Howl discussion

After rider had promised and assured him he would be next to her the whole time, they started their hike, he liked hiking as his wolf, his steps were more defiant and he knew where he was going. Being a wolf really helped when it was snowy and his fur coat kept him warm, especially in search parties.... He looked at Bridget who was next to him, their bodies touching, she looked a little nervous, and he could tell she was being brave for him. He whispered look behind you he turned around himself admiring the view

Bridget closed her eys, terrified. She moved closer to Rider as she turned around, to keep herself from having a panic attack. Woow, it's beautiful She said. It truly was, but the only problem was that it was really high up. She took a deep breath, taking in the fresh air. It was amazing, yet terrifying, but because she was with Rider, she knew that she would be okay.

yes. It is. he smiled at the scene. And then glanced at Bridget, he saw her expression lets go now. he didn't want her to be scared, he was supposed to protect her, and so he started walking back down the mountain, with her behind in right next to him, when he herd a mountain lion. It was soon in front of them barring its teeth at them hissing away. Rider growled and bared his own teeth, ready to take the thing down

Bridget practically jumped when the mountain lion came in front of them. She ended up slipping, and practically falling into the mountain lions feet. Bridget did the only thing she could think of. She rolled out of the way, so it couldn't strike out at her. Once she got back to her feet, and a little distance away from the creature she growled. Way to spoil another good day. She had had no training, so honestly, right now she was just following instinct.

Rider was a healer, he didn't know how to attack, but he knew the weak spots at least. He saw Bridget slip, and the mountain lion almost dove for her, but thankfully she rolled out of the way. Rider dove for the mountain lion, sinking his teeth in its neck, the mountain lion bit his own neck, and clawed at his stomach and his back, but he held on, the mountain lion thrashed him around, until he couldn't hold on any longer, he flew ten feet until he landed in a fallen tree branch that poked into his side, he howled in pain.
The mountain lion did a swerve and then fell down, dead.

Bridget scrambled up to where Rider was. If wolves could cry, she was. She could feel his pain, she she wanted to kick herself for not being able to help him. Her eyes were full of panic and worry. She whimpered, and nuzzled her head with his, in a way asking what she could do to help. Her heart felt like it was being torn apart. Bridget was shaking with fear for her mate. She felt paralized. She could utter a single word, but through her actions she tried to ask him as for what she could do. She had never been so scared in her life.

Rider was in excruciating pain, the branch had gone through him. And was stuck in his side. He was whimpering, and so was his wolf, his wolf was trying to change, but rider wouldn't let him. He had to be brave for Bridget. pack link he asked her, crying out. If they couldn't get anyone from a pack link.... He tried standing up, but failed miserably. if you can't get anyone... he didn't want to danger her anymore, and she must be petrified up here, your just going to have to leave without me. You can send for help, but please don't come back up here. he said his eyes and voice pleading.

I'm not leaving you She sobbed out. She couldn't leave him here. Despratly, she tried to reach her pack. Anybody, please, I need help! She cried, praying that someone would here her. No answer came though. She racked her brain to think of something. She needed to help him get the branch out so that he could at least start to heal. Stay still and don't move She said, as calmly as she could to him. She wasn't going to leave him. She went up behind him. She whimpered when she saw how bad he was hurt. I'm sorry She said softly, before she bit the end of the branch and pulled it out, trying as hard as she could to not hurt him. She was crying so hard. When she pulled it completly out, she throw it as far as she could, and she prayed that he would start to heal. She could feel his pain, so she knew what he was going through right now.

He shook his head, whimpering. When she pulled out the branch He tired standing up again, and fumbled to the ground. He glanced towards the tree... And his worst nightmares came true. leave, please Bridget Im begging you, just leave and go get help, you see that tree, thats the tree the dead branch hit, its a silver nitrate tree, its the branches my father would beat me with.... he still had the scars on his back from his father. He wouldn't be able to heal without a healer, he tried not to show weakness, but memories started to shoot through him, and the pain from the silver was too much, please Bridget he didn't want her to see him like this, it was despicable, and he knew she must be hurt by just looking at him. He didn't want her to leave, but he needed to be selfless and brave, and do what was the best for her.

