Backstory discussion

This is where you can share your past, your mistakes, your hopes, dreams, family life, anything

I get that people maybe dont wanna just spill their entire life story infront of everybody but we have to start somewhere guys

well I guess I'll post something...I wanna share a few hopes/dreams of mine/bucket list

dreams: ~I wanna be pit captain for the band
~wanna finish high school
~go to north Georgia college
~be with the love of my life (you know who you are)
~wanna have 4 kids in a nice neighborhood

bucket list: ~ride a ferris wheel with my love
~sit in a photo booth with him and take ridiculous photos with him
~ride a plane
wear m.l's sweatshirt/jacket
~dance with someone...for real...
drive
~take a road trip.

Those are all really nice liz :) bet they'll all come true

And im gonna follow her lead but my dreams/bucket list is only really one thing right now... Id just like to finally find a happiness that isnt faked or forced and that i can enjoy without being scared or worried...

My past? It's not that interesting, believe me. But here we go:

I was born in China. Guang Dong China(A province) in a small town. I was found in front of an old arcade when I was a baby(Not even a month old.)I was born with a cleft lip and palate. Don't know what it is? Look it up. I had a surgery(or two)for it. I lived in the orphanage until I was..erm...2 years old. And then my adoptive family adopted me. I now live in Ohio, with my two sisters(Who are also adopted and were born in China, but in different sports)my older sister is 17, and my younger sister is 11. I'm 13 and in the seventh grade. I had several surgeries when I was younger. I now have a scar above my lip/below my nose from a surgery, and a scar on my right hip from a surgery in..2009. My most recent surgery. Hopefully I won't have any more surgeries-_-

Anyways, in preschool and kindergarten, I went to a private school. I was always a bit of a loner. But I miss those years. And then, after that, in first grade through third grade, I did homeschooling. And then, in fourth grade, I went to public school. Ugh. The girls gossiped about me and left me out of everything. I was bullied, and I hated every moment of it. The fifth graders bullied me, and I was stared at constantly because of the scar below my nose. Sadly, i'm still stared at today for that. I remember I used to drag myself around the playground, being laughed at, stared at, or called names. It sucked. Then, I became friends with these 3 girls. But not really. I hung out with them during recess, and they were nice, but kind of ignored me. So I just stopped hanging out with them. And then, later in the year, I made friends with this girl. She was nice, but treated me like porcelain. Like I was some delicate, fragile, piece of glass. If I'm not bullied, I'm treated like that. It's kind of weird, really. But anyways, we were okay friends, but then, whenever her friend came along, she'd ignore me completely. And they'd leave me out on things. Not a nice feelings..being left out, I mean. Anyways, then I stopped hanging out with her. Then the year ended.

Then came fifth grade. I think that was the best year ever. At the beginning, I was still a Loner. I would sit on the special need's swing(She never used it:P)and swing and swing for the whole recess, be stared at and bullied, but other than that, I was happy. Then, one day, when walking around the green playground, this girl was sitting on one of the steps of the playground, drawing. She asked me if I wanted to draw with her, and even though my instinct said "No, she's just going to ignore you and bully you later. Just say no." I took a chance, and said yes. Best decision of my life. We became really good friends, we would draw all the time during recess, and I discovered we had a lot in common. We both loved reading, and school. Sometimes during recess, we'd actually do math problems out of the text book for fun. We were giant nerds. And then later in the year, we started staying in for recess, helping our homeroom teacher/math teacher, grading quizzes, doing that stuff. We were teacher's pets XD And after fifth grade, came sixth grade...middle school.

In 6 grade, it wasn't bad. Though I had no classes with my best friend. *sigh*I was a loner again. Though I ate lunch with her. But you know, I'm really shy outside of goodreads. Every year, I grow more shy:/ In gym class, I met this girl. She was like me. She was bullied too, made fun of, and laughed at. People thought she was annoying. And I admit, in 5 grade(She went to the same elementary school as I did)she was in my homeroom, and I thought she was annoying too. But I got to know her in 6 grade, and we became good friends. She was a dork like me. We both watched Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles, pokemon, Teen Titans, Ninjago, and other dorky tv shows. We shared a changing section(Section 4)in the locker room. It was only the 2 of us. In gym, we'd be partners for everything, talk to each other when walking the track, that stuff. 6 grade was great. I joined the newspaper club with my other best friend from 5 grade, and was "dani" from the advice column(Called, Dear Dani and Danny. Advice from a guy and girl)

And then came 7 grade*sigh* I had a few classes with my best friend, no classes with my friend from gym class in 6 grade(She's ignoring me now)and the bullying and stares got worse. I got worse. I stopped eating, cut myself with my scissors, etc. I became less close with my family. And always got yelled at on a daily basis. School got harder with stupid common core and other crap. Yeah, and now my friend from gym class ignores me, I'm becoming less close with my best friend from 5 grade, and becoming a loner again*sigh*


See, that's it.. sooo interesting, I know right?:P

Kay [Barbie doll] wrote: "Okay soooo. My life's pretty boring. Which can be good. I've never been bullied, really. Not compared to other people.
Anyways, I'm adopted. But I'm not like asian, or african, or anything. Which ..."

I read it all!:P

YOUPOORTHING

I wish I knew my biological mother:/

:/ I can't even remember what mine looks like other than blondish brunette hair soooo.... I don't even know if she looks like me O.O

O_O

O_o

I wonder who I got my appearance from O_O Dad or mom..

Yeah... don't think about it too much.

