Speaker Geeks! discussion

Liane pretty much covered what rape is, but I want to say one more thing.

There are a lot of people who say that the victim (usually they are referring to women) is asking for it if they wear revealing/short/tight clothes. That's ridiculous. The definition of rape clearly states it is "without [the victim's] consent," so how can they be asking for it??

Also, there are a lot of women who wear hijabs, which are scarves that cover almost every inch of the body, save for the eyes, and they still get raped. So how were they, in any ways, "asking" for it?


H99 wrote: "I wish this wasn't a debatable thing. It shouldn't be, ever."

I really wish it wasn't either.

I don't...Exactly know what this thread IS. Um...rape is someone forcing sexual intercourse on someone...That's my definition.

Liane wrote: "There are a lot of people who say that the victim (usually they are referring to women) is asking for it if they wear revealing/short/tight clothes. That's ridiculous.

Those people are also implyi..."

That's just like in our school--we have a certain dress code for girls, but not to keep everyone appropriate--so that we can "prevent the boys from cutting our straps, etc." Why are you punishing US instead of the kids CUTTING OUR STRAPS?

Shadowhunter Girl wrote: "I don't...Exactly know what this thread IS. Um...rape is someone forcing sexual intercourse on someone...That's my definition."

You don't sound very serious about the topic.

Liane wrote: "Lo♪ wrote: "Liane wrote: "There are a lot of people who say that the victim (usually they are referring to women) is asking for it if they wear revealing/short/tight clothes. That's ridiculous.

Th..."

Oh, like shirt straps. Or undergarment straps, I guess.

I'm not even looking at those links, but this topic disgusts me as a whole. The whole 'oh they provoked me with their clothes'??? This is what I say to that:



And the whole; (s)he didn't say so but I know she enjoyed it?! That's CRAP! It's what they SAY that matters not what you think!!

AND...they say to people: careful not to get raped.
WHY don't they say:
PEOPLE...DON'T RAPE PEOPLE!!

They don't say: be careful of killers,
they say
PEOPLE...DON'T KILL!!

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?!?

haha naww :(

and thank god it's not just me!!

Chlo wrote: "I'm not even looking at those links, but this topic disgusts me as a whole. The whole 'oh they provoked me with their clothes'??? This is what I say to that:



And the whole; (s)he didn't say so b..."

That is a great picture.

Another thing I really hate, while a bit off the topic, are the kids at my school who joke about rape. I really wish there would be a class, such as health class, that teaches us about rape--not the "don't wear provocative clothing, kids" lesson but the "NO IS NO" lesson. Most kids at my school joke about it because they don't think it's serious. And no one ever teaches them.

The more kids who think rape is "funny" when they're like nine or thirteen years old, (probably) more people will think it's okay to do that when they're older.

Rape for me is - Touching someone in a not-so-decent manner without his/her consent, forcibly, which may affect the other person mentally/physically.

C'mon now, a person does all the things, just not the penetration part, and he/she will escape the definition of rape? Rape is of mind and body. You touch someone, force him/her - Doing that is equal to raping.

They have the definition of sexual assault. Equally as serious, but no penetration involved.

H99 wrote: "Lo♪ wrote: "Another thing I really hate, while a bit off the topic, are the kids at my school who joke about rape. I really wish there would be a class, such as health class, that teaches us about ..."

I didn't mean to say every thirteen year old was like that--I'm thirteen as well, and so are many of my friends who agree with me on how serious the topic is. Of course, there are still some of my friends who haven't realized it yet.


Liane wrote: "Lo♪ wrote: "Another thing I really hate, while a bit off the topic, are the kids at my school who joke about rape. I really wish there would be a class, such as health class, that teaches us about ..."

That makes me so mad. What were the reactions?

Liane wrote: "Yeah, I really hate how the word 'rape' is so casually used, even during gaming! "So I was raped by this boss..."

The reactions were mixed, some are saying that she was asking for it because she ..."

That's awful. Even if she was heckling the guy, I can't imagine how her comments could be worse than his reply. (They could be, I dunno.)

alex {respect your life} wrote: "i think rape is hsving sex with someone aganst there will.or while there not Conscious"

Technically if you're unconscious, then that is against your will, right?