Bridget was loosing it. She had no choice but to leave him. She need to find a healer. She had to svae her mate, just like he saved her from the mountain lion. Whimpered, but decided that the only way she would be able to help would be if she went looking for a healer. She came around Rider other side, and licked his muzzle. I'll be back as fast as I can. I promise She said. Her eyes were full of tears. She took a deep breath before tunring and running down the mountain as fast as she could. Her heart hurt to leave him, but it was his only chance. Her legs were aching, but she didn't stop until she saw what she was looking for.

He nodded as she left, his heart ached for her, his wolf was whimpering, but rider was just glad she left this place. Rider knew he would not heal, unless he got healed from the Luna, and why would the Luna risk his life for him? Taking on everyones burdens throughout the years really wouldn't help him now, in fact it was making him weaker, he gripped the ground with his claws... Any other healer would help him and stay quite about the Luna in front of Bridget, but rider knew it was pointless without one, and so would the healer that came.

((Im back))

((k, I'll start it off))

Bridget and a healer that she had bumped into ran up the hill. The healer, whom was named AJ (just a random name) was in human form, being pulled on her sled by Bridget. She need to be in human form to heal Bridget mate. Bridget ran as fast as she could, pulling the sled behind her. It took them at least 10 minutes to get up to where Rider was laying. AJ hoped out of the sled, and went over to Bridgets' mate. She examined his wounds while Bridget went over to Rider, and nuzzled his muzzle. You could see the worry and pain in her eyes. AJ knew that it would be very hard to save Bridget mate but she had to try. She was no Luna capable of saving a life, but she could sure try. She'd do this for Bridget. AJ put her hands on Rider wound, and concentrated on trying to close up the wound. Once she closed it completely she would have to give him an antibiotic. It would give him at least a weeks time to get professional help.

Bridgets' wolf and she were both crying. She was shaking with fear that he would not make it. She didn't leave his side as AJ tried to heal him.

Rider quietly thanked AJ, he nuzzled close to Bridget, closing his eyes, the wound started to close, and rider prayed there was no more sliver nitrate in his body. Once his wound was almost close, AJ and Bridget helped him onto the sled. He whimpered in pain at the movement, and it took everything in him not to change. Rider was grateful that AJ was willing to help, even if they were from separate packs. Although help p from AJ would be significant, rider still needed Luna help, but at least this would but him time.... Man time was a slut. The wound wouldn't close all f the way, and so again put a white bandage around the wound, and tended to the other wounds, rider was being strong for Bridget, and he was glad she was by his side.

AJ had closed up the wound as much as she could. Silver nitrate wounds were hard to heal, if not impossible.

Bridget too the lead of the sled, and started to pull it slowly. Since they were now going down the mountain, it was much harder. She didn't want to slip and let Rider get hurt even more than he already was. AJ was trying her best to help, she she couldn't shift because then she would have to help get him into the hospital, and in wolf form, that would have been really hard. Bridget was doing pretty good at heading down, until she lost her footing. AJ was able to hold the sled, but Bridget rolled down about 20 meters before coming to a stop. Panting slightly, she got up, now shaking with even more fear. She made her way up to the sled, and slowly started pulling it down again, while AJ kept it from sliding down too quickly. It took about 25 minutes, and Bridget slipping a lot, but finally they made it down the mountain. Bridget was tired byond belief, but she had to get her mate to the hospital. AJ sat in the sled beside Rider, attempting to close the wounds a bit more, while Bridget was now running to the pack hospital, ulling the sled behind her.

((Didnt show you posted!! :/ ))

Every time Bridget slipped, rider groaned and whimpered, not from his own pain, but from hers. He wanted more than anything to tell her to stop and just leave him, but he knew that she would refuse. Rider laid down his head to stop the throbbing, his throat had been healed thankfully by AJ it would t have been able to heal without her. Rider was shivering, freezing. It felt like he no longer had any fur, and when he checked to make sure he was still in wolf form, he was. Thankfully. But that was also bad.he shouldn't be so cold. When they finally reached the pack hospital rider was relieved just to get off that mountain

((Sorry so short!))