Kinda hard to not think about it:/

I know how you feel :(

@musiclover

thnx for sharing a lot and sorry u had to go through that but if you ever need a friend im here! plus a bunch of other amazing people I know that are on here

liz wrote: "@musiclover

thnx for sharing a lot and sorry u had to go through that but if you ever need a friend im here! plus a bunch of other amazing people I know that are on here"

"A lot" hahahaa like, a million paragraphs xD And thank you:)

lol yeah we all will have our share of super long post but that's the whole idea here...to get things off your chest and no problem...anytime

My story is kinda really boring, so I'm gonna do what Liz and Ryan did and share some dreams and hopes.

-Finish high school, all marks above 80
-Figure out what I want to do with my life
-Go to school near home, but not live at home
-Write and publish a novel
-Finally really be with him (You know who)
-Have children with him
-Get married
-Do all the things I've dreamt of doing with him
-Be really and truly happy

well i haven't posted in a month and things have happened that kinda change a bit to my backstory. Normally i wouldn't do this but (no offense) since the only person i know in person already knows pretty much everything I'm gonna share my entire backstory on here.

I think thats a really good idea lizzy *hugs*

I was always that kid that nobody really seemed to like and I could be jumping around, screaming and in a blink be the calmest thing in the room. apparently kids at Fort Daniel (elementary school) didn't like that kid for their friend. Also my mom and I had a rough relationship from the start. I never meant an "I love you" that i gave her and my birth dad left us when i was almost 1. My mom married this dude when i was 2 and i never liked him around my mom and was protective of her even though i hated her. They fought all the time and he had a drinking problem that usually helped start these fights. they divorced 3 times and in one of those breaks the house my mom and i were living in got broken into while we were there. we got held at gunpoint and at 9 years old...that's pretty scarring. My teacher at the time offered for me to stay at her house and all my classmates wondered why i was given this "amazing opportunity".
5th grade was hard because all the kids would laugh at me when i jumped at a loud noise or didn't wanna go by myself anywhere. when the thought of me moving became a subject, multiple kids hollered to "let the nerd go".
6th grade i moved schools halfway through the year and was laughed at worse until people got to know me. this time i knew to hide my "nerd side". i luckily knew one person, my best friend. unfortunately when i first saw her i mistakenly hugged her and due to that i was called "gay" the rest of the year.
7th grade year i knew i had to shake that so i became the class slut and went out with any guy who would look at me. this caused me to almost get raped twice but if you ask me, i deserved it. some would argue not but it gave me a wake up call. this wake up call, unfortunately, came a time or two later. i starved myself, cut, etc. and the entire time nobody noticed i was hurting.
8th grade year i had changed to what i would say was the best attempt of being myselfish plus i had the whole "fake smile everyone believed was real" thing going on since i was still starving myself and cutting. night of my birthday: everybody forgot it and multiple people pushed me over the edge. it also happened to be the night of the dance at our school. worst night of my life. while i was smiling, jumping, dancing, laughing with my friends, i was planning the different ways i could kill myself. slash my arm, drowning, jumping of the bridge, step in front of the train,etc. i had backup plans. although, after i left that stupid dance, i starting texting a person i had been texting for the past weeks prior. i don't know how or what exactly he said but he talked me out of taking my life without even knowing it.
we talked more and more and we starting going out a few weeks later. let me say, that was and probably will always be, my best summer ever. we went to movies and dont remember what the plot was about, we laid on a couch for what seems like forever without needing anything but the comfort knowing that the other was right there.
9th grade we were the couple that if you saw one of us the other was to be found somewhere super close. then shit hit the fan and my mom made us break up. i started cutting and starving myself again, things i really hadn't done while i was with Him. life was in the pits and i had almost took my life 5 times. i went out with 2 other guys. one who was just using me as a rebound, and the other it was just really awkward being a couple. then...He started going out with Her. he had told me before while i was going out with the 2 guys that it hurt seeing me with someone else but i never listened and just brushed it off. but i got what he meant then. it hurt like hell. i thought i should just end my life then. while stuff was going down...i got raped. i asked Him to walk me to the bus the day after it happened but He never came. i was crushed and almost took my life again that night. since then ive been able to keep a somewhat happy face but its hard with memories threatening to resurface at every little shadow. i used to just had to deal with triggers to the break-in memory. but now i deal with two life-scarring memories threatening me to drown me at every single corner. He has come back to me and when im with him it fixes everything...until he goes away and seems to have gotten 10x harder to push the demons away.

PS: i do NOT want sympathy from this at all. i shared and its over. just thought i should

PSS if i seemed rude ^ (up there) chill and dont freak

I'm probably gonna delete this now so if you wanna look at it one more time look now.

liz wrote: "I was always that kid that nobody really seemed to like and I could be jumping around, screaming and in a blink be the calmest thing in the room. apparently kids at Fort Daniel (elementary school) ..."

I'm actually kind of like you in some ways.

I was the kid that no one really liked or hung out with, maybe one or two people were my friends at most in Elementary School. I found out around 2nd grade that I am Autistic. Middle School was tough for me because one of my current classmates (him and I were 6th grade when it happened) bullied me because of my PE Skills in Quidditch. My friend [Danny Rubino](who was also 6th grade at the time it happened) helped me out by defending me from the guy who did the bullying [Armaan Soltani] to me. Things started looking up in 7th grade, I made more friends and I was fine. 8th grade was sad at the end, but honestly, I started feeling like Hyde (that's my middle school) was my family. 9th grade seems fairly easy, but honestly I am kind of still working out the bugs I've been in.