Eat, Pray, Love discussion

Very disappointed with this woman's so called journey. I think I would have left such a self centred egotistic person . What exactly did she learn about the world?? Not sure , she was too busy thinking about herself

I couldn't have described it better myself: "self-indulgent twaddle"! I thought I was the only one in the world who felt this way. It's good to know that someone else saw the book for what it is.

me three! perfect description, thank you, Carolyn

Exactly Carolyn!!!

me five!

Right there with you!

I kept thinking that it must be nice to be able to have the money to drop everything and travel for a year. How many of us can do that?

Could all you folks explain to me why introspection is considered a form of self-indulgence? How else could Elizabeth Gilbert or, for that matter, anybody else learn about the world except through their own personal experience?

I have not read the book, but the growing number of similar memoirs seem to have oodles of introspection -- and little or no personal growth. It's one thing to examine your life with an eye to changing it; it's another to simply wallow.

I did like Sara Yoheved Rigler's God Winked: Tales and Lessons from my Spiritual Adventures better, but she's a fan of Elizabeth Gilbert, too. Anyway, at the end, Liz is in a new committed relationship and is regular about meditation. It sounds like growth to me.

I was disappointed in the book, felt is was very "poor me", but I thought she had made a sacrifice to find herself. Then I found out her publisher paid for her to take the year off, travel and find herself. So, there really wasn't much of a risk taken here. Nothing about this book rings true for me.

I can't agree with the majority of the comments I've read about this topic.I have to say that in my opinion the book was amazing.I think it took a lot of courage to travel and learn so many new things in the process.I loved reading about her journey and her struggles along the way.This is without a doubt my favorite book that I've ever read.I hope that one day I can have the opportunity to travel and experience the world in different places.

Kressel wrote: "Could all you folks explain to me why introspection is considered a form of self-indulgence? How else could Elizabeth Gilbert or, for that matter, anybody else learn about the world except through ..."

It's not so much the introspection that is self indulgent. It's the path that she took and the fact that she didn't seem to learn all that much after it was done. Introspection is fine but it is even better when something profound comes out of it. I didn't find her journey or her revelations to be all that profound.

Esther wrote: " I guess it works for people who mainly want to be entertained, are a bit romantic and don't question too much."

Don't question what? The existence of G-d or a higher spiritual power? Is that the divide regarding this book - spiritual seekers v. pragmatists?

I guess it boils down to me as a "First World Problem." So much of the world does not have the luxury of being paid $200,000 to go find yourself and write about it. So many books out there about real sacrifices, real suffering and real growth. I prefer those books.

So then the objection is that her journey was paid for? If someone offered you something like that, wouldn't you grab it?

My objection is that the book is presented as a woman going through a personal crisis who decides to make a huge sacrifice, leave her job, and travel to find herself. It wasn't a spiritual journey, it was a paid assignment. For me, IMO, it makes the whole premise of the book seem contrived and not genuine.

I agree with Mary and Esther. If she was paid up front to produce a book, how can the reader really trust her? Did all these events actually happen, or were they embellished to fill up some pages? But then again, the least she could have done was come up with some problems that were worthy of an entire book. Similar themes have been done a lot better in both fiction AND non-fiction over the centuries. So, she was lucky enough to be able travel to get away from a divorce that she instigated for whatever reason (still never quite got that)...and make money off of it to boot. Boo hoo. To be honest, I didn't know until these threads that she was paid up front. I'd already formed my negative opinion of this book long before realizing that tidbit.

Hey I didn't realise that she was paid up front, blimey if someone said to me 'go find yourself and have an adventure, then write the book , oh and here's the money' I think I would have made more of an effort to have a bit more fun!!

All right. I'm starting to get the vehemence of the reactions. For the record, I didn't love the book. I didn't dislike it either.

What I still don't get is the "boo hoo" (as in Teresa's comment). I don't think the intent of the book was ever to elicit sympathy, just to describe a journey and what wisdom she found along the way.

"All right. I'm starting to get the vehemence of the reactions."

Yeah, the title of this thread pretty much lets you know what you're in for.

bloody hell Carolyn did u start this thread ! talk about lively. ..

