Writers and Readers discussion

It's December and time to discuss our book, If I Stay by Gayle Forman. As before we'll start out by posting our overall impression of the book and then move on to posting discussion questions or points of interest you'd like to dissect. Also, since the book (at least my copy did) included it's own discussion questions, feel free to use those.

I'll be moderating the discussion, to keep it on topic as much as possible and to keep it civil.

My impressions:

This isn't the type of book I usually read but I enjoyed it. It was well written and for the most part I felt it engaged me as a reader on an emotional level. I did feel some of the hospital scenes with Adam trying to gain entrance to the ICU were a bit melodramatic and overdone, though.

I agree some of the hospital scenes were a bit juvenile, but then I think the novel was aimed at a young adult audience.

I did enjoy it too, and I'm glad we chose this because I probably would not have continued reading after the first few chapters if I was reading on my own because I thought some of the 'flashback' portions were overly long "back story dumps". I found it frustrating, I think because I wanted to know what Mia's fate was.

I think the backstory portions became more seamless and easier to 'stay in' -- or I just got used to them.

I think the author did a wonderful job with bringing the characters to life and engaging me emotionally.

I also like the car accident scene, which I found sudden, violent and shocking. I thought she did really well with that without relying on gore which I don't enjoy.

I enjoyed the book too. I didn't have a problem with the juvenile parts as it is a YA book, but some of the back story was a bit unnecessary. For instance: how her and her best friend, Kim, meet and become friends.

When I read the beginning, my jaw dropped twice. First when the author was describing what happened to the car after the truck plowed into it. The second time was when I was reading the part where Mia found her father and I came to this sentence: “Pieces of my father’s brain are on the asphalt.” I was immediately horrified.

I think Gayle Forman did an amazing job describing the surgery and what it’s like being a patient in ICU.

There was one thing that bothered me though (not enough to put me off however) . .. I noticed some spelling errors/missing words in the text. Did anyone else notice this?

I didn't notice an spelling errors or missing words in my copy

Liz wrote: "I didn't notice an spelling errors or missing words in my copy"

That's interesting. I jotted down an example:

Pg. 63 “The dealer looked at me, then at mom, who returned his mildly suspicious glance with a look sharp enough to cut diamonds followed by a smile more brilliant that any gem.”

“that any gem” should read "than any gem".

There was a couple more spelling errors and missing words that I saw before and after this too. *shrugs* But even with these slight mistakes I still enjoyed the story and thought the author wrote exceptionally well.

Chrys wrote: "Liz wrote: "I didn't notice an spelling errors or missing words in my copy"

That's interesting. I jotted down an example:

Pg. 63 “The dealer looked at me, then at mom, who returned his mildly sus..."

You're right, but I didn't notice that until you mentioned it. You have a sharper eye than me, I guess.

I have to agree with you two, the car accident scene was quite riveting reading.

I didn't mind the flashbacks, in fact I enjoyed the contrasts between the past and the present; I thought it gave a certain pathos and tension to her "choice", and I thought the tone hit the right note for a YA book. The main problem I had with the Adam/ICU scenes was the unbelievability of the character's actions. It read more like a sitcom scenario than an actual real life situation to me.

You're right, A.F., the ICU scene with Adam breaking in did read like a sitcom and was unrealistic, but I still thought it was funny. :P

One of the flashbacks that I liked was the birth of Teddy. I thought it was wonderfully written. It was funny at times and heart-wrenching because we just found out Teddy died and then we witness his birth where the first person he sees is Mia. I thought for sure she would decide to leave after she found out Teddy didn't survive.

And I think the most intense moment from a flashback was when everyone was talking about how they imagined their funerals. This line made me tear up: “In fact, mama bear would be absolutely furious with the way events are unfolding today.”

First and foremost, thank you for this discussion group - it's the first one I've joined and I don't think I ever would have picked the book if it hadn't been for the group. On some of the flashbacks that seemed overly long, if it hadn't been for the discussion, I probably would have lost attention and had trouble coming back to the book.

As others mentioned, I had to keep in mind that it was for Young Adults and I tried to read it with that headset. Loved the way the accident was handled and how she came to realize what had happened to her and her family.

