RiseUp! discussion

I was having this discussion with a "friend" at lunch the other day. She was saying that your first love is yourself and if you don't love yourself than you can't love anyone else. But I disagree with that. Because I've seen that as false. When you love yourself first you are just selfish. But I love God first and then family and friends and everyone else and THEN me. Sometimes.

What do you think? Who is right?

And I ask this cause it's actually kinda been bothering me.

I was listening to a radio psychiatrist once a long time ago. The caller was all upset because she just didn't love herself. The psychiatrist said that normal people don't love themselves. Narcissists love themselves... Now, I think that might be kind of extreme. But it's a good point. As a society, we've become so focused on ourselves that we lose sight of so many important things around us.

Christ called us to love each other as He loved us.

And love itself is a choice. It's so much more than the gimmick thing that you see in Hollywood movies, or read about in teen novels.

General Tso wrote: "Paigetwo *Caitlyn* wrote: "I was having this discussion with a "friend" at lunch the other day. She was saying that your first love is yourself and if you don't love yourself than you can't love an..."

Ok, so Im not the only one or crazy

Mojoboy31 wrote: "I was listening to a radio psychiatrist once a long time ago. The caller was all upset because she just didn't love herself. The psychiatrist said that normal people don't love themselves. Narcissi..."

Yea. So I was right. Ok, that's one thing I don't have to wonder if I do wrong on :)

The bible says to love your neighbor as yourself. It doesn't say; love yourself above all others.

Mojoboy31 wrote: "The bible says to love your neighbor as yourself. It doesn't say; love yourself above all others."

Yea, but can you love others and not yourself?

By "choosing" to put others needs above your own. You are loving them. Love is a choice.

I think we should love God and people more than material interests, and that we should only love material interests from an entertainment viewpoint, and not an emotional viewpoint, because in the end those things can't really love us back.

General Tso wrote: "Paigetwo *Caitlyn* wrote: "Mojoboy31 wrote: "The bible says to love your neighbor as yourself. It doesn't say; love yourself above all others."

Yea, but can you love others and not yourself?"

Wel..."

A good point about the temple. The thing is - we're born loving ourselves. We're born wanting our own way and sinning and such. But when we are re-born into God's family, when we turn away from our sins, we make a choice to put Jesus first, others second, and us last. And we shouldn't love ourselves at all. Not in that way. What General Tso was saying about the temple...yes God's Holy Spirit resides in us, and we have the right to boast in God, but not the right to boast in ourselves. We should care for our bodies and not fall into disrepair just because "well I'm not supposed to love myself" but we should be willing to humble ourselves - make sacrifices for others and devote our lives to God. It is our calling.

Yea, Im just saying cause I've noticed a lot of people in society nowadays will enforce loving yourself above all else. That's wrong.

I get the whole love yourself too I guess....

There is a lot of that going around in the psychiatry world right now. It's all about loving yourself...

Yea, I don't

Wasn't saying I really agree with it.
God first.

But don't ever hate yourself...

Yep

.....

General Tso wrote: "Paigetwo *Caitlyn* wrote: "Yep

....."

I had a time when I actually hated myself-- nobody knew about it, but I did. It was rough-- dont follow that path. It leads too-- destructive things like sui..."

Yea, I know very well.

I agree with this stuff. Somewhat.
All of it cept the God bits.

Put others first. Because it is the right thing to do.
That's all I need to say...
Unfortunately, one supposes, I am rather fond of my self. And put it first. After all, it is me who benefits then from my actions.

You DO seem very.... What's the word..? Not exactly narcissistic, but.... Yea...

God first, others second, yourself last. This is how Jesus put it, and I believe it wholeheartedly. True, it can be very hard to put yourself last, but Jesus told his disciples to be humble. Jesus said the meek and humble would inherit the Kingdom of God. It's a really good example that he taught. I do agree with loving other people, because then people can see Christ's love.

Narnian525♥♪ wrote: "God first, others second, yourself last. This is how Jesus put it, and I believe it wholeheartedly. True, it can be very hard to put yourself last, but Jesus told his disciples to be humble. Jesus ..."

I don't find it hard. And that's why I was looked at like I was crazy and wrong.

Paigetwo *Caitlyn* wrote: "Narnian525♥♪ wrote: "God first, others second, yourself last. This is how Jesus put it, and I believe it wholeheartedly. True, it can be very hard to put yourself last, but Jesus told his disciples..."

