I would like to begin by saying that, after reading your entire piece, i loved it! There were hardly any errors. How you structured your words, the emotional extent, the hook, and the parallel scenes that you strived were tender and appealing to me as the reader. I think I remember you being an author male interviewee for our group, so now of course I understand you're really good at this. One thing is, the alternate change in pronouns, and prepositions. Some sentences got almost akward because there were too long and were too fitted. Also, in some cases it was much easier to put a character name rather than their occupation (ex:brother, sister) and vice versa. Not that i was confused, but these minorities would be helped adjusted.
I'm not exactly sure the genre of this. Fantasy?Sci-fi? Keep it up. I would love to read more if you'd let me! Exactly the type of writing and gore that uplifts an audience
I'm not exactly sure the genre of this. Fantasy?Sci-fi? Keep it up. I would love to read more if you'd let me! Exactly the type of writing and gore that uplifts an audience
Merry Christmas!
~Signed Your Secret Santa