Just the Way YOU are! discussion

Here you can share your story about obstacles you have overcome and obstacles you are working on beating if u don't want to post this to the whole group feel free to send me or any other mod a private message about your story we'd love to hear! Love u guys!

For my whole life, I have been incredibly different. I see the world in a different way then most people do, I think.
I am bothered by noise. Everything is uncomfortable. I am picky and obstinate and my mind is crazy. I can't concentrate.
Looking up the characteristics of autism, I find that they are the characteristics of my being. I have never been officially diagnosed. But I am.
I have gotten straight As throughout schooling, but as I get older i find that concentrating and working and cooperating become harder and harder until I'm pushed into far too much exertion.
I have always done well in the area of writing and I have a creative mind. From an early age I have expressed myself through fantastical stories and poems and ideas that take away the pain of my life.
Around February of this year, 2013, I became interested in photography. I was terrible at it. I have had enough practice by now that I am satisfied with my effort. Photography brings me joy.
I quote everything. I annoy people with this by accident. I don't understand when i am supposed to not say something. I don't realize that it will hurt. I can't tell.
I become obsessed with simple things. I like the sound of even breathing in a quiet room, the way I can lay and watch the world stand still. I like the sound of gentle wind outside that creates a melody only I can comprehend. I become obsessed with counting freckles and listening to silence.
I don't understand a lot of things because of autism. So I get offended easily and, over time, my feelings of self worth have been reduced to almost nothing. I have been called fat by my closest relatives. I have been called amateur and fake and useless, a faggot, a freak, and more. I am misunderstood for my intentions.
I like the way breathing sounds.
I remember when my classmate called me a freak. I said no. I wasn't. She insisted. Freak. Freak, she said. Over and over and that night I sobbed into my pillow and I hurt.
I have a love hate relationship with my brother. One minute we will be talking amiably and the next he will be accusing and angering and confusing to me and mean. So mean. And it hurts. It hurts when someone I love a lot calls me fat and stupid and useless and weak and retarded.
My father is bipolar. He is nice sometimes and I love him but he is always pushing me into doing things I hate, things that make me frustrated and stressed and messed up. He makes me do sports. He makes me do things I hate.
I have a lot of stresses.
My mother means well but is not cautious about her words. She constantly teases and criticizes until i feel worthless. She doesn't know anything.
My little brother is my favorite family member. I love him. He doesn't talk well yet and he doesn't understand but sometimes he makes the differences in my world.
I start school again soon and I dread it. I dread hearing my friends joke about things they don't understand, like suicide and self harm. They don't know. They haven't held a blade to their skin like I have. They haven't gazed at a bottle of pills and cried themselves to sleep endlessly. They haven't dealt with insomnia and worrying about weight. They haven't felt as useless as I have. They don't understand.
It's okay though.
I have to deal with things and hope they turn out okay. I have to deal with my stresses. It's okay.
I'm not asking for pity because I'm sure my life is easy compared to yours. I'm okay.
But I don't think I will ever climb completely out of the whole that is depression.

And that isn't even the half of it.

I'm so sorry. I will always here if you need anything. Please talk to me when you get an urge to self harm and I will try my best to help you.

oh my God. That's awful. No one should be treated like that. I swear. I want to go out and hurt those 'friends' at your school, and I want to tell everybody to lay off you. That's horrible. Seriously, that's so horrible, I started crying reading that. I'm so sorry that you have to live like that. I know you said you don't want pity. I'll try not to give you pity, but maybe I can give you a friend who will never say any of that to you ever.
And you are a beautiful writer, I swear. That was written so well and beautifully, even though it's just something you typed up and posted probably without any effort. Silence is all we need sometimes.

Gabrielle you are not worthless. Believe me. And I love you and you're such a good writer and you're so strong to go through all that. Please believe me.

Mac: thank you. I'm actually almost two months clean from cutting, woohoo! Thanks. I appreciate it.

Dominique: oh my gosh ilysm. Thank you so much for your comments. They made my day. I really appreciate that you care.

