Don't Say That discussion

You know how it goes. What should be done about it?

"Well what were you wearing?" Um excuse me but I just got sexually assaulted and you are asking me what I was wearing? Because now it's my fault that I *GASP* showed off a little bit of my knee. That, my "friend" is called victim blaming. And that is gross.

"You deserved it because you were drunk." No, actually, I don't. Again, victim blaming.

"Oh, it rarely happens anymore." Actually, yes it fucking does. I have 3 sisters. If you include me, that makes four. According to statistics, when we are between the age of 18-22, one of my sisters will be raped. And that is unbearable.


In ancient Rome, men convicted of rape had their testicles crushed between two rocks. I personally think that we should start this practice again.

The statistics?

*Gloria* ~In The Clouds~ wrote: ""Well what were you wearing?" Um excuse me but I just got sexually assaulted and you are asking me what I was wearing? Because now it's my fault that I *GASP* showed off a little bit of my knee. Th..."

Wow. What about female rapists though?

Personally, I think they should be given a punishment just as severe.

I agree

I'm going to open a huge can of worms.

Despite comment #2, I do have to wonder if the condition of the woman affects whether she'll be raped or not. I am not blaming the victim…merely questioning whether you can make the argument that the behavior of the woman influences the man. I mean, men don't wake up and say "I'm going to rape someone today." It's always in the moment. An impulse. And that impulse is affected by things such as whether the woman is scantily dressed or if she's so drunk that it would be easy to pull off.

Does that make sense? What are your thoughts?

rape is a horrible crime, and it is never the victim's fault

Well I do think that if someone is barely wearing any clothes the chances of them being raped could be higher.

yes but it is NOT their fault; instead of teaching people to dress differently, we need to teach people to treat others with respect and keep their feelings/urges in check

How about both?

I just want to bring in male rape for a minute . What about them?? Also this does happen but most get told males cant raped when they tell someone.

Wait, what? I'm confused on what you're saying in your last statement.

Im sayin two things

■ that male rape victims are continually laughed at if they try to tell somebody
■ Also I feel we need to discuss male rape as well as female in this topic

Male rape is laughed at? What planet are you from?

The same one you are lok up some accounts

Female rape has been laughed at soooo I can believe male rape could be.

Um…alright.

Not really seeing anything that tries to discount the idea of male rape. It happens.

@Kay

The concept of anyone laughing at rape seems absurd to me. I mean, I believe it happens, but is it really so common?

I'm not sure if it's common... but, doesn't the idea of rape on general seem absurd?

Absurd is the wrong word to use. It's not absurd, but it's definitely sickening.

Its sickening I know.

Rape is a dellicathe thing. Each is different. And people have different opinions about it. Plus, I don't want to victim blame, but if more people would report the crimes in a timely manner, there would be more rapists in jail

Yes, that's true. A lot of rape incidents aren't even reported.

...There is so many things that comes to mind when i think about RAPE.... its the most degrading thing that can happen to a woman... you feel your whole body taken over by somebody,you loose control over your body and just lay there till they are through,then you beg to be let go and promise to not say anything so they can just free you without harming you.... then the worst part of it is that you cant really report it because of the stigma because once you go to the police station, you are already judged by them and they ask humiliating question just to quench their perverse curiosity... you cant really tell your friends because you don't want them to pity or (in worse case) look down on you, all this contributing factor messes with your mind and it just shuts down temporarily till you regain your composure...
... while all these are happening to you, the perpetrator walks around free as a bird while you struggle to not freak out when a man walks by you.
my point is , it isn't fair how to world treats rape victims, sth should be done about it. Sth severe... am thinking 50 years to life imprisonment

Chi wrote: "...There is so many things that comes to mind when i think about RAPE.... its the most degrading thing that can happen to a woman... you feel your whole body taken over by somebody,you loose contro..."

it's even harder for men. we live in a world full of misogynists, when such a thing happens to a man, it's harder to deal with.

I disagree. As a man, I really disagree.

Khalif wrote: "Chi wrote: "...There is so many things that comes to mind when i think about RAPE.... its the most degrading thing that can happen to a woman... you feel your whole body taken over by somebody,you ..."

Rape is rape for both a man and woman. its hard on both sex. no one wants to be in that position . my point is that there isn't any easier way in handling it.

its honestly in the victim's court on decided if they deserved it or not. yes some girls are dressed really inappropriately but it usually is for attention which in that case if they think they deserved it because they were asking for attention but some don't.

liz wrote: "its honestly in the victim's court on decided if they deserved it or not. yes some girls are dressed really inappropriately but it usually is for attention which in that case if they think they des..."

I don't think anyone "deserved" to be raped, honestly. Some girls may dress super slutty, but unless they literally say, "Let's have sex," no, they were't "asking" for it.

And I think rapists, sexual predators- they're so nasty and... so many umm... words that I won't say, they pick the least confident looking woman to rape.