I know Lorna I guess I should stick to like or dislike, didn't mean to cause such a ripple of annoyance. ( still think it's self indulgent twaddle though)

Teresa wrote: "Yeah, the title of this thread pretty much lets you know what you're in for."

So why "boo hoo?" How is the book asking you to cry with or for her? I think it's just asking you to travel and grow with her.

Terrie wrote: "I couldn't have described it better myself: "self-indulgent twaddle"! I thought I was the only one in the world who felt this way. It's good to know that someone else saw the book for what it is."

I so looked forward to reading this based on the hype/Oprah/Movie/Julia Roberts...was sadly disappointed. Just kind of felt "meh" when it was over.

I did some quick research to see if Gilbert was still married to her lover in Bali. She is, but admits she married him because he needed a green card.
Gilbert's ex, the one she leaves in the book is a different story. He was a human rights lawyer who wrote a book called "Displaced". This book is described as ..."offering an intimate look at the end of his relationship with [Gilbert], and his own search for purpose as he journeys through Kosovo, Mongolia, Iran, Iraq, and other developing countries, working with people displaced by natural disaster and armed conflict.”

So, IMO, that's the difference in a nutshell. He is dumped and takes a journey to war torn, poverty stricken areas to help people. She dumps 2 men and gets paid to eat good food in Italy, meditate in India, and find a lover in Bali. If she grew, it was a minuscule amount.

I didn't mean that she was asking anyone to cry for her, more like she was crying for herself…a lot.

VERY disappointed with this book. In fact, it just plain bothered me and I couldn't wait to get to the end (I've got a problem with putting down unfinished books). I didn't see any growth AT ALL for Gilbert. She's as self-absorbed at the end as she had been at the beginning of her journey. The ME ME ME and more ME mindset got old after about 3 pages.

I must have read a different book.
The book I read was about an insecure woman who went along with a mediocre life, then woke up and realized that the path she was on was so wrong for her, cut her ties (some painfully so), and went around the world to figure out where she was supposed to end up.
And that book spoke to me because (1) I also think Italian is the most beautiful spoken language, (2) I've been in a similar spiritual crisis and (3) the people of Bali are just...wonderful, peaceful, paradise (once you get away from Denpasar).
I don't remember her thinking she was making a sacrifice, dumping anyone (although I can see how her ex-husband would feel that way), or asking for sympathy or tears from anyone.
But, it's a difficult book. Some readers will relate; some won't. And I thought the movie was meh - didn't convey the parts of the book that touched me the most.

I guess mediocre is in the eye of the beholder. IMO, Gilbert lead a pretty nice life. Upper middle class all the way. Traveled, had success early as a writer, married and lived in a nice apt, was paid well to work In her chosen field. these are not things to be taken for granted, and yet she wasn't happy? I guess it's more a sad commentary on us as a nation. Literally. Millions of women around the world suffer daily with the effects of poverty, sickness, war and do not have half the advantages Gilbert, or most of us in the US have. But it's not enough?. She was bored? You have to get paid to go find yourself? The whole concept is irritating to me.

I agree with Lisa. While I understand everyone's hatred of the book, it's subjective and what your idea of selfishness and lack of growth entails. I'm almost wondering if many of you had high expectations when you started reading this book or something.

In regards to Mary's post above me, I think your assumption is premature. Just because someone has a lot of money, or even more than a lot of people, doesn't mean they can't get bored, lonely, lost, etc. Money is irrelevant when it comes to feelings. There are happy people that are poor and happy people that are rich. The only thing it sounds like money granted her, was the ability to travel across the World, something lots of us may never get to do. And if someone paid me to do go to Spain and write a book about it and if the best I could come up with on my journey was self-realization and finding new love, then awesome. No one expected her to become the Dalai Lama or something.

With that said, my only issue with this book was how it was written. If I recall (I read it a few years back), it took me a week or two to read because it didn't flow really well. But I did like it enough to buy her follow-up book Committed, but that has been sitting on my bookshelf, unread, for 3 years now.

