Write Your Heart Out ツ discussion

Hi, guess this is my folder, eh? I'll probably just post a few short stories and some poems on here if people like them. :)

Okay this the first one. I wrote it this morning. If anyone reads it let me know what you think. Its more of a descriptive really short paragraph I guess.

To keep it simple I say fall whenever someone asks my favourit season. Fall with its bright colours and crisp air and fresh smells. Fall where its still warm enough for t-shirts or some days a light sweater. Fall where you can wear boots but not the huge bulky boots for winter and you can still sit outside and enjoy it without losing a limb due to the cold. Fall where, when it rains, it sounds like a symphany and when its done it smells like the Earth. The dead leaves and the dirt mixing together can create a smell so wonderful and sweet that you can't forget it and everytime, every single time you smell it, it brings back a hundred different memories. I guess in some ways fall is my favourit season. But I just tell people that it is to avoid confusion.
My favourit season is when the snow is just starting to melt so that in some places you can see the grass or the dirt covered road. When your mother yells at you to put your winter coat on because there's still snow on the ground but you don't need a coat because it almost spring but not quite so you wear a sweater and big, clumsy winter boots and you keep you winter tuque on because it completes the outfit. And all the kids come out to play and you get yoou dad to dig your bike but you don't end up riding it because there's too much sand on the road. And all the little kids bring out chalk that gets left out and run over by passing cars. It too cold to swim but you can smell the ice melting back into water and it looks so inviting because you've been cooped up in your house all winter and your ready for a break. You spend every second of your day ooutside because its not winter anymore. But it's not summer either. That means its not too cold but its not to hot. And it still rains and that rain washes away the rest of the dirt covered snow so you can run down the street wearing running shoes but you still wear a hat because its not time to put the winter things away yet. Everyone is outside and laughing and the adults are making fires and drinking beer while the kids play tag. Its like we've all just come out of hibernation and we haven't seen each other all winter and we're just getting ready for summer when we can do this every night. And the kids gets restless in school, they just want to be outside, they just want vacation so the teacher leaves the windows open and the breeze wafts in and it smells like grass and snow. And the sky is grey but the sun is breaking through the clouds so it looks like God, Himself is shinning down on the Earth. That short time between winter and spring, when its still tenchically winter but so close to spring that you can smell it, that is my favourit season.

That was so amazing!! I loved how you described it all and just kept the story simple and sweet-that was great!! It was very clear and had a happy feeling to it :) 8/10

Gosh thanks! I wrote something like that for school but it was about the sunset. I might post it...

That was pretty good. Work on your spelling, and it would be really good. 8/10

Haha I hate having spelling mistakes but what I wrote it on doesn't have auto correct and I was writing too fast to realize that I had any. But thanks

I use Chrome because I SUCK AT SPELLING! :P

I'm not that bad and I notice a lot of mistakes especially after I've written something but if I go too fast then I miss stuff. I'll work on it tho:D

I suck no matter how hard I try. >:P

Haha and k sorry:/

WOW. This poem is amazing.

Hmm I hadn't really considered it a poem but I guess it could be right? Thanks:)

This is my 5 paragraph essay I wrote for school. I had nothing else to post. Tell me if you like it. It's a little...amateur.


THE SUN

You look up into the sky. It's getting darker earlier now, because the weather is changing. You can faintly see the half moon raising in the dimming, pale, pink sunlight. You draw your big sweater tighter around yourself and sigh. It's different every night, the sunset. Last night it was bright purple and dark red, tonight its paling, sky blue and light pink, the setting sun casting a golden glow on the few supposedly white clouds roaming the sky. You watch you breath puff out in a veil of condensation, visible in the pale sunlight. Leaning back, hugging your knees to your chest, you think about what the sun really is.

The sun is the closest star to our planet. It provides us with heat, light and life. Without the sun the human race, as we know it, would be nothing. We need the sun to thrive, no matter what, whether we like it or not. Think about it, without the sun we would freeze. Without the sun, we would all be cast into a gloomy, distant darkness. There would be no gravitational pull for our planet to orbit and our solar system would cease to exist. We wouldn't last without the sun.

The surface of the sun is 5,600 degrees Celsius and over 4.6 billion years old. Think about all the people who have seen it set. Now think of all the people who have yet to see the majestic sunset. You, of all people to come, have witnessed it countless times. Of the billions of people dead, living today and to be born, everyone has or will see the sun set. And it has and always will be the same sun. The same sun has set and graced the world with its marvelled pulchritude, but it's not the same. Every sunset is different and you will never see all of them. That's the beauty of it, the sun is always there. And it always will be.