((it's okay))

Bridget practically ran over to Rider. She lay down beside him, giving his as much of her body heat to him. He was so cold. To think that just earlier this morning, they had been fine, an he had been the one keeping her warm. Aj had run inside the hospital, looking for who knows what. Bridget could bring herself to move. Not only was she in pain because of the last slip, but also because she could feel Rider slipping. She couldn't loose him. Not after just lossing her parents. He was the only one left in her life, and she could feel him slipping no matter how much she tried to help. She couldn't stop a whimper that escaped her. She was going to loose it herself soon. Right now, she was just about ready to give up her life for his.

AJ had run into the hospital to prepare a bed. If the Luna did not show up, she would have to proform a very hard surgury. She would have to physically extract the silver from his system. The ingection she had given him earlier would be only enough to slow the process, and give either her, or the Luna to help him. Either way, there was a chance that he would not make it.

There was no time to think like that though. AJ had to help Bridgets mate. She ran outside, and started pulling the sled inside the building. Bridget looked up, in a way asking if she should get up and help, but AJ shook her head as she brought the seld inside. It was time to either find the Luna, or to preform the operation.

don't worry about me, I'll be just fine Bridget. Just fine. he said. Riders wolf was going nuts, clawing away at him, it felt awful, his wolf wanted to hide, to go away, but there was no escaping death. And his wolf soon realized this and was growling at rider for being so stupid. Rider was exhausted, and his wolf wasn't helping, he wanted to shut off his worm but if he did, he would change, and thats exactly what his wolf wanted. What a coward. His wolf was such a coward.


AJ had soon come out, and was taking rider away. He looked once again at Bridget. I may feel like shit, but Im strong enough to love you Bridget, and Bridget. I love you. and that was the last thing rider said before he fell asleep.

Bridget broke down right there. She was shaking uncontrollably, and was crying her eyes out in wolf form. She couldn't do this. She couldn't. This was like her parents all over again, except this time, it was her worse fear coming to life. I love you too She cried out. She felt dizzy, as if she might be sick. She had lost herself. She was lost without him. Rider had brought true meaning back into her life, and now, she was lost in a world full of only darkness. Her heart was beating so fast, and her head hurt so much, that she just stopped fighting with herself and let go to all the pain that was trying to get to her. She let it all hit her. She felt Riders pain, Her own from worry, and from falling so many times down the mountain, the pain from her parents death, and the pain from her brother leaving her. With a last breath, the pain crushed her, and she collapsed with the last though of 'better me than him'.

Great. AJ though. Now she had two passed out wolves. She knew that Bridget would make it but was not so sure about Rider, so she took him to the operation room, while Bridget was taken to a room of her own to rest. AJ started the operation. She had to if she wanted to save Riders' life. She set him up for several blood transfusions, and started pumping his infected blood out, and the clean blood in. She cut around the infected area of all his wounds, making sure that they were completely clean, before injecting an antibiotic, and then closing up the wounds to help them heal faster. While she was doing this, Rider had an oxygen mask on, that was keeping him breathing. After 3 terrifying hours, AJ closed up his last wound. Rider had gone through 4 blood transfusions, and had taken several atibiotical injections. It was the best AJ could do. This wasn't going to keep him up for longer than a month though. Rider now had only 2 options. Either come for blood transfusions every 2 weeks, or go to the Luna. The latter would have been the better option, but that would be up to him once he woke up.

Rider was moved into a 'healing' room, where he could rest in peace. He had an IV in his wrist, that was giving him pain killers. The operation was a very tiring one for both the doctor and patient, so he would need them. AJ wrote something on a clip board that held Riders medical record, and then left in the slot on the door. Rider was being monitered every second for any signs that could mean he need the Luna right away. Either way, he would need the Luna, but the operation would give him 2 weeks of peace. AJ considered the operation a success, because Rider was still alive. Now all that was left was to get the Luna to come, and finish off the healing.

