stab you.

If I were a skeleton.

I'd hide in your closet

If I were your mum

I'd commit suicide.

If I were a tram.

I'd avoid Jess as much as possible

If I were in red faces

I would sing until Mr Simpson has a heart attack.

If I were a mirror.

I'd break

If i were a bowl of icecream

I would eat you and you would be gone in less a second

If i was mtn dew

I'd be refreshing

If I was a llama

I would pet you and call you my best friend

If i a person who has the ring form lord of the rings

I would sell it on ebay! XD

If I were a car

I would drive you an crash you

If i was a wolf

I would sharpen my canines, and if anyone came up to me, I'd smile.

If I were a famous author

If i like you then i would read you.

If i was the best movie in the world

I would be watched millions of times over. (especially if it was scott pilgrim!)

If I were a fish

i would feed you to my big fluffy cat who plays with her food. (i am soo nice.))

If i was a big hamburger

...I don't like hamburgers ... :(

If I were a bear

I would run from you and never look back.

If i was bacon

It'd come from a pig, and that's sad. I'd probably try and put the pig back together. (I've gone crazy)

If I was a clown

I would scream my head off and call you the it and run for it.

If i was a apple

(apples are good)

I like apples...I'd yell, I CAN HAZ APPLZ!!!!!

If I were a raven

I would yell the raven and then laugh.

If i was a pretty kitty

I'd go Meeeooooow!

If I were a fairy

I would ask you for a wish.

If I was a ghost

I'd walk through you forever.

If I were a wheet-bix.

((What is a wheet-bix?))

I would throw you at a wall

If I was a house

(You don't have them in America? They're like cereal except glued together into a rectangle the you put the, in milk and they absorb the milk and it's deliciouuuuuus.)

I'd nock you down.

If I was a teacher.

((We have wheet thins. But not wheet-bix. Wheet thins are nasty.))

I would sleep in your class.

If I was a tv