Wow guys you hav accomplished a lot and I'm always here for u

@Gabrielle,
You're welcome. I'm so proud of you <3

Mac: (:

well I have been cutting since middle school (I am currently in 10th) have had eating issues since I was very young. I have Autism and depression and anxiety attacks. I have been bullied my whole life. I have tried to kill myself 3 times. I once went to a hospital for therapy and stuff. I cannot talk to people I do not know or make eyes contact with others. I despise my family and I have a lot of pets. I push people away a lot and I say a lot of mean things I do not mean...... (will continue later)

@Gabrielle, you are welcome but it's all very true and don't you forget it! I love you so much too, and I am always here (literally I'm always here lol) for you, and it doesn't even have to be about anything if you talk to me. If you're bored you could just message me 'whassup' and I will probably answer. If you want someone to squeal to about a book or character or movie or band or guy than I'm your girl. I swear. I love you to pieces, all of you, and I am always here for every one of you.

@Yoite, oh my goodness, that's so sad! Please don't cut yourself, please please, I know there are times when it seems like you want to die and you truly believe that life is not worth it, but please, all of you, that is so so sad, you should not do that. You are all so wonderful and have worth beyond belief so don let anyone (including you) tell yourself that you are worthless and if they do do not believe them, because they are so dead wrong! Trust me on this guys, I love you, and your stories bring tears to my eyes.


If you ever wanna talk or just wanna chill feel free to message me and I will be there, and I will be here on these threads, and I am here on this earth, so remember that, that I am here and I love you and care about you and don't want you to be hurt.

Dominique; again, thanks so much. That is very nice of you. (: and it really does mean a lot to me.

Yoite; I'm so sorry. That must be hard. I'm here for you if you want to talk or you need advice or something. I care about you. I'm praying for you.

thanks ^^

I'm praying for all of you. You're angels and gifts from God, and He has given you gifts too, such as your writing and photography and words and hearts and souls and your life. God bless all of you and I'm praying for you.

Yoite,
I'm sorry. I'm always gonna be here for you too. I've been praying for you.

thanks

You're welcome.

Hi Gabrielle i'm so sorry for everything you've been through you are so brave and you're an amazing writer i wish i was as good as you stay strong and feel free to message me any time

Yoite please don't try to kill yourself its not the right thing to do if you want to talk just message me and i'll listen

Dominique your comments are so loving and sweet can i add you as a friend

Thanks Fatima, that's really nice of you. (:

Yes of course Fatima, thank you <3

I believe in u all! Love u guys

Love ya Sydney <3

Wow, hearing (reading lol) these stories and reading all of these encouraging comments makes me love all of you even more than I already do. You are all so amazing and everything that you guys have been through has made you so much stronger. You guys are great inspiration to me and I believe you can all overcome anything <3

I couldn't have said it better myself Sierra I'm glad ur back

Thanks Syd :) I'm glad to be back.

I will post my story when I have a little more time.

Gabrielle wrote: "For my whole life, I have been incredibly different. I see the world in a different way then most people do, I think.
I am bothered by noise. Everything is uncomfortable. I am picky and obstinate ..."

Brought tears to my eyes Im crying now...

Thank you for sharing that... I may be late but Id talk to you anytime okay?

I may also write My "story" but my life's pretty boring. Everything that makes me sad is pretty pathetic.

Thank you, Katelyn. I really appreciate it.

Except bullying. I mean not others bullying me but like when I see bullying and cyber-bullying.... Im sensitive and I cry and then try to hide it so my family doesn't worry...
andyways sorry for spamming this.

My story is pretty boring too...XD Well at least what I'd be willing to tell is.

I don't think yours would be boring though Katelyn. It's nice that you care for people who are bullied/cyberbullied :)

Same here, Sierra.

I have a hard time opening up about things that have happened in my life. I hate it :/

I can open up to people but not to large groups

Yeah...

:/

Sierra wrote: "I have a hard time opening up about things that have happened in my life. I hate it :/"

I can open up to people easily. Except only people that I will probably never meet and cant see their face, like on GR. Otherwise I don't open up about anything. To anyone. ANymore...

Same here. It takes me a while though. Some of the things for me are...Idk. Embarrassing but not really...it's hard to explain. Just things that have happened in my family and with my friends...

If you ever need to talk, you can talk to me :)

Yeah I get it. And thanks :) You too

Thanks:) I'm here if any of you ever need anything.

Yeah. I have some embarrassing crap too.

Thanks guys :) It just feels weird for me sometimes...I don't want to just randomly message somebody and be like "Hey, listen to all my problems" yeah...

That's how I am. If you did that to me, I wouldn't really mind. Nothing really phases me anymore

I wouldn't mind either, but it still seems weird.

Yeah, I agree.

Yeah :/

*sighs*