Here are two questions for readers:
1. How did you feel about the ending? Who thought she was going to decide to stay? Or go?
2. Did anybody else wish the author had written more about Mia's discovery process of the limitations/advantages of being about of body?

Glenn wrote: "First and foremost, thank you for this discussion group - it's the first one I've joined and I don't think I ever would have picked the book if it hadn't been for the group. On some of the flashba..."

I did feel the "out of body" experience could have been explored more. It did hang a bit as a plot gimmick, as opposed to being fully integrated into the storyline. It could have made a very interesting sub-plot.

I thought the ending could have gone either way, and I felt the author did a nice job of keeping the reader guessing.

I agree. The author could've done a lot more with the outer body experience and made the story even more interesting.

Glenn, I liked the ending. I loved that we weren't sure if she was leaving or staying until she squeezes Adam's hand. Like in my earlier comment, I thought for sure she'd leave after Teddy died. At the same time though, I knew she'd stay.


Book Club Readers: There is a sequel to this book called "Where She Went". I was reading some reviews and a lot of people say it's better than the first. Would anyone be interested in reading the sequel outside of the book club?

Chrys wrote: "I agree. The author could've done a lot more with the outer body experience and made the story even more interesting.

Glenn, I liked the ending. I loved that we weren't sure if she was leaving or..."

I read a bit of the sequel's preview, and it did look interesting.

I was a bit surprised by the ending. First I thought she was leaning toward going. She seemed to be distancing herself from her life and really feeling how painful it would be to stay. Second, my copy of the book also had the addenda, which I did not realize was not part of the novel. So I was surprised that the story ended where it did.

On the out of body experience, I suppose she could have done more, but I think it would have taken away from the emotional/autobiographical aspect of the novel.

I actually thought the "I get to decide if I stay or if I go . . ." was the flimsy part. It really had no development except that the 'nurses get it' which I don't buy either. (I agree that nurses will speak to a comatose patient and rally them on, but I don't think that is enough to hang a novel on.)

Liz wrote: "I was a bit surprised by the ending. First I thought she was leaning toward going. She seemed to be distancing herself from her life and really feeling how painful it would be to stay. Second, m..."

Yes, the magical insight of the nurses seemed a bit convenient. I would have liked to have seen more confusion on Mia's part as to what was happening and how to resolve it.

I've started to read yesterday and am 74% in now. I have to say I quite enjoy it so far, I like the way it is written and this idea of her being detatched from her body and all that. But one thing that sometimes annoys me/is a bit boring are the overly long flashbacks. Most of them are really nice but some are too long and not that interesting to read.
Unfortunately I've made the mistake of looking at the sequel and accidentally reading the first line of the synopsis, which means that I basically spoild the end for myself but it's okay, I'll still continue reading.

Alice wrote: "I've started to read yesterday and am 74% in now. I have to say I quite enjoy it so far, I like the way it is written and this idea of her being detatched from her body and all that. But one thing ..."
I also found out there was a sequel. I should not have read the description. It left me knowing what Mia had decided. I would rather have not known until I finished "If I Stay". Prior to reading the spoiler, I had no idea what Mia was going to choose.
I thoroughly enjoyed the book. (I will post a review shortly.) I did notice the missing and misspelled words, but was able to skim past them.
I thought the scene in the ICU with Adam was kind of funny, but it seemed believable because he was an up and coming rock star. It seemed plausible that he would try most anything to get to Mia. The only thing I was skeptical of was that a true star would go out on a limb for Adam when she barely knew him and she didn't know Mia at all.
I'm very glad to have read "If I Stay". It will stay with me for a very long time.

I really enjoyed "If I Stay". I listened to it on an audio book and the reader added a level of poignancy and intimacy to the story. I loved Mia and wanted to know if she was going to survive. She and her boyfriend were mature, interesting characters. Some of the plot, getting into the hospital, seemed artificial but not enough to ruin my commitment to the book. It was deeply emotional and a little hard to take at times.

Okay, let's post a discussion question: Discuss the meaning of "sacrifice" and "choice" as it pertains to the book. How do you think they differ, how are they similar?

Here's another discussion question. Would your response to the story been different if Mia died?

