Rhyming Poets Annonymous discussion

I thought I'd kick this group off with a poem that I wrote in answer to a "why rhyme?" query.

Q & A on Rules

Q:
Oh, Classic Verse, it seems a curse
Has long consumed your heart
With rules on rhyme and time, and worse:
To confiscate your art.
Why bow you so to what you know
To be but a cheap device?
Let thoughts unfold, be uncontrolled,
And fluid form suffice.

A:
Ah, but you see, in verse I'm free
To work within the lines
Which censor ambiguity
And elevate my rhymes
To rhythmed regularity
In balanced, toned array
So I can treat upon the meat
Of what I want to say.

Janice T

I like your rhymes,
for they are
sublime.

~ Bonnie J. ~

Janice wrote: "I thought I'd kick this group off with a poem that I wrote in answer to a "why rhyme?" query.

Q & A on Rules

Q:
Oh, Classic Verse, it seems a curse
Has long consumed your heart
With rules on rhym..."

Janice:

I like your rhymes,
for they are
sublime.

~ Bonnie J. ~

Thank you Bonnie. Welcome to this group! I'll be posting more rhyming verse soon. Feel free to do likewise, again, as you explore writing in rhyme. Thanks for the rhyming accolade!

~Janice T~

Since this group is still new, hence a bit sparse, I will be posting more of my rhyming verses while I wait to see your additions. Here is an excerpt from my book - Echoes, Neo-Victorian Poetry:

Twist

A slender man ignores the damp,
That permeates an upper room,
With not but an old oil lamp
To keep at bay the London gloom.

His fixed intent and form are bent
Upon the timepiece in his hand.
Small tools he plies to this device
With more than skill at his command.

Soon comes a sigh to signify
That his repairs are now complete
He notes the face but not the time
And takes another sip of tea.

BITTERNESS – THAT BEASTLY CURSE!
© All Rights Reserved

Bitterness! You beastly curse,
That has searched my heart so long!
Persistent in your evil desire,
To hurt and do me wrong!

And also capture my loved ones,
For you seek to hurt them too!
Oh bitterness, you beastly curse,
I truly do hate you!

Like a raging war, I’ll fight you,
And never let you stay!
My heart protected by God’s Love,
You’ll never have your way!

Though constantly you try
To bring me to my knees,
I have great strength against you,
And you, I’ll never please!

I’ve seen the damage you can do
To a bitter and twisted soul!
No! You won’t take hold of my heart,
For love is still my goal!

And love to me and from me,
Has strength you’ll never conquer,
Because, LOVE’S A MIGHTY FORCE!
Yes bitterness, I am stronger!

(Written ~ 1997)

I enjoyed reading this direct assault on Bitterness, which you beautifully personified. You didn't wallow in the elements of Bitterness, but rather capitalized on your intense struggle with it.

Would you consider, tho, replacing "capture" with "seize" in your 5th line? It would even out your meter there, I think. Just a thought.

You lead in directly, fight a good fight, and then end this poem with a strong, dynamic resolution. Nicely done!

Janice:

I was thinking on your "Twist" poem
a swap out (perhaps) of "an old" to
"a vintage" as in, this would even
out the line with the others and
replace the sound of an "o" with
another "o" as in old oil. It
might sound better, but not sure.
What do you think? ~ Bonnie ~

~
This is a contemporary poem, that is non-fiction (Los Angeles, California) :

~ 27 Club ~

Joplin and Hendrix
Morrison and Cobain
all belonged to
the "27 Club" but
here is what's insane
They all died, I fear
in their 27th year!

bonnie j. flach (c)
written 1-25-13

~

Panayiota

You wrote an excellent poem, honestly much better than I could have done. This is just a suggest
for the line: "I truly do hate you!"
What do you think of a swap out of the line above
with "hate you, I truly do!"

Just a thought.

~ Bonnie~

Bonnie,

They all died, I fear
in their 27th year!

I fear sounds a little weird to me, like maybe they might not have died in their 27th year.

Janice wrote: "I enjoyed reading this direct assault on Bitterness, which you beautifully personified. You didn't wallow in the elements of Bitterness, but rather capitalized on your intense struggle with it.

W..."

Yes... seize would do well there... thank you Janice

Bonnie wrote: "Panayiota

You wrote an excellent poem, honestly much better than I could have done. This is just a suggest
for the line: "I truly do hate you!"
What do you think of a swap out of the line above
..."

Thanks so much Bonnie, I also like that idea very much, but with an added "I"... "I hate you, I truly do!" What do you think?

I would LOVE to have more help like this with other poems of mine, but I KNOW I won't have time to read through all of yours and give my opinion... so I don't think it's fair that I continue here, but wish you all the best. I have so much to do... and so little time... could I ask that perhaps I only share the poems that will be included in my book for you all to help me with please, even though I cannot return the favour on your poetry... that would really be helpful.

Love, Pan.

