Author Support Group discussion

Ok, we are human, right? Sometimes we just need to vent, right? This is the thread for that. This is not the thread for complaints about the group itself or even group members. This is for complaints about Amazon, negative reviews, family members who just don't understand, children who never listen...I think you get my drift.

Vent away but keep it clean. :o)

I'll start. Amazon. That's it. Just Amazon. (Most of you know exactly what I'm talking about.)

Yes Jaimey, this thread is needed my friend. I would like to vent about family who do not understand...This is a life style change. Who knew? I did not just enter some junior high writing contest... my work is being exposed internationally. That is intimidating, I'm sorry. I feel like I am working a full time job with just one book! I am trying to make sure that my work is appreciated by the right audience and the message is preserved. On top of that I have no clue what I am doing. And the laundry and housework keeps piling up and to boot they are laying off teachers. I need some chocolate!!!!

Madison wrote: "I need some chocolate!!!!"

Oh my, yes, I totally understand. Sheesh, I think the housework makes itself worse just to make us authors look bad. (I sincerely believe that housework is its own living, breathing entity.)

Yes it is. It is laundry day not because I scheduled it, but because my clothes are walking themselves up to the washing machine and yelling,"Forget you lady! I'm taking a bath!!!!!" You know what I say to that? "Detergent is on the shelf, Honey!" lol

lol!

I follow my mother's advice...dust often or don't dust at all (for those of us living in the desert)...I usually choose the latter!

Ok, since we are venting here goes. I have absolutely no problem giving my work away. I find that it helps spread the word that I am an author and allows people to see how good, or not so good it is. What happens most times is, someone says "Hey, I hear you wrote a book." I say yes I did, then they ask if they can read it or if I have any extra copies, which I always do. Then when they are done, if they liked it, they ask if I have written anything else. I tell them yes, then again, they ask if I have any extra's, to which I usually reply, no, even though I do have copies. It upsets me that when I give away a book and the person likes it, but still won't pay to read the next one.
Am I being cheap or unreasonable? The books do cost me money to buy, not mention the six to nine months writing, proofreading, editing and so forth. It sometimes makes me really mad when this occurs and I have to control my temper before I let loose and say something I'll regret. Anyone else?

Jj wrote: "It sometimes makes me really mad when this occurs and I have to control my temper before I let loose and say something I'll regret. Anyone else?"

I hear ya, JJ. I refuse to give paperbacks away unless they are for a contest or a straight-up book exchange with a fellow author. I have my handy e-books to give away for free and I have absolutely no problem giving away as many as people ask for. I format them myself so there is no cost to me. I do totally understand how you feel, though. It can be very frustrating when someone claims they like your work yet they seem to think it's not good enough to pay for. Grrrrr....

Hi, Jj and Jaimey. I haven't run into that (yet). I have sent a free PDF to a couple of people who asked to read my work (and bless one of 'em for finding the two typos I missed, LOL). I'm willing to do that a few times (in fact, for those in this group who want to read my book, please PM me with an e-mail and I'll send the PDF ASAP), but I feel the same way as Jj. I really wish that the zillions of people who read my free military history book would go ahead and shell out the $5 for my novel, LOL.

Thanks for the replies. This group is helping me out in more ways than I can count. Along with receiving advice, I can also clear my head of anger issues. LOL!
It's like group therapy!
Sharon, where can I read a synopsis or description of your work? I'd hate to say I'd read it without knowing what I'm getting in to.
And vice versa to anyone who wants to read any of my work. I have pdf's I am happy to part with and take feedback from.

Hi, Jj. There's a synopsis and 10-page preview of my novel available at this link: http://www.scribd.com/doc/15851754/In.... I completely understand your position; historical fiction is not everyone's bag. I will say this: my fiction is well-researched. I do understand that it's not everyone's "cuppa" regardless, but I am particularly proud of the fact that I refused to gloss over realities for the sake of a story line, LOL.

Jj wrote: "Ok, since we are venting here goes. I have absolutely no problem giving my work away. I find that it helps spread the word that I am an author and allows people to see how good, or not so good it i..."