--

Bridget had been left in a room all by herself. She had shifted into human form, and changed into a pair of clothes that had been left there for her. She had tears streaming down her cheeks. She was in so much pain right now, that she could barely breathe. Recently a doctor had come to visit her to see how she had been doing. Apparently she had a very badly sprained ankle and a concussion, but other than that, she would be fine. So the pain she felt really was all from Rider. Her heart hurt just at the thought of him in the state she had last seen him. She felt like she would go crazy. They had locked her in the room, because her 'protective' instincts had kicked in and she would have been a danger to the staff. Bridget growled at the thought. Her mate might die, and they want her to stay 'calm'?? How could they possibly be so inconsiderate? They had tried to sedate her because she nearly ripped a healers arm off. He kept saying 'stay calm, everything okay, your okay, your mates okay, everything is fine'. She had been ready to kill him. She didn't need to hear those lies. She had seen Rider with her own eyes.

Images kept flashing through her mind. More tears streamed down her face. Please don't leave me She subconsciously said, her voice weak with exaughtion, worry, fear, and pain. She wolf was howling in pain due to the fact that she couldn't see Rider. For all she knew, he was still on the operating table. She shuddered, at the thought. No. He'd be okay. He had too. She lay back down on the bed and curled into a ball, crying harder than she ever had before.

(( O.O wholy crud..... sorry that it is so long...))

(Haha, its okay, I love it :) ))

After a few hours of sleep after the operation, rider woke up with oxygen tubes installed in his nostrils and arms. He had changed when he passed out, which wild be embarrassing if he hadn't been a healer himself. But now, he had a thin sheet that was a hospital gown around him. He felt weak and immobile, the healer must have given him a pain killer. Or a strong drug. He was heavily bandaged.

His first thought was Bridget. Where was she? Was she all right? What was she thinking about all this, about what he said, that he loved her? It was true he loved her, and his heart craved for her. Rider felt significantly better, he wondered for a second if AJ got a Luna, but he shook it off, if a Luna had healed him, he wouldn't need bandages and he would be on his feet right now. A nurse had come in and was pouring water at his bed side. Rider wanted to ask him where Bridget was, but his throat was dry, and he couldn't find words, and all that came out was a inhuman sound. The nurse hushed him, and held out the water for him. His hand reached out for the glass, it slipped from his hand and crashed to the floor. He sighed, keeping tears away, he couldn't even hold a glass, he must be in really horrible shape.

The nurse cleaned up the mess. Waving her hand at his attempt of an apology. She left and came back with a new glass of water and helped him to drink it. He sighed and thanked her once he found his voice. She nodded and started to leave again, but was startled when rider tried to follow her, his feet were dangling over the edge of the bed, "I want to see Bridget." Rider said croakily.

All that was on his mind was Bridget, and if the nurse refused him this, he didn't know what he would do. The nurse had most likely expected him to go right back to sleep, but he wouldn't, not without knowing Bridget was okay, and without seeing her once. He would see Bridget even if it killed him. He knew she must be alright but he couldn't get the image out of his head of her slipping on that stupid mountain, why would he be so dumb to suggest such a thing? He wanted to protect Bridget, but he seemed to get her into even more danger.

So this is what its like to be a patient for once. He didn't like it at all, he didn't want to be in this prison if a bed, of a room. For once he now knew how many if his patients felt, it was absolutely awful to be so weak. He was going to get out of this bed today, nothing would stop him, nothing at all, he slid down, and lightly put his feet on the ground, not putting any body weight on them. Slowly he added more weight until all of his weight was on his feet. He let go of the bed, slipped and fell down.

(( I can't reply now, cuz i have to go to school, but I will as soon as I get back))

((Okay))

"Please, sir. I'll get Bridget for you, just stay in bed!" The nurse cried. She helped Rider up into the bed, and put in his IV once more. It had come undone when he got up and fell.
"Please, stay in bed. You have not completed the healing process. I'll get your mate for you." The nurse repeated once more. She quickly ran out of the room, to go find out which room Bridget was staying in.