I hate the "It's not rape if you like it." line.
YES IT IS STILL RAPE. it doesnt matter whether the victim was wearing provocative clothing, they had made out with the person before, whether they were dating or even married. If someone says no, and the other person/people go on with it, that is rape. And the problem is, girls (and guys) are ashamed of it, and dont want to report it. People will even go to the lengths and call the victims sluts or whores. The problem is, society teaches people (especially girls) to not get raped. They dont say "dont rape people". And this just sickens me in general. This goes with sexual harassment and objectifying others too. What a lot of people dont seem to get is that rape isnt about sex. It's about power. And rape does not come from someone's sex drive. It comes from the patriarchal paradigm and the fact that some men think they are entitled to others bodies. I'm not blaming or hating on men. I'm just stating what society teaches them. I'm only 13 and I can see this happening already. Young men being taught these things. And it's sickening.

^This. All of it. Thank you.

This is why I absolutely, with every fibre of my being, despise most conservatives. I hate people who see the opposite gender as objects instead of people. I hate people who think that rape victims are inconsequential. I really, really hope there is a hell, so those people can go to it.

About that comedian: yes, I've heard that, it's Daniel Tosh from the show Tosh.0 .

@Lia
Thank you. This all goes with the fact that men are taught to believe that they are entitled to women's bodies. That it is their right to stare and that women OWE them sex if they are nice or "hot" enough. It does not matter. No one owes anyone sex, or their bodies. And don't get me started on the school's dress code. This is society saying "Girls, cover up! You're distracting the boys!" Seriously? Once a the vice principal asked my friend why her shorts were rolled up (they were sewn like that). When my friend told her that, she said "Oh, you're just trying to impress the boys?" They are teaching boys that it is the girls that need to cover up. That the boys arent supposed to be able to control themselves.

Everyone has a right to wear clothes that they're comfortable in. No exceptions. I see girls who are not comfortable in tight, more revealing clothing, and they get called "lesbian" and "dyke". The others get called sluts. I dont wear my clothes for other people. And even if I was, it's not your business. It's a free country for a reason.

Lia wrote: "Ella wrote: "
Everyone has a right to wear clothes that they're comfortable in. No exceptions. I see girls who are not comfortable in tight, more revealing clothing, and they get called "lesbian" a..."

Thank you.
I also hate it when people say things like, "nice guys finish last. I have proof--I'm nice to all girls, and they never want to sleep with me!"
Somebody who sees a girl and immediately thinks sex is probably not a nice person. Sex shouldn't be a reward for treating someone like a human being.

@Lo
And in doing so they turn women into mere objects of their pleasure, even if they treat them nicely.

It's ridiculous, really.

It's sickening and degrading if you ask me.

Yes, if a man is walking down the street, is he asking me to rape him? No. I want to see a time where a women can walk down the street, drunk and naked without the fear of being assaulted or raped.

Well it's obvious that men usually (key word: usually) have a stronger sex drive than women. I dont know if that's biological or societal. But the thing that separates us from animals is that we can choose to not succumb to our instincts. I dont blame anyone for wanting sex, but I do if their want is objectifying people and such. The man/woman should learn to control their instincts and not solely act upon them. Society has taught males that females are there for their pleasure only (of course they dont blatantly think that, but it's a subconscious thing ingrained by patriarchy). We need to teach EVERYONE to begin to question society.

Exactly, that's why I dont like bringing the rape culture up often because I feel like I'm insulting men saying that they are slaves to their sex drive, which isnt what I'm trying to convey.

Anything sexual that happens without the consent of the other person is basically rape.

Ella wrote: "Exactly, that's why I dont like bringing the rape culture up often because I feel like I'm insulting men saying that they are slaves to their sex drive, which isnt what I'm trying to convey."

That's a really good point, actually. I'd never even thought of that before. It's also really sad that it is a point.

Carrie wrote: "Anything sexual that happens without the consent of the woman is basically rape."

Are you saying only women can be raped?

@Lia
It's because they think that men are stronger and "cant" be raped. And that they are no longer as manly. Which is really sad, because rape is traumatizing for anyone and they probably need support, not hate and ridiculing.

For some reason I debate this topic almost daily, even outside of GR.

It makes me so sad that this can be debatable.

Every time someone uses the word rape in the wrong context (e.g. "Dude he just raped you at that game."), every time some one jokes about it (e.g. "It's not rape if you like it."), it undermines the problem. It makes it seem normal. And it's not. Something has to change.

1 out of 3 women will be sexually assaulted in some point in their life. It should be 1 in 100 000. But even that's too much. It shouldnt happen at all.

Ella wrote: "1 out of 3 women will be sexually assaulted in some point in their life. It should be 1 in 100 000. But even that's too much. It shouldnt happen at all."

