Struggling Writers discussion

Hello and welcome to Lee's Poems!
Here is where I will post all my poems before ripping them to shreds. I am not allowed to write poems, and if my mother finds them, I would be banned for the rest of my life.
But here, I will keep my poems, as an archive of my works.
I would very much appreciate if you could rate and critique my poems, or tell me which are your favorite. I spend about 15-30 minutes per poem, which is not much, so don't butcher me either.
Disclosure: some of my poems may contain gore (not really- I don't know) or contain the word known as the antonym of heaven and crap like that- just don't get mad or offended. This is how I express myself, alright?
Thank you so much for reading!

Here is my first poem posted on this group here, which won 3rd place in the Lighthouse contest! You have no clue how happy I was ^.^

Beacon of Hope by Lee

Alone, tall, and bright shining
Guiding you to your silver lining
Strength and hope beam from one single tower
Seems insignificant but glows radiant power
A lonely beacon to help others find their way
For the lost and afraid, in both night and day
Safety and security in the deep dark waters
Help to the sailors whose journeys grow broader
Hazards and troubles they continually face
As they travel across the empty sea to a new place
Dangerous rocks would jag into the boats side
If it was not there to be a strong guide
The lighthouse, a tower always standing tall
Beautiful sight after the oceans pall
Laying a path towards the shore with its light
A glowing hope that will always shine bright.

This poem was inspired by background (and hate) of bullying and gossip.

A Lesson For Society by Lee

Look at the people all around
judging criticizing and hating
without a single sound
Only quiet whispers and snickers
and gossip about him or her
till it turns into a never-ending bicker
"God, look how ugly!" "You think she's insane?"
back and forth they mutter
"Ew he's so fat" and "I bet she lost her brain."
Then our backs are stabbed, and we ask why?
"Why did they do that? We were good friends!"
never trying to find out the answer, we mumble and cry
But in reality its what we all have done
hurting each other with words
till no one has won
Kindness is always a beautiful path
to make people smile
rather than choosing the way of wrath
Maybe our kind words could do some good
possibly even save a life
If we just treated others like we should.

I wrote this one recently, after I spent all night watching my small candle burn at my bedside. I could have flung my blanket over and caught myself on fire, because I wasn't supposed to have the candle anyways, but a (rather sucky) poem came out of it so I guess its alright XD
Anyways, it the comparison to life and fire, because both are beautiful, but both cause pain.

The Fire of Life
One flame
dances into the night
with eyes
gazing upon the light.
A hand
reaches with desire
to touch
the beckoning fire.
Fingers
brush the orange flame
the pain
severing all the shame.
The heat
burning into the heart
flickers
a sorrow grown apart.
A blaze
in continuity;
the mind
marvels at its beauty
while skin
is burnt an ugly raw.
One flame
igniting life's dark haul.

This poem is one of the ones that took months to complete, which is really rare, but it makes this poem special. Compared to the others, you can see how much more effort I put into it. Its rather intense.
This poem is based off of schizophrenia.

The Voices

Voices in the silence whisper your name
They say, "everyone hates you, and they all say the same"
"We will be your friends, you don't need people"
The Voices take your hand and you hide in a deep hole.

Voices in the shadows gaze at your core
They say, "your fat and ugly and you dress like a whore"
"You don't deserve to eat, starve yourself to the bone"
Then The Voices pull you away and leave you alone.

Voices in the dark night watch you crying
They say "your in pain but this can stop your suffering"
"Slit your wrist and everything will be okay"
The Voices help you mutilate yourself to until the day.

Voices in the emptiness drain your life
They say "look at these people who cause you so much strife"
"Just get rid of them to sever your hurt"
The Voices smile as you bury bodies in the dirt.

Voices in your head kill you from inside out
They say "we can free you from this hell without a doubt"
"You can solve your troubles if you use that gun"
Then The Voices laugh because they know they have won.

This poem is alot like A Lesson For Society, so I don't know if its that good/unique. I don't really like it honestly. The syllables and stuff don't sound right.
Based on the negative self-esteem that most everyone has.

War in the Mirror

Look at this girl
too tall too fat
and her teeth will never
look like shiny pearls.
Her skin is too pasty
her hair color is too bland
so she will never hold love
in the palm of her hand.
She acts too shy
but she really is loud
she is self-conscious about herself
but pretends to be proud.
Watch this girl
who is she?
Pretending to be perfect
when she won't ever be.
This girl is only
a reflection in the metal.
This girl is you
with tears as delicate as a petal.
But don't you cry darling
you will be alright.
You can win this war
against the monster with a fight.
So put up your beauty
instead of your gun
because when killing yourself
no battle will be won.
Attack the monsters
and the demons inside.
One day you will stand
with unshattering pride.

I like all of these, and good for you for writing them! I especially like "War in the Mirror".

Thank you so much :)