ABNA discussion

I'm putting the finishing touches on Chasing Danny for self-publication. I was feeling pretty psyched about it. The story feels done. The edits are pretty tight. I like the cover design and I have my marketing plan all set.

Then I go and finish a book that made me cry both because the story tugged at me AND because it made my question my ability and my RIGHT to tell the story I have sitting here waiting for me to pull the trigger.

Does anyone else get plagued by those kind of doubts when you inadvertently compare your work to what's out there?

The biggest problem I face as a writer is deciding sometimes if I am too hard or too easy on myself. At some point you just have to decide that it doesn't matter.

Am I too hard on myself? Yep, when you feel like a single typo in the first paragraph of your story that slipped by three revisions and your editor's eye will be the end of your writing career, that's too hard on yourself.

Am I too easy on myself? Yep, when you say "well, I'm just starting, so clearly I won't be as good as (famous author)", that's too easy on yourself.

The fact is both of those things are correct, but not to the extremes. I **do** have to get better at catching mistakes. I **am** a relatively new published writer.

It's like being a rookie on a MLB baseball team. You might have a couple of good games at the beginning of the season, or you may make errors all through the first game. Either way, it is very unlikely that you will have your entire career remembered for those first games. Yes, you have to step up your game to play with the big boys, but at the same time, you ARE a rookie.

Just a final comment, K.R., even if you put out the worst book possible, the book police will not show up at your door and beat you. The worst that can happen is that no one buys your book. That is exactly the same thing that will happen if you don't pull the trigger.

Wilson wrote: "The biggest problem I face as a writer is deciding sometimes if I am too hard or too easy on myself. At some point you just have to decide that it doesn't matter.

Am I too hard on myself? Yep, whe..."
I like this part: "The worst that can happen is that no one buys your book. That is exactly the same thing that will happen if you don't pull the trigger."

It's the bald truth.

Sometimes, I really wish I'd actually stop reading.

"Read often. Read widely," they say. I'm all for that. But it's get really frustrating when you read something that is so far out of your genre, it doesn't exactly apply and yet you sit there and say to yourself, "Well - BLEEP - why don't I just go hide under a rock and die for thinking I could write something even slightly as good?"

I HATE that insidious self-doubt crap but it happens all the time whenever I read something that pulls me in until I'm reacting to the story like I'm in it, living it. Then I go back to my own writing and wonder, "Will this have the same effect on someone else? What if it doesn't?"

I'm not writing for fame and fortune. I write to tell the story I want to get out there and hope that it captures someone the way some writers capture me. I guess I'm too close to my writing at those times. "Too hard" on myself, as you so deftly put it.

I'm still going ahead and publishing. But I was curious how many others have read something brilliant and wished, for just a moment, that perhaps they had written those exact words or with the same flair. It's ridiculous; I know. Copying someone's style is cheap and lazy, but there are a few authors I'd give my right arm for being compared to, if only in the hopes that a bit of their brilliance rubbed off on me. :)

K.R. -
I think we all doubt ourselves. Isn't that part of any artistic personality? I love, love, love, Wilson's comment: "The worst that can happen is that no one buys your book. That is exactly the same thing that will happen if you don't pull the trigger." I need that embroidered on a pillow!

I think the best thing to keep in mind is that the book you thought was absolutely AMAZING - someone else probably hated. I recently read "Warm Bodies" (I believe but wouldn't stand in front of the firing squad that it was originally self-published). I LOVED it! I thought it was one of the best books I've ever read. When I looked at some of the reviews right here on goodreads, I was pretty shocked that quite a few readers loathed it. That's the way it goes...

I started reading reviews on Amazon when I first got my Kindle a year ago. I thought they were great at first because I got to the point where I would go to the bad reviews first and I could tell if the book was edited properly, etc... But lately I've almost passed up some really good books because I checked Goodreads first and there were some nasty reviews. Anyway, now I ignore reviews where it's obvious that the person just wants to hear their own voice.

K, you are already showing courage by writing a book and by making sure it's edited and you have a plan. Have courage to put it out there! Not everybody is going to like it, but somebody is, and you never know what difference you may make in that somebody's life. There's a reason why people read the same types of books over and over and over again. They know what they love and they want to experience more of it!

A.E.M., I think that many people write nasty reviews not because they didn't enjoy the story, but because they feel they aren't being critical enough if they don't say something bad.

That is something I try to avoid and why I hate writing reviews. I would rather focus and be specific on the good things and be very general on the bad things.

