Dreamspinner Press discussion

Meet Stephen Osborne author of "Rat Bastard" this Saturday, March 22nd from 5-8pm EDT/2-5pm PDT right here!

Hello, everyone! Stephen Osborne here to chat with you wonderful folks about my new book, Rat Bastard, or Weasel, or the Duncan Andrews books, or anything, for that matter! Feel free to ask questions at any time!

Just to get things started, here's the blurb:
Patrick “Weasel” Weasley is worried he’s not spending enough time with his new boyfriend Tony, now that they are living and working in different towns. He decides the best way to cement the relationship is to buy Tony a ring for Christmas. Unfortunately, Weasel's evil stepfather--a rat bastard if ever there was one--has cut him off without a cent, and he is left with no other choice. He must (gasp!) get a job!

Weasel wouldn't mind working at the Phantom Lady Inn if it wasn't for Tony's ex-boyfriend Gates Stumpenhorst, who wants to beat the stuffing out of him, or Cicely Talbot, a writer who believes she can prove to Weasel that he's not really gay. As if that wasn’t enough, the deputy sheriff thinks Weasel is the local arsonist. Adding to their troubles is a rumored Phantom Lady haunting the inn and pilfering trinkets. With all this going on, Weasel might not live to survive Christmas, much less find time to go on a date with Tony!

Anyone out there? Am I doing this right? Hello?

Good afternoon! You're doing it right, I promise.

How long have you been writing professionally and which of your books is your favorite?

Hi, Stephen! When did you realize that Weasel's story would become a series?

Thanks, Andrea! I wrote my first book, South Bend Ghosts (a nonfiction tome published by Schiffer Pub.) back in 2009. My first novel to be published was Pale As a Ghost, which Dreamspinner put out in 2011. My favorite is the latest, I think. Rat Bastard.

Hey, Koosebane! Thanks for the question! Weasel's one of those characters that keeps cropping up in my head. While Rat Bastard is a sequel to Pop Goes the Weasel, I don't think you have to read them in order. It's not that sort of series. I suppose when I got a lot of lovely comments from readers that fell in love with Weasel, I had the confidence to share more of his exploits! Of course, Weasel has readers that don't like him as well. I guess he's one of those guys you either love or hate!

I read the blurb about the Inn and it sounds good - haven't read your work before and I'm looking forward to it.

Here's a little snippet from Rat Bastard:
“Hello, Mr. Patrick,” she said.

Nearly everyone calls me Weasel, in no small part because my last name is Weasley. Friends all call me Weasel. My boyfriend, Tony, calls me Weasel. At least, I hoped he was my boyfriend. More on that later. My mother calls me Weasel. Hell, even some of my professors call me Weasel, usually in conjunction with the words “You’re late again” or “And what’s your excuse this time?” or “If you had a brain in that skull of yours, you’d know.” Two people I’ve never been able to get to address me by the preferred nickname are the stepmonster—a lost cause, I suspect—and Rita. I can’t even get Rita to drop the Mister bit. I know she means well, and she says it out of respect, but it makes me feel like I should be wearing a suit and working at a bank, eying frightened clients over half-moon glasses and saying “Now, about this loan application….”

I gave Rita a peck on the cheek, something she pretends to dislike but always makes her blush. “Hello, dollface. What’s new?”

She touched her cheek where my lips had recently been doing their business and furtively looked around to make sure no one had spotted the action. Satisfied she wasn’t going to be fired for making out with the son of the household, she said, “Nothing’s new, except your mother has taken up painting nudes and has models coming into the studio and standing there for hours without a stitch on while she stares at them and—”

“Really? That old dog. Still, you can’t blame her. Having seen the stepmonster in all his glory, she probably feels the need to be reminded that the human form isn’t as bad as all that. Good lookers, are they? Maybe I should poke my head in and—”

I started to move for the hall, but Rita held up a restraining hand. “Mr. Jasper is waiting for you up in the den.”

“Ah, yes.” Thinking about male models in the buff had temporarily forced the reason for my visit out of my mind. “In a good mood, is he?”

Rita looked glum. “When I saw him earlier, he was smiling.”

That was bad. When an ogre of Jasper Dollings’s caliber sports a grin on his mug, someone is about to land in the soup. People like him only smile when plotting the demise of the good and worthy, and if they’re having a good time, it’s because they know they’re about to pull the wings off some unsuspecting fly or kick a Girl Scout and steal her cookies. If Daddy Dollings was up in his den grinning like a tiger being offered a slab of meat, it didn’t bode well for yours truly. I took a deep breath and squared the shoulders. “I guess I’d better go up, then. My will is in the safe in my bedroom, under my Spider-Man comics and my old Pokemon cards. Wish me luck.”