Thank you, Pan. I sooo understand. Feel free to stop in here if/when time allows. Meanwhile, see you in the World of Poets group.

Love, Janice

Eating Light Poetry


You like your poems funny, short and sweet.
Like a Hershey Kiss instead of meat.
An appetizer of words that rhyme.
Not overcooked prose that takes up time.
So enjoy this nibble,this little taste
of this shortest poem I wrote in haste.

http://www.amazon.com/Daniel-Klawitte...

Janice wrote: "Thank you, Pan. I sooo understand. Feel free to stop in here if/when time allows. Meanwhile, see you in the World of Poets group.

Love, Janice"

Hi Janice,
You didn't make it clear if I could share my poems with you and other's here for review, even if I know I'm unable to return the favour on yours or other people's poems due to being so busy with life.

I handed my book in on the 11th November for editing. My supervisor will be editing as she has experience in that field. But there is still time to have help with my poems before my book is published and I would really love that if it's ok with you and the other members here. I need all the help I can get.

Please let me know if that's ok, or would you prefer it to work both ways.
Love, Pan.

Daniel wrote: "Eating Light Poetry

You like your poems funny, short and sweet.
Like a Hershey Kiss instead of meat.
An appetizer of words that rhyme.
Not overcooked prose that takes up time.
So enjoy this nibb..."

I love your little nibble of a poem Daniel, you made me laugh. Thank you.

I love rhyme so it's good to have a group like this. One issue: can we correct the group name to "anonymous". That extra "n" reminds me too much of the poetry submission I once saw that said no "ryhming". Anyways - I might as well contribute a poem I wrote at the end of last year:


Poetry is Alive

I wanted to bring you flowers
But I couldn’t find your tombstone
I searched through ivory towers
Where they said you once frequented
I felt so alone
I went home instead

I could not find you on the news
It’s like you never existed
Your epic image scarcely viewed
Your popularity was lost
My heart is twisted
Binding up in knots

We last saw you at Thoreau’s pond
You were lying in Leaves of Grass
Your heartbeat was completely gone
We heard the wolves starting to Howl
We thought you had passed
Your pallbearers scowled

They drug you into The Waste Land
Dug a grave under a dung heap
The stench was more than we could stand
So we left and assumed you died
Left you there to steep
Somehow you survived

I found you standing in a field
You’ve become a tree taking root
Fertilized and ready to yield
You’re alive and your spirit burns
Ready to bear fruit
Ready to return

Kristopher, I really enjoyed you Poetry is Alive' poem. Sadly, I fear that as an art-form, true poetry is lost.
There are plenty of I-net places that welcome and encourage prose poems and free verse, but almost none that promote rhyme and meter. There is hostility toward the old ways. Writing a good sonnet or villanelle takes a powerful and patient mind, something which is lacking of late. ' Stream of consciousness blather' will never replace rhyme and meter on the scale of meaningful achievement. Thanks for posting, Chris

The Tree of Sorrows

Past death, it has been said, men have a choice.
Upon a tree, there hangs the tortured strife
and miseries of men, to which a Voice
invites each soul to trade his tattered life
and walk about, perusing all the aches
of other men who've hung their burdens up.
And all are bid to shoulder those mistakes
of brother men, and drain the bitter cup
of that man's jilted hopes and sad laments.
So, free to trade for other's ills and woes,
it's said, that each will choose his own torments
preferring pain he knows, to friend or foes.
This parable should serve those who complain,
the grief we know deflects yet greater pain.

One bright spot, once something gets published on the web it can never be lost, maybe settle out of sight under layers of carefully contrived public settlement made of posts, news, recipes and sealing wax, but still visible to the thoughtful search. Keep on publishing.

I've written a narrative poem that rhymes it's 67 pages long. It's also in Iambic pentameter. It's about a priest who goes to hell and narrates the end of everything--dramatically of course.

Here's an excerpt:

Then the boy walked in. My eyes wet
With unscrupulous tears; wet still.
Drowned were his hands of long thick sweat,
Drowned was his skin of soft appeal.

I melted with hot hands his waxy clothes,
His touch was cold in unfaithful balance,
I moved slow, still moving, an’ like a cloud rose
Slow out this wrinkled coil with bare in stance;

I spread his expectant air with’n my lungs
And dripped off quick this long priestly attire,
I cradled in my hand the course that stung
As I made my purple conscience retire;

As a calm breeze I moved him left and right,
I filled my mouth zephyr’s substance an’ blew
The docile form in flesh and skin borne tight,
A new leaf bending beneath my peach hue;

I took deep grips in th’ pubescent figure,
With such staff made my dauntless pilgrimage;
Falling fast to th’ dark shrine of my pleasure,
To peal th’ sheep skin in burning fat homage;


If you enjoy it the rest is on Amazon under 'Finibus'--its $4.50 for an ebook, and $6 for print! Here's a link:

http://www.amazon.com/Finibus-Jonas-P...

--Jonas