That blowing outside your window isn't the wind coming up, it's me letting out a huge sigh of relief that I am not the only person on the planet who read it and wondered what all the hype was about. I'm Buddhist, meditate regularly, and have a strong spiritual life, and I'm doing it all in my everyday life in the middle of the U.S.A.

Mary wrote: "My objection is that the book is presented as a woman going through a personal crisis who decides to make a huge sacrifice, leave her job, and travel to find herself. It wasn't a spiritual journey,..."

Holy cow, I had no idea she was paid to go on this "journey." I could do a WHOLE lotta self finding for $200k, let me tell ya. I wasn't a huge fan of the book before I knew that, I skimmed most of the last third as it just got seriously boring but now that I know that? It feels more contrived than anything else.

Mary wrote: "Gilbert's ex, the one she leaves in the book is a different story. He was a human rights lawyer who wrote a book called "Displaced". This book is described as ..."offering an intimate look at the end of his relationship with [Gilbert], and his own search for purpose as he journeys through Kosovo, Mongolia, Iran, Iraq, and other developing countries, working with people displaced by natural disaster and armed conflict.”

That sounded so intriguing, I added it to my to-read shelf. But because I'm sort of obsessive-compulsive that every book on my GR shelves should have a picture of its cover, I googled for it. Unfortunately, the book has been canceled, but now I think even more highly of the ex-husband than I did after reading your brief description:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles...

Okay, someone is going to have to explain how the quality of this book changes when one learns that the author was paid to write it. Or after learning what happened to her husband.

Keeping in mind:
- Many established authors are paid in advance for their next book or featured article
- A memoir is by definition, "self-centered"

For me, and only in my opinion, the author presents this memoir as a story of self sacrifice, of taking a risk, of leaving her job, her old life and going on a spiritual journey. As if it was an idea brought about by her loss, as if she was risking all, selling everything and going out on a big limb....no where in the book does she say she pitched this idea to her publisher and then received an advance of $200,000. She then proceeds to take, IMO, a very safe, financially secure holiday...for me there was no risk, no growth...just a holiday with the promise of profit at the end. It makes the whole premise inauthentic...to me. I have traveled the world, and lived in other countries...including Saudi Arabia, and can fully appreciate the growth that new experiences bring you. I am just not convinced her motives were to grow spiritually, IMO, she wanted to grow professionally. I did not connect with her story. I found no points of empathy with her. I could not grasp her reason for leaving her husband...she was very vague, and I could not empathize with her.. I found the constant discussion of her trying to meditate monotonous, and her finding a man in Bali kind of cliche...

Again, I hated this book long before I found out she got an advance to write it. If anything, that just explained why this book was so shallow. What did she have to lose? Memoirs are, of course, about the person writing them, but usually the person and his/her experiences are interesting enough to have actually warranted a book. The most interesting thing in this book to me was the description of the pizza in Italy.

Mary wrote: "For me, and only in my opinion, the author presents this memoir as a story of self sacrifice, of taking a risk, of leaving her job, her old life and going on a spiritual journey. As if it was an id..."

If i recall, she left her husband because she realized she didn't want the normal household-wife-with-children lifestyle. So she felt they had no reason to remain together and left him. (I could be wrong, again, I read the book years ago).

So, lemme get this straight, let's say Donald Trump takes a vacation overseas for a year visiting third world Countries, and he decides to write a book in the process. During the process, he realizes things about life, other people, himself, his marriage, his spirituality, etc. And of course, it would be an extremely financially safe vacation for Mr. Trump. So, you're saying, his book on his travels and growth and experiences would make his book inauthentic since it wasn't financially draining on his bank account?

Donald Trump may not be the best choice for your example. He is quite possibly the most excessively egotistical and " show me the money" persona out there. So if he truly did do a 180° and become a major philanthropic force in the world, then that would be a book worth reading. But that's not Gilbert's book.She was looking to escape from her life choices and found a way to go on holiday and get paid. I have stated repeatedly I didn't like this book and why, and that is my opinion. Others may not agree. I did not connect with Gilbert on any level and I failed to see her growth.

