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Writing Prompt 1
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Submission:Where were you last night?
I was atop mountain peaks white with snow
Powerful gales trying to bring me low
I was aboard sleek vessels plying the sea
Porpoises dancing and squealing with glee
I was aloft on wings roaming the skies
Puffy clouds circling before my eyes.
I commanded an army on alien ground
Geysers of lava erupting all around
I created a ship that could fly across time
Witnessing life’s clock ring its final chime
I claimed a treasure from an ancient hall
Restoring its splendor to be enjoyed by all
Within my mind I climbed, I fought, I flew
And so I ask, what did you do?
Where were you last night?
Mod
It's starting tomorrow. God, I can't believe that it's already here - it feels like we've been waiting forever. And really, it's been what - three weeks? Four? I lose track, but honestly I don't care about that. Even now, I'm trying to convince myself that I'm nervous and excited about tomorrow, but I'm not - all I can think about is what happened yesterday.
I hate that we left things where we did. It's eating me up inside - I need to talk to you. After what happened, don't you need to talk too? I know that you do - you have to. I'm here - talk to me.
Seriously - talk to me. Write, call, send a messenger, do whatever you need to do, but let me know that you're there - as I write this, the most ridiculous ideas are starting to form in my head. The silliest fears...like maybe you didn't make it home last night. Maybe something happened. Maybe you're not answering because you really aren't there...
I know it's silly. I know it. But please, I need to talk to you. Where are you?
- Rowena
Dana wrote: "Where were you last night? I waited for as long as I could, but in the end I had to leave without you. And now you're not answering your phone, not answering the door - where are you? Why this sile..."Very nice. I like the pace, it makes me anxious reading it. Of course, now I want to know who Rowena is and what it is that they are going to do tomorrow that has her nervous/trepidatious. I can't think of anything that takes 3/4 weeks of preparation of the top of my head....
Note: I suppose its just a teaser, but here you go:“Where were you last night?” He growled as I stepped through the door. The floor creaked as he took a heavy step towards me.
“I-”
“You – You what?” His muscles bulged beneath his shirt.
“I had to find some food,” I whispered, and tossed my backpack onto the ground. A can of peas rolled out into the middle of the room. He stared at it.
“Peas.” The word dripped with disdain. “You left...for peas.”
I rubbed the back of my head. “I was hoping to find something more, but most of this area has been picked through thoroughly...”
He bent down and picked up the can. It looked so small within his massive hands. “I told you to stay here. Where it was safe.”
“I know, but-”
“You almost died the other day, and last night? Last night, you decided to risk your life again, in an unmapped area. Crawling with the dead...” the can of peas began to squeal from the pressure of his fist.
I bit the edge of my lip.
“And you did this... all for a can of peas...”
I shrugged. "I was hungry."
*** Comment ***Hi Cherie.
I like what you've written, and wish the format were better, I hate how you can't put paragraphs/indentations... anyway, I digress.
I like the teaser. It definitely grabs my interest. You lay out a zombie type world, is my guess. Plainly the muscled character cares bout our hero/heroine? (I picture a heroine, but the text doesn't actually tell us). A good teaser. I like how you lay a lot of groundwork with only a few words. You've laid a world, built some tension, established a relationship, hinted at some history and also some 'problems' that are going to plague our characters.
Well done.
Thank you! I kept trying to find a way to format it better, but alas! I am not very savoy with formatting...I'm glad someone is still reading these prompts. And thank you for putting them up. I've suffered from some Writer's Block recently, so taking your prompts and applying it to my work is extremely helpful, and thanks even more for the feedback. You guessed it all right, too. Glad it came through.
“Where were you last night?” He thought gazing at the “Free Mimosas w/ Breakfast Buffet $8.95” sign on the door.Heh. He smiled at the sound. The door’s bell jingled, announcing his entry. The street front diner was smallish, maybe ten tables, certainly enough for his town of two hundred. The bone and cream décor was never his thing, but today it seemed appropriate. He felt the nausea of being fired yesterday and the stress of having nowhere to go today. Melba, 40ish and bouffant eyed him with a half knowing smile. Damn. Nothing’s secret in a small town.
“Coffee and a paper?” she quipped.
Mr, I liked your entry. Is it part of a larger piece you have written or plan to write?