It took a while, but after going through all the files, and rooms, the nurse found Bridget’s room, and unlocked the door. She had been warned that Bridget had go crazy at one point. It was understandable considering the state that her mate was in. Unfortunately, Bridget seemed to have more problems with herself than she had let on. They had done an examination of her, and found something quite surprising. Well, several things, but thankfully, they were not life threatening. It would be up to Bridget whether or not she wanted to tell her mate. The nurse shook her head. It wasn't likely she would tell him now considering how worried and protective she will be now.

Bridget heard the door unlock, and saw a nurse walk in. She didn't bother hide the fact that she was crying. She was to weak to say anything. She had been fighting the sedation drugs, and she was sure that at one point, she'd loose, but now that the nurse was here, her hopes picked up.
"Come with me" was all the nurse said, opening the door wider.
Bridget’s' heart nearly skipped a beat. Was Rider okay? what had happened? Crazy thoughts ran through her head as she feared the worst. She was so very frightened. She followed the nurse out of her room.

The nurse took a left and a right, and a left again, as Bridget followed on her heels. Soon, they arrived to Riders' room. The nurse opened the door, to reveal Rider.

Bridget felt frozen, but at the same time completely alive. She took 5 quick steps over to him, and threw her arms around his neck, careful not to hurt him. She could barely breathe right now. Her worries were suddenly wiped away, and all that mattered was that he was alive. She started crying again, but this time, they were tears of joy. She could not believe that he was alive. Well, not that she could not believe that he was alive, but she was just so happy to see him breathing.

She buried her head in his neck breathing in his sent. Her wolf calmed down then, and stopped howling in pain and worry. Her heart was beating so very quickly, that Bridget had a feeling that it might expode in her chest.

When the nurse helped him back in bed and left, it had been the longest wait for Bridget. It felt like hours until he actually saw her walk through the door. Still the trip out of bed, even if it had been short, was very tiring. And rider was very out of breath when Bridget did come in. He imagined Bridget in so many ways right now, and he was worried that when she came in she would be bruised and heavily damaged. But he remembered her smile, and it made him melt.

As Bridget walked in an insane amount if relief washed over him, as she came to him, he held her tightly and warmly, she was all that mattered, as long as he had this moment with her, he was fine with dying, because right now they were infinite. She started to cry, and he held her tighter, crying his own soft, choked back tears. He was with Bridget, and she was happy to be with him, and that was all that mattered.

Rider gently pulled her away, far enough where he could see her face, he looked at her thoughtfully for a moment, and did the most selfish thing he has ever done, he brought her down to his lips and kissed her, is hands resting safely on her cheeks.

((Ryeleigh, I posted at new pack house))

Bridget felt her heart skip a beat. She sighed softly. Pure joy spead through her body. Now that she was finally in his arms, she felt safe.

The nurse had left them to give them their time. Soon she would have to come back to sedate them both, because they needed a lot of rest.

After a moment Bridget pulled away. "I love you too" She said softly, remembering what he had told her before he passed out. Not that she hadn't passed out after him, but still. Her eyes held such sensirity. Her cheeks were tear stained, but she didn't bother to wipe away the few tears that were still rolling down her cheeks. Bridget didn't reove her soft gave from Rider, fearing that if she did, he would disappear.

He smiled, and hugged her once more, using his thumb to softly wipe away her tears, he was overjoyed, she loved him... Thats all he ever wanted, was for someone to love him for who he was. He gave himself the pleasure of looking at her intently, she was so beautiful, and perfect to him. "Bridget If I don't make it-" his words were cut off by the nurse entering again, and he grabbed Bridget's hand protectively.

don't even think that. You WILL make it she told him, her gaze not leaving him. She finally had him back, and she was not going let him go now.

when the nurse saw them, she thought to turn away, but she had to give the report. It would be best though if his mate were not present, otherwise, in her weak condition right now, she may collapse again.
"might I have a word in private?" She asked Bridget.

Bridgets eyes widened a bit. She looked back at Rider, worry in her eyes. What was this about. Was there something that she was being kept in the dark about?

He knew it was unlikely, especially without a Luna, where was a Luna when you needed one? But of he was going to die, he might as well stop acting like it, he wanted Bridget to know something though. He sighed, that they were not yet mates and couldn't use the connection because they were also from different packs.