I don't mean like actually deserved it...just some might've subconsciously found wat they were looking 4

liz wrote: "I don't mean like actually deserved it...just some might've subconsciously found wat they were looking 4"

Okay. I wasnt saying you were wrong!

@Liz

Are you saying that women who are dressed "inappropriately" are looking for sex in the first place, but that is getting confused as "asking to be raped?"

If so, that's an interesting perspective I haven't heard on the Internet.

I think what Liz is saying is that everything we do opens us all to some form of negativity from others. You wear expensive clothes, you'll get robbed. Though you didn't want it, it still happened. I think that even if a woman dresses like a nun, there will still be something that draws a rapist to her, and we may never find out what that may be. Yes, dressing provocatively does open one up, but it still isnt the victim's fault and no one thinks it is.

i know its our right to say anything we feel but damn people.. WTF.. it shouldn't matter what you wear or how you dress, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE RAPED.
P.S, BOYS ARE RAPED TOO,SO ARE YOU SAYING THEY ALSO DRESS PROVOCATIVELY??. its because of things like these that make the victims withdraw and don't press charges.
blame shouldn't be spread around to make it lighter and less bad.

@Chi

Blame-placing is bad, huh? Then why are you blaming "people like us" for the fact that people don't press charges?

@taylor... I mean when they try to blame the victim because of what he/she wears or says. It isn't right . Sorry if you misunderstood.

Right. And you're blaming the people who blame the victim, saying they're part of the problem. Which I'm not okay with.

Miss…Waitwhat? [Taylor] wrote: "Right. And you're blaming the people who blame the victim, saying they're part of the problem. Which I'm not okay with."

I think she's just stating her opinion like you stated yours. No harm done. Youre both blaming someone.

Martha wrote: "I dont think it matters what you wear, if a man wants to rape a woman he is going to because it is an act of violence."

Yeah I agree with this.

@taylor.......okay???... i don't really get why you are so upset. are you saying it is right to not blame the people that blame the victims or rape (sexual assault or molestation)or am i missing something entirely

@Chi

I'm not upset. Just pointing out that you're making a huge assumption as to why rapes aren't reported. You said it's because of the things said about the victims. "She was asking for it" and such.

That's stupid. Just like rapes happen because of the rapist, they aren't reported because the victim doesn't open their mouth. So who is at fault for a lack of a report? The victim.

@ taylor... ok

It doesn't help the that some people view rape as the victims fault.

Oh, this is a subject that I have wanted to rant on for a long time...and now I don't know what to say...

@Taylor Well, how about when the rapist threatens the victim to keep their mouth shut. That man was capable of raping me, and who's to say he isn't capable of more. He could come back at any moment and do anything. And then there are the rapists who keep their women hostages like little playthings and rape them whenever they feel. What about them? It's pretty fucked up that these women have no way of contacting the police, and for some reason the rapist not going to jail was somehow their fault! They have no contact to the outside world, and are being unwillingly made to have sex with some bitch. I just think it really is never in any form the victim's fault.

You're talking about a situation different than I am, though. The people who are kidnapped and held hostage CANNOT say anything. The people who are just raped by a stranger and then left simply DON'T say anything. Blame it on rape culture if you will, but people need to learn to overcome that shit. There will be douchebags who say things that might make the victim feel judged, but they really ought to get over it and recognize that reporting it is the thing to do.

Guys I would like to say that I'm about to start a huge rant. Here I go,

Rape should NOT exist. Period. It is NEVER okay. Period. It should be brought to more people's attention. It happens every single day. While I'm ranting about this someone somewhere is probably getting raped. And what will happen? Most likely nothing. NO! NO! NO! This has GOT to stop. NO ONE should ever get raped EVER. I am against it so much the thought of someone getting raped makes me want to vomit. It disgusts me. If I swear if I see a rape, my friend tells me about one or in the off chance it happens to me I WILL tell someone. I don't care what it takes. I will scream it if it comes to that. It repulses me. And the thing that repulses me about it most is, (if you do not believe in God then ignore this part) God put sex on the Earth to reproduce NOT for millions of people to be FORCED upon it. I cannot stand it. I honestly think I would start beating someone with a stick if they had raped someone. I don't care if it was freaking Obama! I would beat them with a stick until they bled and cried and begged for mercy. I DESPISE it.

Okay I think I'm done.

@racheal... That's so true. I believe what you say but here in my country, it's not so easy to report rape esp. If it was done to you by someone influential and powerful.. You know .., it isn't easy, you are going to be ostracized. And it doesn't help if he threatens you and you are sure enough that he is gonna keep his word cos that's how and who he is... That's my own contribution.

@Chi
Understood. But please spell my name correctly. it's R-a-c-h-e-l. Sorry it's just a pet peeve of mine.

@RACHEL.... So sorry , thought it was Rachael. So sorry . :)

@Chi it's cool.