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Deaths Mind Palace
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Black raven flyingTowards the red sunset through
The Autumn forest
Its old weary wings
Slowing down as his eyes dim
On the light sunrays
As she settled on
A old branch and Remembered
Her long fruitful life
Her memory of
Hatching as foggy as a
Gloomy winters mist
She can remember
Her first flight and leaving her
Mother and Siblings
She can still recall
Raising her first children and
The countless after
At last the sun went
Over the Horizon and
She eyes closed at last
Deaths coming wrote: "Here we are, here is one of my earlier poems and I should hopefully start making more again soon
The calm ocean still
Empty of waves with nothing
Stirring the great sea
However beneath
The waves..."
Its a good poem, harmonic and goes well with the previous words, but there were a few grammar mistakes.
The calm ocean still
Empty of waves with nothing
Stirring the great sea
However beneath
The waves..."
Its a good poem, harmonic and goes well with the previous words, but there were a few grammar mistakes.
The structures good, but to be really honest I didnt like it sorry. It's probably because I don't feel like your putting yourself into them? I always prefer to use feelings and experiences in poetry but that's probably just me. Maybe you could try a poem where you make it more personal?
Alice wrote: "The structures good, but to be really honest I didnt like it sorry. It's probably because I don't feel like your putting yourself into them? I always prefer to use feelings and experiences in poetr..."It's fine, I should start writing again soon, the biggest problem with your suggestion is that well I wouldn't know what to write about myself
The calm ocean still
Empty of waves with nothing
Stirring the great sea
However beneath
The waves a different story
Is shown to happen
Creatures of brilliant
Colours of such beauty and
Diverse quality
Swimming together
In an endless flurry of
Emerald and ruby
Scales of such shine that
They are like small gemstones set
In a endless dance
Small or large does not
Matter all of the creatures
Are magnificent