Net Work Book Club discussion

I've read a sample and wanted to read further,have contacted Serena,she will send me a book.

So bad it was funny...

I'd be more than happy to elaborate as it seems you have not read the review I posted on here......it is also posted on Amazon.co.uk (my name on Amazon is Jood), but I have copied and pasted it for you. Also, I am aware that "someone wrote that book", but I have not "trashed" it "senseless" but given an honest review after reading it. Anyway here it is:

I must point out that I was approached by the author to read and review this book when it was a free Kindle download. Apparently she spent seven years writing it, so obviously it has been a labour of love.

The story revolves around Serena, a young, naïve and impressionable girl who secures a job as a live-in nanny....this without any discussion as to wages or hours and without a glimpse of the room she is to occupy or the child in her charge. The job is in a large Victorian house, 36 Marguerite Avenue; there is obviously Something Creepy going on because number 34 seems not to exist, but 32 is there in all its glory. The Hartreve family, for whom Serena works, is totally dysfunctional with odd, unlikeable, characters, none of whom seem welcoming....that is, until she meets Seb and almost immediately hops into bed with him. The chapters about Serena alternate with chapters set in 1892 when Tristan and Miranda Whitestone lived next door at number 34, the Creepy House. The Whitestones become involved with their somewhat glamorous and eccentric neighbour Lucinda Eden, nee Hartreve, estranged from her, apparently, unsavoury husband, Alfonso who has run off with a younger floozy.

The characters are one-dimensional, unsympathetic and unlikeable. Beth, child for whom Serena was employed is an outrageously precocious four year old, and even though it is acknowledged that this is so, it does not sit well. Had the child been, say six or seven years old, then maybe she would have been more believable, but then would there have been the need for a nanny?

The dialogue is just so cheesy in its awfulness ".......But I'm afraid you'll have to leave soon as I'm already rapidly falling in love with you......." is just one example of far too many to record. The narrative suffers from a similar fate "...her eyes slipped down his arm to find a glass of brandy cupped in his hand..." ...this had me falling off my chair laughing, as did the woman who is described as having "arms like succulent sausages". Whilst dancing the tango we have this gem...."he saw his mother's face glide startlingly close to her partner's groin", and one of the best "Tears, happy tears, forged canyons down my cheeks" Oh please! These are just a few of the examples; if I were to write them all I would reproduce almost the whole book. I, like other reviewers, found myself re-reading sections of this as I couldn't quite believe what I was reading! The characters don't SIT on chairs, they perch. Faces, noses and eyes are often screwed up - not just wrinkled, and we even have Beth who can curl her nose into a button mushroom! There's also a great deal of cringing and wincing.

The author seems to have taken a Jackson Pollock approach to writing this - throwing everything at it in the hope that some of it will magically make a readable novel. There is absolutely nothing new in this novel; it has all been done before and so much better. I actually wondered who the target readership was for this. Was it maybe meant as a comedy? Is it teenage fiction? It's hardly a good old Bodice Ripper or Ripping Yarn. Spine-tingling, creepy, Gothic it ain't.

I am astonished at the number of rave reviews, but also notice that many of these are simply one or two lines long. Surely if a book is worthy of 5 stars it is worthy of more that one line?

If I hadn't been asked by the author to read this book I would have given up at about the 15% mark and deleted it from my Kindle. I can honestly say I have never read anything quite like this before.

Thanks Joodith, I love the bit about the arms like succulent sausage.

I have to agree with Joodith about the right to review with your honest opinion. It might not be what the author wants to hear - but if people only give positive reviews for fear of upset - then it will give the writer only what he wants to hear - and not what would be good to improve his writing technique. It has also to be remembered, that this is only 1 person's opinion.... people have different expectations and if they usually read books by top class authors - their expectations will be very high. If, at the time of being asked to review, you were also asked to take into account, that this was a new author, looking to improve - then perhaps it could be toned down a tad. However, if it's out there, expecting people to pay to read it - it needs to have reached, at least, a reasonable standard. I have not read this book, so my comments are based solely on the right to write honest reviews - as long as they are not abusive or personally aimed at the author.