Q&A and psychology advice with Ivinela and Alexey from Life Can Be a Miracle discussion

Here is an example of a Q&A taken from my blog. Please feel free to ask your own questions :)

Question:
Hi Alexey!
I don’t know how to start… I’ve read your previous article and I realized that we build behavior models in order to be liked by society or the people we live with. But this is not our authentic life and we wouldn’t like to live it following learnt models all the time. I am 37 years old and realize that my behavior model, which I’ve built, stands in my way. Would you advise me what to change in my behavior in order to break the vicious circle and get out of it?

Answer:
Hi,
We have already talked about the mental models that shape our maps, and respectively, our reality. Sometimes, as it seems to have happened to you, the models we use stop corresponding to our real needs and thus begin to hinder our happiness and joy of living.

Very often people come to me and say, “I’ve lost the meaning”. For me, that’s a sure sign that the map has taken control of their lives — the map, rather than them, has started managing their lives, and it has drained out the meaning that life use to have.

The good thing here is that this existential crisis, that you’re probably stuck in at the moment, can serve for reorientation. It gives you a signal that the map must be changed. Now, the best thing is that the reality will react to the change. When we change the map it also changes the shape of the vessel that forms our reality. As a consequence, different events start happening.

Maybe it’s important for you to start doing things that will recover your authentic connection with your natural self, and from there you could build the reality you want for yourself.

It helps a lot to get the seriousness out of the situation. Seriousness makes things rigid and the fixed models paralyze us. But for you, and in order to make the changes you seek, you need the flexibility of a more liberated attitude. One of the basic principles that we discuss at the seminars is: “In order to have something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done”.

You can try doing such things for a while – literally. It’s not necessary that these are some major or ambitious things like climbing Everest, for example. These may be small things from your daily life that you’ve turned into routines and you don’t even notice. Maybe you’ve never greeted your bath robe with, “Good morning, dear”? Or have you sung the “White bunny” song to your fridge? And I bet you have never had your coffee with parsley, have you?

In our lifetime we receive different labels and we also add our own as well – to ourselves and to everything around us. We start identifying ourselves with our labels – and the reality too. The problem about the label, however, is that it is a total prescription and defines the patterns of the models – not only for behavior, but also for the way we live and think. Labels organize our experiences and conquer our reality. However, if we remove the labels, we will discover that we can be much freer in our behavior, perceptions and thinking; we can recover our connection with life’s potential and start manifesting it in our lives so we can be, do and have everything we would like for ourselves.

Making these 'shenanigans' I mentioned is fun, of course, but is not an end in itself, although sometimes to just laugh at a situation helps a lot. These small fooleries actually open the door widely to a more flexible and diverse use of our potential in the perspective of infinity. The point of doing these 'techniques' is to make space within, where we can choose new options and work out new experiences – but this time ones that are synchronized with our natural self.

There are no labels and limits in the Universe, it is neutral, non-verbal and non-linear, which means that all interconnections we make, different from our social experience, can have the 'butterfly effect' in our lives.

For more efficient ideas on how to get out of the matrix where our lives get stuck, I recommend you read the book 'Life Can Be a Miracle' by Ivinela Samuilova. You can directly use and immediately start applying most of the techniques suggested there, adapting them to your specific needs.

Alexey Buchev - psychologist and protagonist in the bestselling novel 'Life Can Be a Miracle' by Ivinela Samuilova

Alexey runs practical seminars together with Ivinela Samuilova - Life Can Be a Miracle - that are one of the most popular forums of self-improvement in Bulgaria