The Writer's Cafe discussion

Post a link to your story/a part of it here (please take up no more than two posts) and me, a mod, or someone else is sure to give you feedback on it! :)

Have you ever been outside and felt like someone was watching. Have you ever been alone at home and thought someone was outside. If you have you were right. That person outside, that person watching you. When you feel the hairs on your neck stand up. When you get goose flesh. You will know I am there in the shadows. Watching you waiting for you to let your guard down. So that I may let you be a honored guest in my club. Do you want to know the club I speak of. We'll it's a prestigious club with only the select few getting in. If you want to be in this club all you have to do is give me your life.

It's not a bad premise, although I have to admit that I have no idea of where you would go with it, since you're starting out from the watcher's point of view. Also, I'd suggest working on your punctuation, as there were enough errors to actually make parts of it hard to understand - such as questions that don't end in question marks, etc. But that would really be for an editing stage anyway.