The sun is a big ball or gas. Gas that has yet to burn out. Hopefully after our race dies out. But when the sun does eventually burn out, our world will freeze. Our water would freeze. Our human remnants would freeze. Any leftover life organisms would die. Our Earth would be a dark, desolate, dreary, waste land. There might be crumbling infrastructures or long forgotten buildings or idling cars strewn around the dead streets. Of course you could ignore all of that future thinking and live in the present, so to say.

As the last wisp of cheerful sunlight eradicates behind the tall tree line, tiny stars appear in the black sky, bright, shining against the dark background. You, suddenly, wonder what a sunset would be like on another planet. Would it be longer? Shorter? Prettier? Darker? You stop and think about future sunsets. Surely you wont live to see them all, right up until the very last one, but one could imagine. You excogitate whether or not people of the future will still watch the sunset. Whether they will see the amazing hue of colours spread before them, waiting to seen. Needing to be examined. You wonder whether they will ponder the same things you do about life and sun and the connection between the two. The deep, reflecting thoughts everyone has late at night for no reason whatsoever. You shake your head as if to rid yourself of these thoughts and turn back into the warmth of your own home.

DEATH

Death happens to the best of us
It happens to the worst.
Is there heaven?
Is there Hell?
Will we get what we deserve?
Will we live our death
Peacefully with everything we need
Or be chained inside a dungeon
Doing the Devil's dastardly deeds?
Will we die with regrets
Or be reset of our past
To live our next life
As if it were our last?
We do what we think is right
But we all make mistakes.
Could we all be forgiven
Or are we classified as fakes?
Will we be brought out
For the lives that we have chosen
When we knew of no better path
Then the one that wasn't broken?
We're only human
We dream of the stars.
But the marks humans leave
Are most often scars.
If there is an afterlife
We'll destroy that peaceful view.
We destroy whatever's in the path
Of our money making debut.
We pollute our world
By filling the air
Our oceans
Our minds
It really isn't fair.
We're afraid of death
But what we don't see.
Death might be better
Then what we could be.

I really love the first one. You have great writing style. Do you have a story anywhere?

THat is an amazing poem!

Thanks ☺
I started writing a story on Wattpad but it was really bad so I never really finished it. It's on there, it's called Marks but it's bad.

I don't believe it, it can't be that bad?

It might not have been that bad but I didn't like it.

Well it's your story. If you don't love it, than what's the point right ;)

Hehe I always end up disliking anything I write at some point or another.

really? Why??

I don't know. I re-read it and I find so many mistakes and the story line doesn't make sense or it develops too fast. Lol oh well. It's still Wattpad so you can read it if you want.

but that is kinda the point of past written stories. They make you grow. The fact that you think that now, means that you have grown. That doesn't make the stories bad, at all.

Ha yeah I guess.

You don't agree?

No I do it's just I don't find I get any better. No matter how many times I write or re-write something.

I get that feeling. Do other ever tell you that your stories are good, even though you think they are not?

Yeah all the time.

Sometimes I think they're just being polite though.

Sometimes they probably are, but most of the time, they are being genuine ;) that's because they see the story as it is. A story. And you see it as something you made and not good enough.

Especially people on GR. We know what we are talking about when we read something good. Your writing is really good Reann :) ((Sorry didn't mean to butt in :P))

Haha thanks a lot guys

Don't say sorry for that Tia :) You are totally right. Thanks for backing me up here :P

Alyssa wrote: "Don't say sorry for that Tia :) You are totally right. Thanks for backing me up here :P"

No Problemo :P

Reann wrote: "DEATH

Death happens to the best of us
It happens to the worst.
Is there heaven?
Is there Hell?
Will we get what we deserve?
Will we live our death
Peacefully with everything we need
Or be chained ..."

luv it

Thanks:)

QUESTIONS IN THE RAIN

Some people feel the rain
Others just get wet.
The blood flows down the drain
Help I must get.
You think you've found your match
But your match you haven't met.
Around you are the stones
In which the date is set.
My life is a gamble
Which I choose not to bet.
I beg you to listen
There's no need to fret.
On my mind is a question
Do you love me yet?

I loved that! :D That was really good! I wish I could write poems

It was ok. Thanks though

You should try writing poems it's quite fun really. :)

I've tried but I can't seem to get them right

Try a different style of poetry. Like instead of rhyming ones try a haiku or something.

I suck at haikus too...It's okay I will stick to short stories and let the pros handle poems xP

LOVE

It's an odd thing, love
How you could give yourself away
To another human.

I think that's right?

Not very good at haikus either I guess...

isn't it supposed to be 5 7 5?

syllables I mean

I tried to do that. The last one wasn't 5 right? I think I was counting human as 2 syllables...