You have every right to feel that way. I would like to decide who I exchange or gift my book to, not the other way around. I had a cousin pull that on me recently, it ticked me off but she said the key word that made me overlook her transgression..."so I'm going to tell the PTA about this". I almost bought her some coffee. Then I remembered, the chic was holding a free book. I got her a refill of water. LOL

Thanks. Feels good to get that off my proverbial chest. Now I can go back to smiling and glad-handing those good-for-nothing free loaders as they tell me how they always wanted to write...LOL.
Going to be quiet for a bit now.

Bernadette wrote: "I follow my mother's advice...dust often or don't dust at all (for those of us living in the desert)...I usually choose the latter!"

I say, as long as the dust is evenly distributed, all's good. :-) (And yes, I'm new to this group, thanks to an invite by Jaimey. I'm hoping to get to know all of you soon!)

Jj wrote: "Thanks. Feels good to get that off my proverbial chest. Now I can go back to smiling and glad-handing those good-for-nothing free loaders as they tell me how they always wanted to write...LOL.
Goi..."

Hilarious. That's okay, JJ, once the New York Times puts you in their top ten you'll never have to give away another book.

My complaint is the rainy season. Miserable, mold, humid. Bleh.

I had a new complaint last night that I can't remember this morning. It was a good one, too. So now I'm going to complain about losing my mind. UGH!

New complaint:

Is goodreads acting wonky for anyone else? And twitter? What is this, Wonky Wednesday??

Twitter was definitely acting up last night. It seems to be fine this AM.

Twitter still won't add people I click to follow. It was working better for me last night.

And goodreads won't let me update my status or use the reply and preview buttons for posts.

Jaimey wrote: "And goodreads won't let me update my status or use the reply and preview buttons for posts."

I take back that last complaint. Goodreads seems to be working normally now. :o)

I have two things I want to complain about.

1. Friends who expect (not 'hope for') free copies of your books, and then give you the cold shoulder when they don't get one.

I don't get eleventy-billion copies to give away, but certain friends (or 'ex-friends' now) just don't get it. I gave a free copy of my Utamaro book to every friend, despite having to pay for most of them myself, and I didn't even get a thank you from some of them. Then, when the Guppy book came out, they waited for the next freebie. When it wasn't forthcoming, they behaved as though I'd robbed them blind and given them a swift kick. A few are now treating me as though I am sitting on a big pot of gold and not sharing my vast fortune with them. It's been quite an eye-opener.

2. My mother-in-law.

Just because. If I went into detail I'd be here until 2050! Needless to say, I am not good enough for her son and have proved that I am a lazy wench by sitting at home writing books and not getting a 'proper job'.

Oh, and I'll join Jaimey in congratulating Amazon on being a right royal pain in the neck.

Gina wrote: "I have two things I want to complain about.

1. Friends who expect (not 'hope for') free copies of your books, and then give you the cold shoulder when they don't get one.

I don't get eleventy-bil..."

Let's see if you're lazy when you get that major book deal Gina?

Am I the only one who tries to communicate and build relationships in other groups, but get royally dissed? I'm about to retire and just stay in this one.

Madison wrote: "Let's see if you're lazy when you get that major book deal Gina? ..."

I have a feeling that I'll still be a lazy wench... but a rich one. Then it will be 'you have all this money for doing nothing, so where's my share?'

Madison wrote: "Am I the only one who tries to communicate and build relationships in other groups, but get royally dissed? I'm about to retire and just stay in this one. "

Some groups are like that. Especially if you're an 'author' trying to break into a predominantly 'reader' group. Keep trying if it's a group whose theme is something you feel very strongly about. Eventually, when they realize you are not there to 'sell' them something, they'll relax.

Gina wrote: "I have a feeling that I'll still be a lazy wench... but a rich one. Then it will be 'you have all this money for doing nothing, so where's my share?'"

LOL!!!

Holy crap, Gina! You were GIVING AWAY copies of Utamaro Revealed? Where the heck was I? Oh, yeah. I didn't know you then. :oP

As for a real job, my husband has a dream job for me: A beer wench at Medieval Times restaurant. I have to say, I would love that job. But the closest one is in Chicago--I think. (I live in northern Michigan.) That would be a bit of a commute...

I read somewhere that the only one who should get a free copy of your book is your mother. I had to laugh when I read that. My mother has a copy of each of my books and she has only read a few chapters of Betrayal so far. She told me she doesn't like it. "It's too dark." I laughed.

