Me Before You Re-read discussion

It's still hot here in New York, but yesterday was the last official day of summer, so please forgive me if I seem a little slow and sentimental. I also spent the weekend revisiting Louisa and it was like seeing an old friend after a long absence. How I'd missed her kooky, matter-of-fact attitude!

The first time I read in such a rush to KNOW WHAT HAPPENS that I didn't notice that Louisa Clark and Will Traynor--as different as they are--have one thing in common: circumstances have forced them both to rethink who they are and who they are capable of being. I won't compare losing a cafe job to becoming paraplegic, but I think everyone can relate to losing something important--a job, a friend of family member, or even (as in Will's case) one's own identity--and having to make a fresh start.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation like Lou's? Is losing a job necessarily a bad thing? And whether you're re-reading or this is your first time, what strikes you most as we begin our journey?

Having had to choose a different path on a number of occasions due to circumstances beyond my control I don't necessarily think that losing a job is a bad thing, although it can be traumatic.
I have to say that I find Lou's parents less than supportive and the way that they dismiss her abilities is awful. I know what it's like to be made to feel worthless and I really feel for her.
I can understand where Will is coming from. When you have something taken away from you that means so much it can be hard to accept and the fact that other people's behaviour towards you changes due to that makes you even more isolated.

Yes, Lou's parents certainly are less than supportive, Readsandeats. Especially since they depend so much upon her income.

That is another thing that struck me. I had somehow forgotten that Lou is older than Katrina (Treen). I'm the youngest sibling myself, but I can imagine how galling it would be to grow up in someone's shadow--particularly if that someone were your younger sister!

I think early generations of parents thought it was okay to have a "favorite" child, but now our understanding has evolved and we understand how destructive it can be to play favorites.

Yes, Lou's father is pretty insensitive. It makes sense that Lou wound up in a long-term relationship with someone as patronizing as Patrick. He sounds like he might have been nicer before he took up running, but his fitness craze has turned him into a narcissist. Clearly, Lou hasn't been raised to have a sense of her own self-worth.

The story really is such a clever twist on a fairy tale like Cinderella. Will is the "prince" who lives at the castle, but it's Lou who arrives--in her charity shop clothes and glittery tights--to rescue him!

Patrick is a self absorbed prat and Lou should get as far away from him as possible. I think the only things Patrick is capable of loving are his running shoes!!

I think part of the problem with Lou's upbringing is that Treen was the one thought to have the most to give in the academic sense and that seems to be what her parents have focussed on. Could this be because they themselves didn't have the education they wanted or were unable to get and therefore want better for both their girls?

I have to agree with the above sentiments on Lou's family... what a dysfunctional lot! I truly feel for her. I hadn't thought of it yet, but yes, it is a clever twist on the Cinderella story.

I'm thinking that while Lou lost her much beloved job, it was perhaps the universe's way in nudging her along on her path forward. She seemed to have gotten complacent -- and while it isn't the ideal situation, she will be forced to grow and learn something about herself.

Life has funny ways of presenting us with these "learning" opportunities when we least expect them!

And, I can't stand Patrick!

Patrick certainly is awful! But he also reminds me about so many of my friends' boyfriends and girlfriends that I absolutely couldn't stand. People who were so awful that I couldn't believe that someone as awesome as MY FRIEND would date them. Yet, having had one or two awful boyfriends myself, I remember that my friends' opinions couldn't convince me to break off the relationship.

With jobs and relationships, we often do get in a rut and it takes something catastrophic like getting fired or getting dumped to give us perspective--and a kick in the pants to realize that we deserve better.

Lou really is an everywoman in that regard. Much as we want her to realize she deserves better, we can all relate to feeling too comfortable and safe in a situation to leave it!

Julie wrote: "Yes, Lou's parents certainly are less than supportive, Readsandeats. Especially since they depend so much upon her income.

That is another thing that struck me. I had somehow forgotten that Lou i..."

There are a couple of things I can contribute to this discussion. One is that over 10 years ago, I had to stop working and go on disability. It was devastating. I identified myself with my career (I think most people do), and aside from that, I thought of myself as a nobody. Now, while my career wasn't as exciting as Will's was, to find myself without an identity (except maybe that of a disabled person) shook me to the core. So as far as that is concerned, I identify with Will (losing a career) and Lou (feeling like a nobody).

The other thing I'd like to add is that I have always been overshadowed by my younger sister. She's a much stronger personality than I am. (The way I mean that is isn't necessarily a good thing, if you know what I mean. ;) ) But I identify with Lou feeling a bit overshadowed by Treen. I get it.