I am so disappointed that I wasted my life reading this book. It is full of cliched foreign characters, not sure what she learnt?? Italians are all loud and love their food, Indians are religious and spiritual, Balinese are innocent, mystic. It just confirm existing stereotypes and not adding anything to the understanding of people or oneself. At the end she found herself an exotic South American man, happy ending.....

I wanted to punch her the entire time I was reading this painful book. Spoiled. Brat.

My problem is that everyone has to go through crises in their lives, most of us don't get paid to deal with them. It makes it much harder when you have to deal with real life on top of the crisis. Most real growth occurs through suffering. I didn't feel it from her. But seriously, kudos to her for figuring out how to turn her life crisis into a paid gig. I guess we'd all probably like to do that.

Serena wrote: "I am so disappointed that I wasted my life reading this book. It is full of cliched foreign characters, not sure what she learnt?? Italians are all loud and love their food, Indians are religious a..."

Serena, I agree! Maybe we can get a publishing company to pay us to write a book about our regret at reading EPL! The heartache, the loss, the anger. Sounds just as good as Gilbert's angst!

Lisa wrote: "Okay, someone is going to have to explain how the quality of this book changes when one learns that the author was paid to write it. Or after learning what happened to her husband.

Keeping in m..."

Mary wrote: "I guess it boils down to me as a "First World Problem." So much of the world does not have the luxury of being paid $200,000 to go find yourself and write about it. So many books out there about re..."

I think it changes the perspective. I can't relate to being paid to think about my mistakes/failures/challenges and money is a constant worry in my life, though, not the biggest one. I think it is much easier to "find yourself" when you don't have to worry about your kids and keeping a roof over your head. I think I gave this book a 3. I liked some of it, the pictures she drew in my mind of the places she was visiting and such, but I found her annoying and someone I could not relate to.

I think it says a lot about her ex to turn down the money and not write the book he was asked to write about the end of their relationship. Much more integrity there, in my opinion.

For a travel memoir that begins with a similar premise, but avoids the self centered whining, read Without Reservations: The Travels of an Independent Woman. This one is more about growing through humility, and without the constant plea for sympathy. Steinbach observes the people she meets on her travels with empathy and seeking to learn more about them, rather than put herself in the center of every scene. Yes, memoir by nature involves writing about the self. The difference is between "Here is what I saw." and "Hey, everybody, pay attention to me!!"

Lara wrote: "I think it says a lot about her ex to turn down the money and not write the book he was asked to write about the end of their relationship. Much more integrity there, in my opinion."

I agree Lara. I also read the book before I knew anything about Gilbert, her husband or her advance from her publisher. I just kept thinking throughout the book, "Would I want this person as a friend?" No, I would not.

'Self indulgent twaddle' Yes, I'm a new member and I'm so glad I'm not alone.
I had a free Audible book coming so I tried 'The Signature of All things' as well. It was all the things the reviewers went on about but I found it curiously cold and stopped reading about 1/3 of the way in. I couldn't find the heart in it or maybe I just never connected with the gal. Well researched and well written but nothing about it ever became real to me.

I just think the point of the book is that if our soul is in dire need of healing we should go to great lengths to get the healing that we can go on to live freely. Seems to me the story isn't just about her travels in a geographic journey but a journey of the self. We can take a journey like that in our own back yard.

When I read the book, I admired her will of healing. It was admirable.

Terrie wrote: "I couldn't have described it better myself: "self-indulgent twaddle"! I thought I was the only one in the world who felt this way. It's good to know that someone else saw the book for what it is."

I agree! Never knew why this book got so popular!

Without becoming the awkward one in this thread I thought the book was ok. I became agitated a few times throughout the book and I didn't like the ending because I felt like she went on a journey to find herself only to end up in the same situation with a man all over again without fully becoming content with herself. However I did enjoy her spiritual journey for God and I really enjoyed her conversations with Ketut. But as I said before I didn't see a massive change in Liz at the end, no massive step of independence or a life of serenity. It was more a few months of clearing her head to cope better with reality.

I can understand where everyone else is coming from too, you are all entitled to your own opinions...that's why so many different books and genres are written. :)