Thanks Cherie! No, it just came off the top of my head. I'm trying this "100 words or less" style of writing prompts...
Coffee. Hold the paper. I want to give my depression a chance to develop some strength before I chase another failed job opportunity. Roy Weir dropped his head listening to the sound of Melba robotically pouring half a cup of coffee in the half cleaned mug on his table. He felt self-conscious about wearing his “Roy” work shirt for a job he no longer had or maybe the non-shower smell he definitely possessed. His world now seemed to revolve around not being paid to do anything and not doing anything.“I’ll give ya a couple of minutes” She walked back to the counter and spoke to the cook, now watching him from behind the pass-through.
That is actually a really interesting idea. You must have to choose every word carefully, making them all mean so much more. I will have to try that one day. (:
I always want to rewrite everything I put down. Now I can leave it up to the reader to edit my writing as they will and make it their own.
“Where were you last night?” Keara pulled at the worn leather straps that held her pack to her father’s favorite gelding. “Tom and I waited for you but you never showed.” She avoided his eyes and tried to sound like she didn’t care. Besides the sound of her voice, only the occasional snort of a horse and the chirping of a song sparrow interrupted the quiet stable in the pre-dawn darkness. Eric’s horse stood unsaddled in the next pen and he was not dressed for riding.“I’m not leaving, Keara. I just can’t.” He reached past her and tugged at one of the straps as if to make sure it was secure. She moved past him to the other side brushing his arm aside.
“Obviously,” she mumbled.
“If you had any sense you would too.” His tone conjured up memories of fishing at dusk when they were children. They would be catching fish and he would actually suggest they go home. “Mother will be worried about us, Keara,” he would say. “You are going to get me into trouble, Keara.” Or they would be stealing apples in the neighbor’s orchard and he would say, “If we get caught I’ll switch your bottom after mother does.” She found that older brother tone endearing most times. She secretly liked seeing him afraid of getting caught doing something naughty.
Not today though. The tone grated on her and she felt the urge to slap him.
He crossed his arms. “You will never catch her. And if you do, she will probably swat you like a gnat.”
“Not if I put an arrow through her pretty little throat first.” Keara led the gelding from its stall and out the stable doors. Her breath misted in the chilly morning air as she slung the long bow on her shoulder. Dawn was breaking. A horizon of red in the east spread like blood over the town that their family had watched over for ten generations.
He followed on her heels and, to her surprise; he grabbed her arm and turned her around.
“This isn’t some game, Keara. She is a conjurer. What can you do against-”
“Conjurers are not invincible, even dark ones.” She grabbed his shirt with both hands. “She fucked our father while mother lay dying and now he sits there like a drooling village idiot. If you had any honor, you would be coming with me.” She let go, took a quick breath, and smoothed his shirt. He looked down at her hands and she could see his jaw trembling. “Remember when the Gando clan stole a few sheep from the village. Many wanted to let it go. Even mother said, ‘what’s a few sheep. It’s not worth any lives.’ But father said no. First it will be sheep. Next it will be horses, and before we know it, the Gando will be raiding us daily and we will live in fear. So he struck hard and fast.” She lifted his chin and made him look at her. “I’m setting things right.”
She turned at the sound of riders approaching. Three men rode towards them at a determined pace. Tom rode a black warhorse and was dressed in boiled dark leather armor. A sword was strapped to his side and a bow and quiver were over his shoulder. He was a tall man of middle age with dark hair just beginning to show grey at his temples. Old enough to be her father yet here she was leading him into who knew what. The other two were hired hunters. She wanted to ride out with a full contingent of armed men from the village, but Tom suggested that a small party of professionals would be better. He knew a couple of men who had experience hunting those that practiced the dark arts. They looked ordinary enough in daylight. Both were dressed plainly and she thought they would be able to blend in anywhere. They had met last night to discuss the task and to work out a price for their aid.
They stopped and waited for her. A slight queasiness crept into her stomach as she saw them ready for her to lead them. She had to do this. Eric certainly was not capable of filling her father’s shoes so she must. Men like Tom followed strength no matter the gender of their leader.
She mounted her horse in one quick motion. “Take care of father, and keep an eye out for any other seeds that she may have sown in the village. We may just be seeing the beginning of her mischief. I do not know when we will return.” She nodded to Tom and his men. “We ride west with the sun. We do not stop until we chase it over the horizon or until we taste the blood of justice.”
