Fandom-pocolypse discussion

*sighs* I don't have any, Im too...dampened...by haters

How do you know there's a soprano at your doorstep?
(view spoiler)[She can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in (hide spoiler)]

How many oboists does it take to change a lightbulb? (you have to know oboists to get this)
(view spoiler)[Only one, but you need at least forty lightbulbs. (hide spoiler)]

What's the similarity between an elephant and a grape?
(view spoiler)[They're both purple, except for the elephant (hide spoiler)]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE IT!!!! FELLOW MUSICIAN!!!

Yeah my mom plays the oboe and she can never find the right reed. Ever. And she's playing in this orchestra with me when I go on tour to China and she's like "I have to make all the reeds perfect now and save them until July" and I'm like "your a madwoman. you're more pazza than the Pazzi"

I actually got all of those from this really eccentric conductor of mine...

They all seem to be eccentric, don't they.........I play French horn, by the way

Cool :) I played this french horn sextet at camp (string quartet but we had a bass player instead of a cellist and two french horns) and the french horn players were so full of themselves... I don't think you're like that, though...

Yeah but this guy was especially so! He was like really weird and his name was Mr. Rudolf (like the reindeer but spelled differently) and like... I don't know how to explain it he was so strange.

It's okay, I know a loooooot of French horns who are super full of themselves. Like taking your spit slide out and swinging it over everybody, raining down glorious spit on everybody, whilst yelling "MARDI GRAS" continually

Magic Merlin Winchester-Sam is awesome wrote: "It's okay, I know a loooooot of French horns who are super full of themselves. Like taking your spit slide out and swinging it over everybody, raining down glorious spit on everybody, whilst yellin..."

Yeah our coach (not conductor cause it was a chamber group) said "Ok now only the string players" they would start playing because they were like "We have strings!"

I'd always say "In your dreams" even though I know that French horns technically have strings....

That's why we sounded pretty bad at the concert.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MswWbu...

I'm first violin :) I'm a lot better now though.

:)

WHAT HAPPENED TO JOKES MY FELLOW MINIONS?!?

El oh el. I'm just kidding! Nice ones, by the was Emma!

Thanks :) my eccentric crazy conductor told me them... Yeah he didn't even know who I was. Which is strange cause conductors tend to love me.

Mine loves me... And makes fun of me occasionally, but NOT in a bad way. In that band-conductory kind of way.

:)

Yeah Im like BFFs with (concertmistress to) the Julliard pre-college orchestra conductor and this guy who plays with the Met Opera.

*swoons* Lucky duck!

Yah I also know the Egyptian minister of antiquities because he has a crush on my cousin

:o

Yah it's weird

Someones got connections.

Yaahhhh I do.
So if anyone needs a mansion to stay at in Egypt or wants to pay a personal visit to Tutankhamen...

You are soooo cool :)

My favorite orchestra songs so far are danse bacchanale and infernal dance and finale. But Im a 13 year old, so what do I know...

So am I ;)
I like the overture to L'italiana in Algeri, Beethoven's piano concerto #4 and his triple concerto, Die Fledermaus, Le nozze di Figaro...

:)

Jokes!

Music jokes:
Don't be fa, be fi!
If you get it, you are amazing. If not, (view spoiler)[fa is like a thumbs down, and fi is thumbs up. (hide spoiler)]

:)

What is the difference between the men's final at Wimbledon and a high school choral performance?
(view spoiler)[The tennis final has more men (hide spoiler)]

Hahaha I see...

What do you do to a magpie that swoops you?

?

You take revenge on its babies...

:D

OMGS!!!

An onion just told me a joke. I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry.

How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb?

(view spoiler)[just one. She holds the lightbulb and waits for the world to revolve around her (hide spoiler)]

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a deck of cards.
Sit down, and I'll deal with you later.

Doctor Doctor I feel like a spoon!
Sit there and don't stir.

Doctor Doctor I think I'm invisible!
I'm sorry, I can't see you now.

Two F clefs walk into a bar. They look around, and all they see are G clefs. One F clef says to the other, "Let's get out of here. These guys are nothing but treble."

Why is six afraid of 7?
Multiple answers:
Because 7 ate 9
Because 7 is a registered six offender
I assume it is because 7 is prime number, and prime numbers can be intimidating.

Not exactly a joke, but...
The drama teacher that directed the play at my school was only hired this year, so for us seniors, she only has this one year to get to know us. She was pretty emotional about this on the final night of the fall play, and she said "Why didn't you enter my life earlier?" and one of the seniors said "Because we didn't want to ruin it for you."

Don't talk to a mathematician about infinity.
They'll just go on and on

why did the chicken cross there road?

Everyone knows that. It's to get to the other side. But do you know why the gum crossed the road?

It was stuck to the chicken!

There once was a snake named Nate. He lived by a lever that must never be touched, for it you were to switch it on, it would end the world. One day, Nate decided to cross the road that the lever was next to. Once he was half way across, a car came. The car saw both Nate and the lever. If he were to not hit Nate, he would swerve and hit the lever, thus ending the world. So, the car ran over Nate, because it was "Better Nate than Lever."

Ba-dum tsss