Heathens, Pagans and Witches discussion

I was wondering if anybody could direct me to books or resources on dealing with hatred and anger? Or at least offer some advice? This is an issue I am really struggling with right now. Thanks.

♥★Julia wrote: "I was wondering if anybody could direct me to books or resources on dealing with hatred and anger? Or at least offer some advice? This is an issue I am really struggling with right now. Thanks."

Julia, I don't know of any books that address the issue of anger, but this always helps me when I am mad at the world.......I write. In the world I have created everything is perfect and I have total control of every character in it. I can mete out justice to the evil and reward the good. This is excellent therapy.

If you are not a writer, pick up a "happy place" book and read it until you feel better. Everyone needs a nice break from the world we live in.

Remember, no one is born a misanthrope, it is human society itself which creates misanthropy.

Holly wrote: "♥★Julia wrote: "I was wondering if anybody could direct me to books or resources on dealing with hatred and anger? Or at least offer some advice? This is an issue I am really struggling with right ..."

Yes I am a writer, I think I'll take to writing more often, thanks :)

♥★Julia wrote: "I was wondering if anybody could direct me to books or resources on dealing with hatred and anger? Or at least offer some advice? This is an issue I am really struggling with right now. Thanks."

I don't know your spiritual preferences, however Thich Nhat Hahn has written a book titled "Anger". I found it thought-provoking and helpful on the subject, though I am by no means Buddhist in my outlook.

Sara wrote: "♥★Julia wrote: "I was wondering if anybody could direct me to books or resources on dealing with hatred and anger? Or at least offer some advice? This is an issue I am really struggling with right ..."

Thank you, I'll take a look!

Buy yourself a punching bag and after you have given it a good beating with the source in mind, take a walk through a park preferably along a gentle stream where you can sit on a rock and meditate; empty your mind.

I like your suggestion better than mine, Laureen. Think I'll give it a try.

Laureen wrote: "Buy yourself a punching bag and after you have given it a good beating with the source in mind, take a walk through a park preferably along a gentle stream where you can sit on a rock and meditate;..."

Thanks! I'll be on the lookout for where to get a punching bag...that'll give me some much needed exercise as well!

Thanks you guys for the vote of confidence. I need to practice what I preach lol. I had in mind one if those little speed boxing balls - the big heavy ones will cripple your hands.

I very much like the image of shouting my anger into a hole or burying words. Indeed Gaia will disassemble it and make me whole. :-). Painful times when someone turns into a person unrecognizable. Going to check out that book too, Gina.

Little wrote: "I went to boot camp last year Julia for this reason. I needed to kick something (preferably someone, but I don't do violence). Was great for getting out the enormous amounts of stress and anger I w..."

Thanks, I'll see about that book.

Little wrote: "Oh and last year was advised to dig a hole in the ground and shout forth my anger into it, or write it onto paper and bury it. Give it back to the Mother and she will take care of it. xg "

I love this. It reminds me of a New Year's ritual:

Before midnight, New Year's Eve write a list of all your regrets, worries, anguish, things that make you mad and when midnight comes, throw them all into a fire to leave them behind in the old year.

Then you start making a list of hopes and dreams, aspirations, things you love, et al., and before sundown, toss them into the ocean or a river or a lake so they can flow through waters of the world and back into your heart.

I like yours better because it can be done any time and because there's no polluting of the environment going on. :-)

In any event, the process is cathartic.

♥★Julia wrote: "I was wondering if anybody could direct me to books or resources on dealing with hatred and anger? Or at least offer some advice? This is an issue I am really struggling with right now. Thanks."

Make art.

Old-Barbarossa wrote: "♥★Julia wrote: "I was wondering if anybody could direct me to books or resources on dealing with hatred and anger? Or at least offer some advice? This is an issue I am really struggling with right ..."

Thank you all <3

Old-Barbarossa wrote: "♥★Julia wrote: "I was wondering if anybody could direct me to books or resources on dealing with hatred and anger? Or at least offer some advice? This is an issue I am really struggling with right ..."

Art, great idea. I recently came across Zentangle - a new art craze that sounds very interesting. It is based on Zen, Doh! But it sounds great. I bought a book full of designs for my mother-in- law who likes doing ceramics but the idea of Zentangle is to create your own designs. There are Zentangle teachers but Amazon has all the books you would wish to teach you about the method and the benefits, like focusing the mind, reverting to a peaceful state, a meditation through design in the mind. It is apparently easy to learn and can become as complex as you like.

I have friends who swear by Zentangle. The local metaphysical shop even offers classes though I've yet to give it a try. Could be just the thing.

Old-Barbarossa wrote: "Make art."

Yes, this. Writing or beating the crud our of some clay or pouring my feelings into some other piece of art has saved my sanity more times than I can count.