I think my response would've been different. Mia not dying at the end gave the book a much needed happy ending that I was hoping for, so if she had died I would've been upset. Her death at the end also would've made the whole story seem so much darker than it already was. While her death would've made a bigger impact at the end, I personally don't believe as many people would've liked the book as they did when she survived.

Everyone loves a happy ending. Except me, I suppose because my response wouldn't have been different. I think the author did a wonderful job of creating a character and breathing life into her. Since the book was about that life and her attachment to and love for it, it would not have changed my opinion because those things were still valid.

To me the whole gist of the book was, "What is Mia more attached to?" Life with her family? Or life in general (life with Adam)?

I have to admit that as a 'middle aged(ugh!)' person, I had that little voice in my ear saying, "First love, might not last." So I don't know if I'm interested in the follow up novel.

I think if I had been given the idea that Mia would have suffered a great deal and had her dreams crushed if she lived, I would have been comfortable with her death. However, it would be very difficult to write without being maudlin or religious.

A.F. wrote: "Liz wrote: "I was a bit surprised by the ending. First I thought she was leaning toward going. She seemed to be distancing herself from her life and really feeling how painful it would be to stay..."

The ending, to me, was my favorite part. I like how it was handled. I was curious how others experienced it. Thank you all for your feedback!

A.F. wrote: "Okay, let's post a discussion question: Discuss the meaning of "sacrifice" and "choice" as it pertains to the book. How do you think they differ, how are they similar?"

To me, both are a choice. One chooses to make the sacrifice or one chooses not to. They make the sacrifice because it either fits their worldview system of who they are or they believe they will gain something by it - both positive or negative / reward or punishment. The human conditioning is quirky that way.

Curious about everyone else's thoughts on the subject...

Excuse my muddled 40-year-old Latin knowledge, but doesn't sacrifice derive from "holy burden?" So there would be something spiritual about making a sacrifice. A choice could be quite mundane. Also, a sacrifice for me implies giving something up -- perhaps an enemy's life (i.e. let someone ELSE pay the cost of holiness -- evil chuckle).

Some interesting thoughts from everyone on the questions.

I think the ending could have gone either way, and still kept with the theme of the book, but the happier outcome was probably more in tune with the YA genre of the novel.

I think the two main areas of sacrifice and choice come down to Mia and Adam. Mia has to make a choice to live or die; very plain. Adam influences that choice by being unwilling to sacrifice her to death, to let her go (in contrast to her Grandfather, who is willing to make that sacrifice). That's my view anyway.

Well, it has taken me a while to get a handle on the "Sacrifice" question. At first nothing came to me.

The real sacrifice I see, is the one Adam is willing to make in terms of his aspirations as a rock musician.

He decides that having her with him is more important than his 'career'. He is willing to make that sacrifice, If She Stays. He realizes how much he loves her, and he has reached that painful land of compromise. He will follow her to NY when she goes to Julliard and sacrifice his present success with his band.

Mia will make a sacrifice either way.

Since the holidays are fast approaching I want to post a final question to this thread before the discussion ends.

If you were Mia, and in her situation, would you have had the strength to stay or would you have left to be with your family?

Chrys wrote: "Since the holidays are fast approaching I want to post a final question to this thread before the discussion ends.

If you were Mia, and in her situation, would you have had the strength to stay or..."

An interesting, and difficult, question. I probably would have fought to stay, because I'm stubborn and ornery.

Although it would be hard to grieve my family, I think I would stay because I'm stubborn too, and also because there are things I'd want to do. People who are dying often wish they could've done certain things (have children, get married, do this or that) and having the choice to stay, live, and do those things is literally a miracle.

If you enjoyed the book, I recommend Where She Went. I read it this summer, and it's from Adam's point of view. Interesting! I cried at the end, not to give it away, but I recommend reading it soon after you're done. I waited awhile and had to review If I Stay a moment. I wrote a review after I read that book too. https://www.goodreads.com/review/show... writing! Happy New Year.

Catherine wrote: "If you enjoyed the book, I recommend Where She Went. I read it this summer, and it's from Adam's point of view. Interesting! I cried at the end, not to give it away, but I recommend reading it soon..."

I plan on reading Where She Went soon. :) Adam's point of view will be interesting.