Rider was just as confused as Bridget he looked quizzically at the nurse. Was this about him, or her? He was glad, that if it was about him, the nurse was asking Bridget to leave, he didn't want to worry her anymore.

((sorry, I ve 4 summative assignments to do, which are each worth 30% of my mark for all 4 of my subjects.))

The nurse looked at them both. How do you tell them both completely terrible news? The nurse was sure that Rider knew about his problem, but what about Bridget. Did she know.
"Miss Bridget, AJ would like to talk to you" She said.
Bridget paled a bit. She nodded, not exactly wanting to leave Rider, but she had no choice. She kissed his cheek, and reluctantly and followed the nurse out to talk to the doctor.
*secret conversation* (she will tell him eventually)

The nurse walked back in to talk to Rider. "You know that you need the Luna right? Your mate doesn't. I recomend you tell her as soon as possible." The nurse told him. If he asked why he should tell Bridget, she had the answer.

((Your fine, I'll be on and off today, so ya.. ))

"Yes I know. Im a healer myself... How long do I have?" He would tell Bridget, but not at this moment. Not when she was already so fragile... It would be at her best... But would he be strong enough to destroy her at her best? "I can't tell her right now." He said to the nurse, a thousand thoughts running through his mind.

((Hahah, secret convo ;) ))

:P

(yeah, I better go too)

"You have 3 weeks at best. 2 weeks at worst" The nurse said. She had a bit of pity in her eyes. "ell her as soon as possible. please. Not only for your own good, but for your own as well" she added. She oped the door to leave-


'What!' Bridgets voice was heard down the hallway, shock in her voice. This could not be happening. AJ told her something wuietly, that was not heard by the nurse of Rider. Bridget suddenly felt light headed. Way to make this day worse. She left AJ in the Hallway, and returned back into Riders room. Her mind was split in so many directions. Confusion, worry, and at the same time fear could be seen in her eyes. She sat down on a chair beside him, and gave him a light smile.

He nodded at the nurse, and stretched his head, at a shout.

He looked at Bridget, with worried eyes. "Whats wrong Bridget, whats wrong?" She looked panicked, and scared, he wouldn't be fooled by that brilliant smile of hers, he could tell something was up, and he was going to get it out of her. He suddenly lost all the nerve he was working up to tell Bridget what was up with him..,

"It's nothing" She said just a tad bit too quickly. The nurse left them, seeing that this was going to be a VERY private moment. She hoped that they would fess up to each other, because it would take a lot of mental stability, and support for each other to handel what they were about to go through.

He held her hand tightly, "Bridget I know your lying... I found out some information myself... But im not telling you without you telling me." Rider said once the nurse left. "Bridget I love you, and I need you to be honest with me of you love me too..."

That hurt. Her eyes welled up. How could he say that? IF she loved him? She felt like she was being torn apart. She winced at his words. She couldn't tell him. She wasn't ready to. Bidget needed time. Call her childish, but she couldn't tell him after she nearly lost him today. No. She WOULDN'T tell him. At least not now. Her wold was whimpering in pain. At both his words, and at the news she got from the nurse. She wanted to tell him, but this wasn't the time or place. She shook her head, and looked away, not able to meet his eyes. The tears slipped free, and streamed down her cheeks. Bridget didn't have the strength to wipe them away, or the heart to look at him.

His voice came out soft, but chocked back, "Bridget, please, you can tell me. Bridget...." His words got lost in his shaking.... He suddenly couldn't breath, he felt like he was drowning. He sunk back in his bed, his grip on Bridget loosing. This was it...... Everyone else's sorrow was doing its final damage on him. And this time he didn't need to literally take Bridget's sorrow to feel it. Whether she told him or not, he was no longer dented, but broken. If felt like he had shattered into a million tiny pieces, and he couldn't put himself back together. Life.... It was hard, and even harder with everyones burdens... He was taking 'walk in someone else place' literally.

Bridget watch in horror as she felt her connection with him start to shake. It phsycally hurt, and she felt like she couldn't breath herself. She whimpers lightly, but managed to stand up. She sat down on his bed and lay down beside him. She just hugged him, making sure to carful and not hurt him anymore than he already was. She couldn't think of any other way than that to make them feel better. I'm osrry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry she kept saying.

