Young Writers discussion
Dystopia
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Beyond Recall
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I will probably put in better names for The kingdom and The Nation but for now these will be the temporary names.
My only ? is, who is the main character? R we dealing with one of the old soldiers who is a rebel, or a high-up in girl The Kingdom, or both? Maybe they fall in love? It sounds as if u have a really great structure but who's gonna b the person we "fall in love with" per say?
Did you read the story? The main character is male. I wasn't planning on having a love but maybe I'll consider it.
Oops! I'm sorry, I totally didn't c the link, I apologize. Here, I'll read it and get back 2 u
Ok, I have now read it and honestly say I love it. One of the only things I would do is add more time in there. So basically what I mean is I think it would be a little more realistic if Wolf two didn't immediatly question the system. I mean, they can do a memory wipe so they probably could install undying loyalty in their soldiers. Then, you could show just how high his IQ is by having him be so smart that his brain begins to fight back at the foreign material in his head. Also, one last thing; have everyone be a little meaner, all the adults I mean. Because in the real military they rlare ridiculously hard on their recruits. They yell at them, call them names, wake them up at 4 in the morning amd they can't go to bed till eleven. They have what they call a Beast Week where they have to survive out in the wilderness. Also, they have to go into a gas chamber so that they know what breathing in toxic gas feels like amd when to put on their masks. So, all I have to say is: be mean. Otherwise, I can't wait to read more
Thanks, I'll think on making those changes. I agree a longer time space would be better.
Ok so this is my description.......
It's the year 2,983 the earth has gone from the stone age, after World War Three broke out, To an earth bent on surviving.
The shattered world has divided into three divisions.
The Nation, a cruel country who think the only way to survive is to ensure there is no opposition.
The Kingdom, Who think that a rigid class system is the only way to control.
And the broken country, now shattered by the Nation, it's only survivors are rebels who have no morels and are bent on revenge.
The world has recovered fast and is now in the middle of another World War at first they fought with weapons made from scraps of information left over from the old world, but now they have developed new weapons. And new ways to control.
I hope you'll read this and tell me what is wrong. Also please tell me a better name for the book.