Madison wrote: "Am I the only one who tries to communicate and build relationships in other groups, but get royally dissed? I'm about to retire and just stay in this one. "

I just quit one of the groups specifically related to my book because of this. Now, in fairness, the average age of the denizens in the group appeared to be 13 based on their posts ... but still. It is awfully frustrating at times to be putting something out there and get "koolio!" or similar in response, but nothing substantive. :-/

Hi Y'all!

I can relate to what everyone is feeling in this group. But, I have been writing too long and reaching for certain things, that I've learned to put a blind eye to what others claim to not know.

I am sure everyone knows that at most authors receive 5 free copies, then we must pay for every other copy with the option of a discount, or royalties to be sent later...marketing, signings, promotion...etc costs so much money!

I do give free copies away, mostly because I want to share my work...but also because you hope that everyone you give to will in-turn give an honest review...or at least a thank you. It is a difficult profession, and at the same time the easiest...even when the electricity fails, you still have a candle, paper and pen to be able to express and create masterpieces.

I think it is best to keep your expectations to yourself, while you keep working to where you know you will be...it becomes a job when it seems like work, and I think most of us can agree, that we just love writing and want to share!

:)

Wow, Ali putting it into perspective for us all. Nice job.
My issues mirror Gina's as far as friends go who expect certain things, but again, I bite my tongue and try to remember why I do what I do. TO MAKE MONEY!!!!!!
As far as other groups, I am a member of a few myself. Most are okay, they just aren't offering anything besides a place to joke around and talk. There is no real value in them, or at least I'm not getting it. This group, and Goodreads (all of you specifically) in general has already given me marketing ideas, a place to vent my fruststrations as well as a group to bounce ideas off whether they involve writing, publishing, sales, etc.
Glad I am here.

Hi, everyone. I was just thinking about the whole "expecting it for free" thing. I have been feeling kind of blue about rather dismal sales. I don't mind sharing the book for free with my fellow authors here, for example ... I think that the eBook swap is a great opportunity for all of us.

However.

When I consider all of the people in subject-matter related groups/websites who swore high and low that they wanted to buy the book (in eBook or paperback format) as soon as it was out, blahblahblah, and how so few have actually done so ... I have to wonder. Is it possible that those dozens and dozens of people really expected me to just give my work away to them?

I did a half-price coupon on Smashwords as an experiment and sold a few more copies ... but now I really am considering that people just figured I'd shell out a freebie to them.

When my paperback comes out, I'll have to purchase every copy I get (at a substantial discount, but still) ... I can't afford to paper the landscape, LOL.

Anyway, I appreciate the food for thought. I really hadn't considered what my friends' expectations of me as an author might be. :-/

It really helps you see who your true friends are as opposed to the freeloaders who "befriend" anyone they think they can use.

Oh, Gina, I totally feel for your mother-in-law woes. The bane of my existence I tell you! Is your husband an oldest son? Just a guess.

That's interesting about other groups being difficult to get into. I've found that a lot as well. Each forum has its own personality. How did we get some many amazing people on this one?

Maybe it's 'cause we all got in on the ground floor, so to speak. :o)

I wonder if some of our other group members feel intimidated by some of us and are scared to post?? In other groups, I have found myself nervous to jump into a conversation unless I am pretty well acquainted with at least one of the more prolific posters in the thread.

Thersa wrote: "Oh, Gina, I totally feel for your mother-in-law woes. The bane of my existence I tell you! Is your husband an oldest son? Just a guess. ..."

Yup. Oldest... groomed to fulfil his mother's every dream. Sadly, he met me. And now he just fulfils her nightmares. Hee hee!

Jaimey wrote: "I wonder if some of our other group members feel intimidated by some of us and are scared to post?? ..."

But we're all so cuddly and squishy. Fluffy bunnies the lot of us. I have wondered the same thing though.

I love this thread! Maybe it will give my hubby's ear a break. :) It's just so comforting to know I'm not alone. And when I sit in front of my computer in the middle of nowhere in the desert, sometimes it gets lonely.

I love giving away copies of my books!! I wish I could give them all away for free but someone needs to pay the bills. Obviously my family all got free copies - immediate family, that is - sisters and parents. I'm afraid to go home in October and find out what the rest of my family expects. ;) I give other free copies as thank you gifts - to people who have hosted book signings, people who have helped mail books for me (important thing when Egyptian post is completely unreliable), people who have stored books for me or let me crash at their place when I visit Cairo.