He smiled weakly up at her, "and what have you got to be sorry for." He said croakily. He loved her, he loved everything about her, and was fine with this feeling as long as she was next to him, sending sparks throughout his whole body. He softly closed his eyes, and decided to be fair enough and tell her the news, "I have at best three weeks, and at worst two weeks...... Unless I can get a Luna, and I don't really have a clue if a Luna would risk their life for me, and I don't expect them to. I just need you to know that I love you Bridget."

She sat up when he told her this. Her eyes were wide with complete fear. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and hugged him tighter. "Don't say that. Your going to be fine. Everything is going to be okay." She said through her tears. The last time she cried this much was when she lost her family. Now, it was because she may lose the one person whom she was willing to die for. "I love you too, but listen when I say this. You are not going to die, because I am not going to let you. I wouldn't be able to live if I couldn't see you every day, or hear you telling me that you love me. You are not going to die. Everything will turn out just fine. Happily ever after right?" She asked. She was trying to keep her sobs to a mimimum, but it was rather hard.

"Oh Bridget, if only the world worked like that." He said inhaling her scent, he wasnt going Going to lie to her, she deserved better than that, and the truth was, he was going to die, and everyones sorrow buried with him. "I just want you happy." He said looking into her eyes, he wanted to know what had made her so upset, he wanted to help her, me wanted to know so he could be there for her, and say the right things.... He smoothed her hair down, he had made life easy for so many people, and the one he loved he was ruining..... 'To love is to destroy, to be loved is to be the one destroyed'. And this was destroying him, he wanted to be there every day for her, he wanted to be with her. Was he finally giving up? No, he would fight until his last breath.

Her eyes searched his. Maybe she should tell him. She took a deep breath and eventually said "I can't have pups". she had said it so very softly, that she was not sure wheter or not he heard her. Her eyes were full of pure disappointment in herself. But then again, what was she expecting after all of those years in the old house, and then all of that slipping own the mountain. "There is a 5% possiblitly, but AJ says it would be a mirical" she said, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. But now what worried her was the Rider would not want her anymore. the mating bond was present to 'create' the strongest possible pups right? That's what her parents had told her.

He hugged her, clutching her head, "I'm sorry, but we can try anyways, right? 5% chance im gonna live, 5% chance you have pups, of I live, I say we try it." He spoke softly and carefully, in a soothing tone. He loved her no matter what. And it was his fault that she couldn't have any.... Soft, chocked back tears sprang in his eyes.... It was all his fault... "Could you ever forgive me Bridget?" He said softly, he was worried that she would be mad at him for taking her on such a disastrous trip, that he mad her pull the sled, he shouldn't have.... He was so selfish, how could he not be more considerate....
"You deserve more than me, you know that Bridget." He said releasing her, looking in her eyes to read her expression."

"None of this is your fualt" She said, seeing that he was blaiming himself. "Trust me, I come from a pretty messed up past, even though most would say otherwise" She added. a few hours could hardly have brought her to this condition. It would have happened over the years. Bridget even had a good idea at what caused it. "And there is no one better out there for me than you" She said. "Don't even think about that, because no one could top you" She said.

He looked at her intently. "Okay, okay. Just... Lets always promise to be honest with each other, starting now?" He said. He himself could probably not have kids..... "We could always adopt a kid, give them a loving home." He said,he was smiling but his eyes were sad, he just wanted her happy...

"let's not think about this now" She said, her eyes soft. She knew that there would come a time for them to talk about this, but maybe not just yet. She gave him a list smile. "And I promise, to be honest with you. Even if you don't like what you hear" She half teased, trying to lighten the mood a little. She had had enough crying for today.

(I gotta go. Good night)

He smiled back at her, and softly pushed some hair from her face. "Thats all I need." He winked at her, and sighed softly, closing his eyes...... It had been.... A long day... And he was tired, and with her by his side, he could sleep, knowing she was safe and out of harms way. He loved her... He held on to her hand, and quickly slipped into a dreamless sleep..