Sara wrote: "I have friends who swear by Zentangle. The local metaphysical shop even offers classes though I've yet to give it a try. Could be just the thing."

Oh, that is good to hear Sara. I got excited about Zentangle even though I had never heard of it. It could be just the thing to bring me back down to earth after the crap I have to deal with on a seven day basis at work plus caring for my mum who has Alzheimer's, the poor darling. I just wish I had more time. I love reading and Goodreads so much, they take up the little spare time I have, but I do try to keep up the smiley face.

Laureen wrote: " It could be just the thing to bring me back down to earth after the crap I have to deal with on a seven day basis at work plus caring for my mum who has Alzheimer's, the poor darling."

Yes, I would urge you to delve into anything that gives you a little "Me Time" as a break from this situation. Sometimes it's nearly impossible, but every little scrap you can get will help in the long run. I was working full time and the sole caregiver for my mother for several years. She passed in January and I'm only now beginning to emerge from the post-stress of that situation. I still have a long way to go, but my creativity is slowly coming back to me. Those spare moments I could grab of it during the caregiving really did save my sanity. Sometimes it wasn't much more than assembling nice pictures to go with interesting quotes, but each little bit helped get me through the day. You may not have time/energy for any large scale creativity, but I'd urge you to find some little nook that is all your own, be it art or reading or communicating with us here on Goodreads or whatever. They aren't wastes of time. They are necessary bridges to life and sanity and will stand you in good stead down the line when you need it.

Peejay Who Once Was Minsma wrote: "Laureen wrote: " It could be just the thing to bring me back down to earth after the crap I have to deal with on a seven day basis at work plus caring for my mum who has Alzheimer's, the poor darli..."

Thank you for being so sweet, Peejay. I keep telling myself that one day I will have a life. Don't get me wrong. I am very appreciative that I live in a world so much improved on the past and to know the friends one can obtain on sites like this where we all have the opportunity of discussing books. Some people today have not discovered the joy of reading. I would find that very lonely.

However, I do need something creative to stimulate my brain cells in the creative area. I could never be a writer. Authors have my full respect. How do they create such imaginative stories and find the time to research the subject involved? Well, for me I am going to try Zentangle - if not today, it will be sometime.

Little wrote: "Detachment works too Julia, it's hard to do, but really effective. 'Observe don't absorb'. ( This is a tactic for dealing with narcissists but it works in everyday situations with people who are pi..."

Observing rather than absorbing! I like that. A bit like a dream state but more detached?

All good observations, Gina. Just what I need for a situation of my own that echoes what I remember of yours. Thank you.

How easily such folk manipulate, deceive, and misrepresent themselves and circumstances. It's still fresh right now, so I do well to take your advice to heart.

Very important stuff, Little. I would add to this the need for self-forgiveness. Because we are human, sometimes we are going to react. If we can manage to detach after that initial reaction, that's good, but in those places where our emotions get the better of us, we need to let go of self-judgment. "I should have…" is one of the most toxic statements of all. If you did the best you could under difficult circumstances, there is no "I should have." Guilt and unhealthy shame will drag you down as sure as the manipulators. But I guess that falls under the category of Don't dwell on it. It's their business, their crap and their damage, not yours. It most certainly is not your guilt/shame to bear.

Little wrote: "Adding a couple more things that help when dealing with anger. Don't preempt the situation if you can help it. Don't try to second guess what the other person will say or do. Don't dwell on it. It'..."



That part about avoiding triggers is absolutely on point. For example, I recently deleted my tumblr account, and only now, post-tumblr, have I realized that I was only triggering myself because that site is rife with the things which upset me, and to make it worse expressing those negative reactions was almost always greeted with backlash.

As for books, movies, etc, I've been avoiding ones which I know may upset me, and if one unexpectedly contains some trigger I put it down. Recently I tried reading a book which looked so good but as soon as I realized it'd be filled with triggers I stopped. So I'm getting better at that.

Thanks everyone for your support and advice. It helps a lot.

Little wrote: "Good on you Julia. Sending strength and love. xg"

Thank you, the same to you and to everybody who has been kind enough to help me out and listen to me.

Blessings to you, Julia.

Peejay Who Once Was Minsma wrote: "Blessings to you, Julia."

To you as well

Chopping wood, venting with angry drawings, exercise, karate lessons..,


short term fixes


May I add:



(I am a bit reluctant to give the recipe because it can be overdone.)

*cayenne pepper tea*

It almost always puts me in a better mood.




Hope things work out for the good.

Such wisdom here. All suggestions are practical. I hope Wren thinks so to and that it helps. There should be more questions asked like that. I think it serves all of us to hear what others think.