Julie wrote: "The story really is such a clever twist on a fairy tale like Cinderella. Will is the "prince" who lives at the castle, but it's Lou who arrives--in her charity shop clothes and glittery tights--to ..."

Great insight! I hadn't thought of that.

Laura I can identify with what you say. I too have had to give up work due to ill health and you become very isolated and it is an effort to see friends and sometimes it is you who initiates contact, not them. I can understand how Will feels and am not sure what I would do if I was in his situation.
I was not overshadowed by a sibling but by a cousin who I was compared to by teachers, so know exactly what Lou feels.

I can completely identify with what Laura and Readsandeats are saying. I wasn't sure if it was a distinctly American habit of investing too much of our identities in our jobs, but ME BEFORE YOU made me realize that it is much more universal. Through choice and circumstance, I've had to reinvent myself a couple of times and it's difficult to start from scratch! On the one hand, I feel that Will is extremely fortunate to have his wealth to support him, but clearly his entire identity is bound up in his ability to do and be something of a superman.

One thing I wanted to say about Treen: I'd honestly forgotten that it was Treen's idea to make Will feel like life was worth living. It is thoughtless and irresponsible of their parents to make Lou feel like a second-class citizen--and of Treen to expect Lou to make sacrifices on her behalf--but I wonder if Lou would have thought to try and change Will's mind on her own.

I am not sure that Lou would have had the confidence in her own abilities to begin with to try that but there is a definite change in the way she thinks about herself and what she can do as the story progresses. It is good to see how she progresses and I just hope it continues in the sequel - I would hate to see her go backwards.

I agree what you say about Will and it makes him a shallow person to begin with, but it is nice to see the change that Lou brings to him.

Readsandeats wrote: "I am not sure that Lou would have had the confidence in her own abilities to begin with to try that but there is a definite change in the way she thinks about herself and what she can do as the sto..."

I think all of us want to see Lou move forward. I won't give too much away, but AFTER YOU presents a very real picture of a woman who is simultaneously grieving and searching for her place in the world. However, Lou is very much the Lou we all came to love in ME BEFORE YOU!

Everyone at some point in their lives in searching for their place in the world and it must be even harder when you are grieving and coming to terms with judgement and recrimination from your family.

Readsandeats wrote: "Everyone at some point in their lives in searching for their place in the world and it must be even harder when you are grieving and coming to terms with judgement and recrimination from your family."

[SPOILER WARNING: DON'T READ THIS IF YOU'RE STILL READING ME BEFORE YOU]

That's exactly it, Readsandeats! In AFTER YOU, Lou is grappling with her grief and renegotiating her relationship with her mother--who can't forgive Lou's role in Will's choice. Then a figure from Will's past jolts Lou out of her doldrums and brings her back into contact with both her own family and the Traynors.

I'm very much looking forward to reading, After You.

Melissa wrote: "I'm very much looking forward to reading, After You."

It is wonderful and very real! I won't give too much away, but we get to see how the choices--large and small--that each character makes towards the end of ME BEFORE YOU plays out.

I am looking forward to it as well.

Now that I have finished MBY I can't wait to read After you! I have an inkling of what it's going to about since I read a review on it, shame on me.

Dara wrote: "Now that I have finished MBY I can't wait to read After you! I have an inkling of what it's going to about since I read a review on it, shame on me."

That's okay, Dara! We knew what was going to happen in ME BEFORE YOU, but the true delight lay in reading about how it unfolds.

Julie wrote: "Dara wrote: "Now that I have finished MBY I can't wait to read After you! I have an inkling of what it's going to about since I read a review on it, shame on me."

That's okay, Dara! We knew what w..."

You are absolutely right!!! Even though I knew how Me Before You was going to end I still fell in love with it and the characters!

Speaking of characters does anyone else try to put a face with the characters when they read books? I don't know if its because the new Steve Jobs movie is coming out or what but I kind of imagined Will to look like Michael Fassbender and Kate Winslet as Lou!

Yes Kate Winslet for Lou, I am unsure for Will. I can normally picture characters but he is hard for me.

I've been thinking about this a lot: who would make a good Will...

I'm thinking Dan Stevens (he played Matthew Crawley in Downton Abbey).

Melissa wrote: "I've been thinking about this a lot: who would make a good Will...

I'm thinking Dan Stevens (he played Matthew Crawley in Downton Abbey)."

Oh Dan Stevens would be a good one!