Mourners discussion
Feeling Better
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Vent.
message 1:
by
Kate Kid
(new)
Mar 26, 2013 07:36PM
Sorry, Liz. I hope it was okay to put this. Just so peole can vent ya know?
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Yes! And I'ma need it. Like, now. *Scratches back of head* Heh....
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Oh and don't forget your Theory!
Oh yah! I'll try and get that done! I may write it on my school computer cuz I love typing on that thing!Well.... Okay, so my mom and I are running out of money and well.... she's fighting against her depression again.... I'm not supposed to tell anyone but I have to tell a few ya know? It's hard knowing that if you mess up once, you could send her over the edge.... So, I gotta vent. Also, I've asked for 35 dollars for a tee shirt (10 dollars) and also the yearbook (25.) We don't even know if we can afford them. So, my grandpa will help out.... Anyways, I got into the lunch line today and they told me I only had two or three days left of lunch. My mom usually gives me 40 bucks for lunch, last time my grandpa had to pay for it and I felt horrible about it. So I can't ask him and I refuse to ask my mom. I don't want to stress her out. So, I have to go without food for awhile.... I'm also paying for my field trip on Thursday because I won't even ask her for 2 dollars more. So really, I'm going to end up starving myself for awhile....
Kameron offered to bring extra food for me because he hates when I don't eat. But I don't want to take his food/money either....
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It's fine.... I'll survive. I think I may have just upset her.... FML
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Well, my mom has her job and we kind of splirged on our tax money on things that actually we needed. *Shrugs* Except for her bow.... and my Ipod.... but that's really it. I got dress cloths for presentations but I needed that. We're just always so low on money.
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It's alright.... ASH IS GONE! *Cries uncontrolably*
I wish I was allowed to make my own decisions. No scratch that. I wish I had the power to do what I want.
Last day for food, wish me luck....And what's up Sammie?
A lot. Always. But currently, I'm really pissed because I'm not allowed to spend the night at a friends for no reason except the fact that I can't be trusted.
Ugh and now I'm talking to the girl so see if she wants to even hang out, but she wont give me a time and if she doesn't then my dads like no. They are both driving me up the wall. This is why I don't even try.
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I know right!!!!? My parents just assume I have no friends. Which is sorta true because of them! At least not many I actually like....
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Kam and I aren't aloud to hang out in the basment at his house anymore.... we even got yelled at for hanging out outside.... This sucks! I'm not a frickan slut! So yah, I understand....
Just wondering, since when do sluts have less friends than non-sluts???
I keep having this fear.... a fear that my father is going to come and take me away from my mother and I'm going to have to leave Kameron and Compass. I'm going to have to leave Idaho Falls. I keep wanting to cry put Kam hates it when I do so I can't. There's so many ways he could come and take me.... somehow get the judge to see that I am unhappy here. But it's only half way true.... They could have an investigation on my house that isn't the cleanest and take me away from my mother.... I- I can't leave.... I'll die. I'll die! It was hard enough to make the friends I have now! If I moved down there I'd probably be at the golie 24/7. It's like a park place by my dad's house I always go to when I'm there. I'd just sit on a street on a side walk and cry, hoping for someone to just come and pick me up, dreaming of the day Kameron or my mom came to steal me back. I wouldn't care. I would go. I would go in a heart beat and if they tried to arrest them I'd stop them.... They can't take me away from home.... they just can't.... I think he's even tried it before.... He doesn't know how to be a father, especially with me. I'm so dark and he's so.... ugh! I'm just so screwed up in the head he wouldn't understand. I'm scared he'll even hit me....I'm sorry for babling....
It's alright. I have no idea what to tell you other than, you just gotta try your best not to worry.... Did it help to get it out at least?
Yah. It did. I told Kameron and he hugged me and said, "Let him try. It isn't going to happen. You're not leaving me."
My dad and step mom are fighting so bad. I hate it.
I'm sorry Sammie.... :( No fun when people fight.... I know how it is. I think I do it when I go down to my dad's.I think Kameron is getting sick of me....
I think I hear him packing. And lots of screaming. This is why I don't like being here for a long time. This always happens. And I never know what to do. Like do I go with my dad? Or what...?
Aw! I hope he's not!
Aw! I hope he's not!
Aw.... I'm sorry....I don't know.... I was having a bad night last night and he goes, "Can I tell you something?" And I said sure, then he says, "I don't like working in groups with you." ....my night sucked so bad last night I burst out crying, I had to distract myself with art....
I hate not knowing what's gonna happen next. It's different than being out of control, more like scared shitless.
Art is the weapon.
Kam... What the heck?
Art is the weapon.
Kam... What the heck?
Yah, I know how that is....Mhm....
I don't know.... He says he hates when I get pissed off at him when he doesn't "look up at me".... When I'm in a group with him I'm always the under dog. The one no one listens to or thinks their ideas are "Cute." Or, "Alright." "Okay."
I even told him I loved him yesterday and he just said, "Okay"
*sighs* That's not good. Like what are you even supposed to do...? I have no idea. Maybe he's just being confused right now:
No idea. He said it back like 20 minutes later and I was like. -.- sure you do....On a lighter note.... I'm doing this cool new art style and did Niall Horan in it and Josh Groban. And yes, MCR is on my list!
I KNOW! I'm ready for the crap I'm going to get too.... I'm doing this whole series of 1D and MCR. And then doing some others for my mom.
Indeed.
Tomorrows Easter. I hate holidays when I spend then here. Things always go wrong. Fights. Always. 3
Tomorrows Easter. I hate holidays when I spend then here. Things always go wrong. Fights. Always. 3
That sucks.... I'm excited because of what I'm giving my mom.... and my dad hasn't talked to me.
I made this Josh Groban thing and it looks amazing. She's had a crush on him forever.