I think it's 1/33 for the male statistic.

Billy wrote: "Carrie wrote: "Anything sexual that happens without the consent of the woman is basically rape."

Are you saying only women can be raped?"

No, of course not. I only said it because the earlier comments were about men abusing women.

Ella wrote: "1 out of 3 women will be sexually assaulted in some point in their life. It should be 1 in 100 000. But even that's too much. It shouldnt happen at all."

Lia wrote: "Yep. Honestly rape is terrible no matter what gender but people insist that it is the woman that encouraged the rape, that the man should have defended himself.

Just plain disgusting, these ideas."

Wow! That's a horryfing piece of stats!

H99 wrote: "Lia wrote: "The thing with violence or violent acts is that people don't see them as real. That person whose son got kidnapped didn't happen to you, it happened to Mr. So-Far-Away-I-Can't-Even-Care..."

Unfortunately, they could. They could stay in denial and say "It´s just a fashion" or "We better get him a shrink".

Billy wrote: "Carrie wrote: "Anything sexual that happens without the consent of the woman is basically rape."

Are you saying only women can be raped?"

No, of course I am not. I only wrote in that way because earlier posts were about men abusing women.

H99 wrote: "Billy wrote: "Carrie wrote: "Anything sexual that happens without the consent of the woman is basically rape."

Are you saying only women can be raped?"

If she is, that's certainly wrong..."
No no no, I was misinterpretaded .

@H99
*sigh* This makes me feel terrible. I found another article about it.

http://captainawkward.com/2012/08/07/...

I've been wondering: if someone is pressured into having sex, is that rape (assuming they were pressured into saying yes)?

@H99
But where do we draw the line? We can't prove whether they were pressured or not. That's what makes rape such an iffy topic. Because it is hard to prove.

Lia wrote: "Ella wrote: "I've been wondering: if someone is pressured into having sex, is that rape (assuming they were pressured into saying yes)?"

Would a man having sex with a prostitute then be considered..."

Definitely not. It is the woman's choice to live that lifestyle.

Unless the man forces her, its not rape at all.

Lia wrote: "She's being forced into the lifestyle and pressured into sex by her circumstances."

I think thats a bit of a stretch. Nobody is forcing her to have sex with men for pay. Unless she has some pimp that is making her, its not rape at all.

Women who aren't doing well financially can get another job, its not like being a hooker is the only option.

Lia wrote: "I DID say it's not rape, I was just using the analogy as an answer to Ella's question.

"
Women who aren't doing well financially can get another job, its not like being a hooker is the only option..."

Is it really the only option for people? Theres many jobs out there...it seems like being a hooker may be the easiest and that is why some women choose it.

And if a pimp is making her, in a way, the pimp is forcing this girl to have sex, so he is responsible.

Lia wrote: "Billy wrote: "Lia wrote: "
Is it really the only option for people? Theres many jobs out there...it seems like being a hooker may be the easiest and that is why some women choose it.

And if a pimp..."

I have not been a citizen in a 3rd world country, but I would assume it would be harder to find suitable jobs there. I think having to do prostitution is horrible, especially if that is the woman's only way to make money. However, I do not consider this rape.

Lia wrote: "I don't consider it rape either, but saying that there are many jobs out there and that women are prostituting themselves because it's the easiest job they can find is offensive, especially when I..."

What does a male do if there are no jobs? I'm just curious...I assume he doesn't turn to prostitution...

@Billy
And why is it you think a male wouldn't turn to prostitution?

@Everyone

Also, prostitution seems to be a vicious cycle from my perspective. A lot of them are drug addicts, making just enough money for their next joint. It's sad. But I don't know very much about it.

What about the people who pay these prostitutes? Are they to be blamed?

(Isnt prostitution illegal?)

Ella wrote: "@Billy
And why is it you think a male wouldn't turn to prostitution?

@Everyone

Also, prostitution seems to be a vicious cycle from my perspective. A lot of them are drug addicts, making just en..."

Because there aren't as many male prostitutes.

Lia wrote: ""Aren't as many" isn't the same as "there aren't any", men still turn to prostitution, to prove it all you have to do is fire up a porn site."

I know the difference, which is why I said there aren't as many. So no thanks. I know there are male prostitutes, I just wanted to know what the average male would do in that situation.

Lia wrote: "It's just that you said, "I assume he doesn't turn to prostitution... " as if it's not something any male would do."

I was looking for the average job a male would do. If the average woman turns to prostitution, what does the average man do in difficult times?