They rode in pursuit and Keara did not look back.
*** COMMENTHello James -- I won't go into technical detail. I'm more of an enjoyer than a critic so I'm just going to say I liked it. Which I did. A lot.
"Where were you last night?" she called out to the imposing figure standing just outside the dark tunnel entrance. Cool air swirled in making the flames of her fire gutter. A tall man dressed all in black and carrying a pack over one shoulder stepped from the shadows and into the firelight. He stood about 6'2, was tan and had waist length black hair shot through with fiery red highlights. His eyes, normally an otherworldly shade of emerald, almost seemed to glow in the low light bouncing off the cave walls. The lower half of his face was obscured by a black scarf and his reply was muffled."Winter is coming" he stated plainly. Riel sighed. He was deflecting again.
"You've been scavenging alone again" she stated matter-of-factly. She knew he hadn't been sleeping much lately but that didn't excuse him going off alone. It wasn't safe outside anymore, not since the world ended. Logan pulled the scarf away from his face and gave her a lopsided grin.
"Sorry." His tone was apologetic as he plopped down on the opposite side of the small fire. "I saw some houses nearby and thought I'd go do some scouting before we head out tomorrow morning."
"Did you find anything?" she asked, trying really hard not to be annoyed that he had went out without her. He shrugged and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Canned goods mostly but I did luck up on some antibiotics and a first aid kit in one of the houses" he said proudly.
"It'll be daylight soon. You should try to get at least a few hours of sleep." She gave him a stern look and he raised in hands in mock surrender with a quiet laugh. Logan propped himself in a sitting position, back against the far wall of the cave and long legs stretched out before him. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes and soon had drifted off into an uneasy sleep.
"G'night" Riel whispered quietly. She stretched out on the ground and tried to fall asleep. It was no good though. The warmth of the fire on her skin was soothing but her mind would not shut off. She kept thinking about that awful day, the day the world came to an end. It had been almost 6 months but she remembered it like it was yesterday.
Ashey, you have some nice images here. A dark tunnel. Survivors (companions) scavenging for food. A very dark mood yet almost casual conversation.One observation (and I know you probably just whipped this up based on the prompt): You use quite a few 'ly' adverbs when describing what the characters are saying.
...he stated plainly.
...she stated matter-of-factly
...he said proudly
...whispered quietly.
These really jumped out at me. Try taking every one of those and see if you can convey those descriptions with actions. For example:
"Canned goods mostly but I did luck up on some antibiotics and a first aid kit in one of the houses." He held them up to her like a trophy and grinned like a kid who just won an award for good citizenship.
You can also front load some of the dialogue with the action.
She gave him a stern look. "You should try and get a few hours of sleep. It'll be daylight soon."
He raised his hands in mock surrender. "Alright, alright," he said with a quiet laugh.
This way the reader gets a feel for the action before the person speaks. Almost like staging in a play or a movie.
Cheers!
You're right, I did whip it up just for the prompt. I've never really tried writing anything but fan fiction before so this original stuff was a bit of fresh air. Thanks for the feedback! I was considering continuing on with this and I agree with the -ly and wording. It seems to be a bad habit I started in high school & have never really managed to break. Haha. That's something I'll definitely have to work hard on!
Ashley, you should certainly keep going!
*** Comment(s) ***Wow, a lot of good work on this thread.
Mr - A good beginning. Sets a dark mood for the reader as we are getting into the protagonists situation, which seems familiar and desparate at the same time. Also like the details on the diner which are colored by his mood.
James - Very intrigued. Fantasy/sci-fi is my favorite genre, and you write it well. The setting seems almost to combine post-apocalyptic and fantasy, you get the sense of survival and small communities (versus empires/kingdoms you get in other fantasy). The surise description was excellent.
Ashley - I read you're post for secret before this, and now am doubly interested in the characters. You setup for the description of their apocalypse at the end of the prompt, and I'm very interested to see that. You carry your plot through dialogue, a good technique (I believe Stephen King uses much the same) rather than description (which is my own bread and butter). Keep up the good work!
"Where were you last night?"
Any submission should begin with this line. Where it goes from there is entirely up to you. Submissions can be any genre (poetry, short story, science fiction, historical fiction, paranormal, etc). Of course, general rules apply, warnings where appropriate!