This goes for taking criticism as well. Focus on the good, specific things (when someone says "I like where you...", they generally really liked it) and take the bad as a general pool. If someone says that constantly using semicolons when a period could be used distracts them and they hate your book for it, then it is a pet peeve of theirs and not necessarily a problem with your writing. Also, readers can be wrong. It happens.

Goodreads, in particular, has a very harsh grading scale built in. A 2 or 3 star on this site would be a 4 or 5 star on many other sites. I look at 'The Lord of the Rings' and shake my head. It is the third most read book in the English language, behind the Harry Potter series and the Bible, and it has a 4.41 rating on Goodreads from 200,000 people.

That is a hard judging group of people!

I'm not exactly knocking what I write. It's just that there are times when I read something, even if it is only a page or two out of an enitre book, that is sooooo well done I can't help but subconsciously compare my work to it and worry that I might come up short. I am my own best fan and worst critic rolled into one. But hey! Isn't multiple personality disorder an affliction all writers suffer from?

I completely agree with you, Wilson. I guess I've just come across a few recently where somebody goes on and on over a pet peeve and a short book later I'm exhausted just from the review. I just finished an awesome book that I nearly didn't read because of people being overly critical.

I probably need to go back to my old school system of giving the book a try before judging it.

K, I am curious about your books! You sound like you are into this for the artistry of it, and that's a beautiful thing.

I just wanted to add that I don't think an honest review where somebody is giving some criticism is bad.

I am scatterbrained today. Sorry for the three posts. I wanted to mention that I doubt myself all the time. I have had very few people close to me even dare to read my book. It's like they are afraid it's going to be bad and they don't want to have to tell me. So I don't have any reviews from people I know. My husband likes the book and did not hold back critiques while I was writing it, but he doesn't want to review since we are related, lol. So I doubt myself. Right now I feel like I'm on the American Idol of writing. Am I actually good? Am I the one on camera because my book is going to be the example of what not to write? Should I quit my non day job of writing? Just my own thought process.

A.E.M. wrote: "I just wanted to add that I don't think an honest review where somebody is giving some criticism is bad."

I agree with you A.E.M. I think though if a reviewer is going to say what they didn't like they should say what they like.

I don't review many books. If I absolutely loved it, I will share that in a review but I find it hard to be negative. I was like this before I ever wrote a book myself - now even more so. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I know the writer put time, energy and a piece of their soul into their work. When I write it absolutely becomes a part of me - I would imagine this is how most authors feel.

I have toughened up an unbelievable amount since putting my first story out there. All it took is a single one star review here on goodreads and that person didn't even have the - whatever - to tell me why they hated my book or what they hated about it. On the other hand I've gotten messages from people in Japan, Africa, Greece, Australia, and the USA telling me they loved it and can I please give them "something/anything" from book 2. I have finally and thankfully been able to focus on the good but heavens - there was a meltdown period involving hysterical dramatics and a poor husband staring at me then holding me like a baby. The saddest thing is, these "fans" who message me 9 times out of 10 don't write a review here or on amazon. WHY!!! They took the time to look me up and make a connection - no review. I guess sometimes that's human nature. At work patients tell me all the time how much they love me and I'm thinking "I wish they'd tell the doctor." Let me piss them off though and he's getting an earful.

I think self confidence is hard for artist's to come by. Again - WHY? I know I wrote a good book but just like K said, sometimes I read something else and think wow - I'm not quite so awesome as this. Keep in mind though that you didn't set out to write THAT book, you set out to write THIS book.

Glad I am not the only one with these self-doubts! I just self-published my first book and am close to finishing my second. On amazon I have 9 five star reviews 1 four star review and 1 one star review but the only one that sticks to my brain and heart is the one star. I was walking in the clouds until that 1 star review popped up and now it's like i suddenly doubt the sincerity of all the positive feedback that i have received. i, too, get so emotionally involved in books and characters that it haunts me as I read my work and pray that someone will feel that way about my story.

Up until recently I hadn't read for the longest time. I got to reading again and remembered why I stopped, the books I was finding weren't doing it for me. Then I found one that I couldn't put down. And the self doubt started. I'm fighting with myself to not go back and try to edit my book to match what I liked about another book. Because each book should be different.

Then again I've been sitting on this story for over ten years. I am ready to be done and share it, even if for only a small crowd. I'm writing to tell a story, and to hopefully share it with people who like it. Fame and fortune would be nice but not my goal.