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Wordy, Modérateur d'un.
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Sep 10, 2015 04:50PM
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Here's one of my many poems that I have written. We were being told one by one to say goodbye to this stranger we had never come across before.
I said a goodbye filled with so much distance, that it felt like I was on the other side of the world.
Pinned to the ground by security for trying to run, I faltered. That slow, bricks attached to feet dream run.
A familiar shopping centre that pops up from time to time. The place we said goodbye.
He was crying, in the bathroom, naked. He was dying and I didn’t know how to stop it. I was told to say goodbye and so I went to but I didn’t actually say it.
I witnessed a man I had never met crying and pleading with something intangible and I had no idea what I should do.
I walked out of the room in a daze. He’s probably dead now.
— A Goodbye For A Stranger
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We were being told one by one to say goodbye to this stranger we had never come across before.
I said a goodbye filled with so much distance, th..."
Your poem is amazing. I actually wanted to cry. It was great. I loved that you were able to tell a story while expressing emotion in your poem. I personally find it very hard to write a poem that tells a quick but sound story. Excellent poem!
Thank you so much! I find that story telling through poetry is my personal style. This one was actually based on a dream I had the other night. I have really weird and vivid dreams so it gives me something to write about!
I am actually publishing my very first poetry book called 'Top Hat & Time Tales' in October of this year. It will be available to purchase on Amazon if you are interested.
broken bottles in hotel room walls Grass shoots, burning flaming fire ring hoops. You hung up the phone and left the cord dangling. With pill bottles and empty shot glasses smashed in to the walls of your hotel room. Wondering how you felt, I knew, I knew you. I am stood here with your bleeding heart waiting for you to beat it back in to your chest.
“Take a look at the
old man over there.
His wife has just forgotten
who he is. That teenage girl by the wall, she has just lost her mother.
That young man tapping on his leg, he’s battling with crippling anxiety about having to go in to a shop.
That young girl just lost her teddy bear.
That shop assistant who snapped at you, her parents just got divorced.
That girl with glasses,
I’m here and I’m writing about it all.”
This poem has no name
Mod
That teenage girl by the wall, she has just lost her mother.
That young man tapping on his leg, he’s battling wit..."
I enjoyed this poem a lot. As I read it, I thought there was a sort of rhythm to it.
Here's the link to my writing....would love some feedback....https://www.goodreads.com/story/list/...
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I think she is pretty good of a singer to mention something about her. Whether you disagree or not, she does a great job at telling a story in her songs. Maybe you have a hard time writing a meaningful song? If you do, then she is one of many artists you should take inspiration from. I'm not saying she is the best songwriter to take inspiration from but she is good enough to be considered.
I get a lot of inspiration from music as well; some songs that remind me of my stories are epigraphs in them.
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That's cool that you use some songs as epigraphs. :)
If you want to check them out, here's the link to my writing:https://www.goodreads.com/story/list/...
I've got a book out.https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2...
I'm proud of it as a first novel, but I wouldn't write a sequel without heavy changes to it, which feels like cheating (I'm 20-something thousand words into my next unrelated book)