I know, but some people do. A lot of people want to be looked at as the top or number one, because they figure that's one way to help boost confidence.

Yea guess.

Getting back to what you said: Who looked at you like you were crazy and wrong?

Some girl I sit with at lunch who is my "friend".

Paigetwo *Caitlyn* wrote: "Some girl I sit with at lunch who is my "friend"."

Huh. :/

Princess Dee wrote: "Paigetwo *Caitlyn* wrote: "Some girl I sit with at lunch who is my "friend"."

Huh. :/"

What?

That was my response to the fact that your friend gave you a look because you don't find it hard to put yourself last...

Paigetwo *Caitlyn* wrote: "Some girl I sit with at lunch who is my "friend"."

Oh, ok.,

Oh. Yea. She isn't much of a friend though. That's why I used "".

Paigetwo *Caitlyn* wrote: "Oh. Yea. She isn't much of a friend though. That's why I used ""."

Yeah, I figured... I am able to interpret those at least, tonight. ;P

I see where you're coming from. I've had two best friends before that are now just acquaintances.

Princess Dee wrote: "Paigetwo *Caitlyn* wrote: "Oh. Yea. She isn't much of a friend though. That's why I used ""."

Yeah, I figured... I am able to interpret those at least, tonight. ;P"

Haha, or morning. Depends how you want to see it ;P

Paigetwo *Caitlyn* wrote: "Haha, or morning. Depends how you want to see it ;P


Oh, it is sort of the morning, isn't it? It is Sunday, and it probably is wise for me to go to sleep...

Narnian525♥♪ wrote: "I see where you're coming from. I've had two best friends before that are now just acquaintances."

Yea, before we were nothing. Then now we talk in lunch cause we sit together, but if we are really quiet or still we can all feel the tensions at the table. From almost all of us. I'm only there cause of my really good friend is there.

God's most important commandment is: "Love the Lord God with all of your heart, soul and strength."
His second most imporant commandment is: "Love your neighbor as yourself."
If you do not learn to love yourself, you cannot possibly have learned how to love others. My thought on this is that you learn to love others by mentally putting yourself in their place and understanding why they are the way they are, and learning to have grace with them –– but it starts with accepting grace and love from God.

Then compared to a good Christian, I am wholly selfish, narcissistic and vain.

Compared to the IDEAL Christian, you mean. We all make mistakes and we all have faults. Hence the need for forgiveness.

Good Christian, ideal Christian...
I'm sure they are both holier than me.

Here's what the bible has to say regarding love:

"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things..."

Love is not "selfish".

Yes. And we all know how much I love the bible...

The Phantom wrote: "Yes. And we all know how much I love the bible..."

*shrugs*
Ask a Christian a question about Christianity, and they will most likely use the Bible.
lol.

I never asked a question.

Jennifer wrote: "The Phantom wrote: "Yes. And we all know how much I love the bible..."

*shrugs*
Ask a Christian a question about Christianity, and they will most likely use the Bible.
lol."

True that.

Going back to the topic at hand:

1 John 4:19

"We love, because He first loved us."

He first loved us

Like half the chapter deals in love, and is great to read, but with the wording of that particular verse was especially relevant to this topic.

The Phantom wrote: "I never asked a question."

I believe the topic was created by Paigetwo. And she did ask the question, so...

Oh, right. Sorry.

Yea... So anyways... I heard it again. The same thing in a song this time. It's in the first verse.

In better hands - Natalie Grant

Says, "And you can't love if you don't love yourself."





Why??? I don't agree. At all.

One interpretation of that could simply be that neglecting the self - even with the intention to put others first - can cause undue worry for those who love you.

Also, if no-one loved themselves, then capitalism would never work.

You cannot give what you have not received. If you do not receive the Father's love for yourself, then how can you give it?

Writing from my phone, so this'll prolly be even less eloquent and understandable than usual.

Bible says "we love, because He first loved us..." not because we first loved ourselves. Now, imagining yourself in another's place in order to sympathize is a good example what I'd call compassion, which is very important, but not quite love itself-- at least, not completely.

I think the verse that says to dig the log out of your own eye before offering to pick the speck from another's eye is In Matthew. And I think that concept kind of applies here. While I wouldn't say that you need to love yourself in order to love others-- I would say that learning to accept your own flaws and shortcomings can make it far easier to accept them in others.

"I would say that learning to accept your own flaws and shortcomings can make it far easier to accept them in others.
This... Yes.