But when I was still working on the book, I had a lot of people from work who kept saying, "Oh, you have to give me a copy when it's done." I'd smile and nod my head and say to my husband afterwards "They're crazy, right? They think I'm going to GIVE them copies of my books?!" (These were people who worked because they needed something to do, not because they needed the money!) I'm happy to report though that when I did go back to the school, I donated one copy to the library and everyone else BOUGHT their copies.

Rambling. But I don't have a mother-in-law to complain about. Be glad you do. I miss mine. I miss complaining about her. ;)

Bernadette wrote: "I love this thread! Maybe it will give my hubby's ear a break. :) It's just so comforting to know I'm not alone. And when I sit in front of my computer in the middle of nowhere in the desert, somet..."

I can imagine the desert gets lonely. How long have you been in Egypt and how much longer do you see yourself staying there? It is on my list of places I would like to visit before I die. I'm a historian, and most of us have this thing about Egypt.

Side complaint, how did you guys help your hubbys adjust to your new life style? My husband is very supportive, but sometimes I feel like he thinks I am just playing on the computer when I am marketing. Really ticks me off. I also need help with balancing. I literally just started this journey in April 2009. The Poisoned Apple did not exist before this point so my husband had no idea I could even write. I think he is still in shock. Any advice.

Madison wrote: "Side complaint, how did you guys help your hubbys adjust to your new life style?..."

I was seventeen years old and an art student when I met my husband. He bought me a sign for my bedroom that said 'creativity is not a pretty sight', because he was used to the mess I made, the obsessive need to finish a painting, and the fact that the obsession resulted in my bedroom not being cleaned as often as it should have been (something which my mother will testify to!). He's lived with me being creative all of our relationship, so writing, in comparison to painting, is less messy, doesn't smell so much, and doesn't result in me getting green paint all over my pyjamas on a regular basis.

Gina wrote: "Madison wrote: "Side complaint, how did you guys help your hubbys adjust to your new life style?..."

I was seventeen years old and an art student when I met my husband. He bought me a sign for my ..."

LOL...I like that sign!!!! 'Creativity is Not a Pretty Sight' making it.......

New complaint...we need more testosterone! I live with my wife and two daughters and even our dog is female. And now I join a group of women complaining about their mother-in-laws on the Internet!
Just joking. Glad you are all here and are enjoying this group as much as I am.

HaHaHa!!!! I just made a new male author friend. I am going to recruit him just because you posted this Jj. Mama's gonna go get some worms for her baby bird. Just hold on......LOL

Jj wrote: "New complaint...we need more testosterone! I live with my wife and two daughters and even our dog is female. And now I join a group of women complaining about their mother-in-laws on the Internet! ..."

Jj, I invited the only four men who have befriended me so far. See how much I care!!! LOL Okay ladies, go find our man some brothers to bond with. Not to mention, I do highly value the insight of men on my work. Happy fishing.

Madison wrote: "HaHaHa!!!! I just made a new male author friend. I am going to recruit him just because you posted this Jj. Mama's gonna go get some worms for her baby bird. Just hold on......LOL"

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On that note, I posted a link in the tips&tricks group just in case anyone over there needs group therapy. :o)

HA HA. Thanks for thinking of me.

My husband reads these threads, so he is with you in spirit JJ.

Gina wrote: "My husband reads these threads, so he is with you in spirit JJ."

Hey we have a new man named Thomas!!! Go welcome him quick so he feels smothered by women....on second thought play it cool. lol. I need to go do some reading and writing. I am having way too much fun playing with my group today.

Jj wrote: "HA HA. Thanks for thinking of me."

Wait....and there's more. I just counted at least four more gentlemen, Jj. I am really glad you pointed out our lopsided crew early. These are fantastic editions to our crew. But for the record there is only one Jj The Founder!!!!

Madison wrote: "...how did you guys help your hubbys adjust to your new life style?"

Honestly, I never would have published my books if my hubby hadn't given me an ultimatum: Publish them or quit writing.

It was all the impetus I needed to take that final step. He has always thought I am a good writer--and no, he is not ordinarily a romance fan--but he knew my insecurities wouldn't let me take that last step unless I felt like I didn't have a choice.

So I will never complain about my husband. He's the whole reason I'm even here.