“Good luck, Mr. Patrick.” She said it like she meant it.

I hope you enjoy it, Andrea!

The Phantom Lady Inn depicted in Rat Bastard is based on a real place...far from Byron, Illinois, though. It's based on a place I researched and visited for my book South Bend Ghosts, a lovely place called the Inn at Aberdeen in Crown Point, Indiana!

Which idea came first? The visit or the research? Sounds like a perfect combination.

I like to visit places that have a reputation of being haunted, but I knew I was going to write about the Inn at Aberdeen before I went there. Luckily, they were great people and liked the idea of being put into a book...not everyone likes that kind of publicity!

Stephen wrote: "I like to visit places that have a reputation of being haunted, but I knew I was going to write about the Inn at Aberdeen before I went there. Luckily, they were great people and liked the idea of ..."

That surprises me!

A couple of years ago I wrote another book of ghost stories and legends and people were much more open to being in a book. Times have changed!

Here's another snippet from Rat Bastard, a scene at the Inn between Weasel and a co-worker:
I spent my first hour studying. I spent my second hour playing solitaire and reading more of The Hound of the Baskervilles. (Watson was spending his nights at Baskerville Hall watching strange lights out on the moors and listening to dogs howling.) Mandy, having pretended to clean rooms and dust, decided a chat was in order, so she leaned against the counter and smiled at me. She was shortish and had an ample frame and chewed gum, which she smacked every now and then.
“You’re kind of cute,” she said.
I set my Kindle aside. “Thank you.”
“Got a girlfriend?” There was a hint of a tiger in search of prey about her.
“Boyfriend,” I said.
“Oh,” she said, her smile faltering a little. “You’re one of those.”
“If by one of those you mean one of the fabulous, then yes.”
Mandy gave a tiny shrug and let out a sigh. “All the really cute ones these days seem to be gay.”
“We planned it that way. All part of our nefarious plan.”

Stephen wrote: "Here's another snippet from Rat Bastard, a scene at the Inn between Weasel and a co-worker:
I spent my first hour studying. I spent my second hour playing solitaire and reading more of The Hound of..."

Weasel sounds like quite the character!

Weasel is based in part on my friend Matt. Like Weasel, Matt is a 21 year old college student who has a gift for gab and a skewed way of looking at things. Both are also prone to getting into trouble!

Got another excerpt? I enjoyed the last one.

Hey no wonder I couldn't find you. I wasn't a member *doh*

Are there more Weasel stories planned? Please say yes.

Yes. And yes. I think the next Weasel tale will be called Snake in the Grass.

Yes!!!! so happy to hear that. OK when? lol. Seriously have you already started or just kicking around ideas?

Still in the plotting stages, but it's getting there.

Here's another excerpt:
By five o’clock, I was putting the last key into the last guest’s hand, and Jake sauntered up. “How are we doing?”
“We,” I said, “are doing pretty good, both yours truly and the inn. Every guest has paid and been scooted into their room, and as soon as your uncle gets down here to relieve me, I’m off to have one heck of a night. All in all, a really good Friday.”
“It’s Saturday, you doofus.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“It is.”
There was a calendar on the desk, which I consulted. I didn’t like what it told me. “It’s Saturday.”
“Kind of what I was trying to say.”
The heart became leaden. “I’m supposed to go out with the dreaded Cicely tonight.”
“Condolences.”
“I don’t want to go.” Especially as I’d just made a date with Tony. Choice: go out with a semi-insane, clingy female who you don’t even like and frankly terrifies you, or a gorgeous guy who you have high hopes for a meaningful relationship with. Not much of a choice.
“Don’t go,” Jake suggested.
Good advice. My hand started for the telephone. “I’ll call and cancel.”
“I would.”
My hand hovered over the device. If I broke the date, it would get back to my stepfather. And he would go ballistic. And he’d withhold that moolah of mine. My fingers twitched, wondering what all the hovering was about. I still hesitated. Did I have any options?
Could I possibly do both?
“You’re not phoning,” Jake noted.
“I’m thinking.”
“Don’t strain yourself.”
Was it possible to do a short date with Cicely and then have a long, enjoyable one with Tony? Maybe a short dinner with Cicely, and during said dinner come up with an excuse to cut the night short and then go see Tony. Oh, I’d make it possible. “I’d need a really good excuse,” I said aloud.
“Dead grandmother? That’s always a good one.”
“She would tell Dollings, and he’d do a quick count of the grandparents and find that they’re all alive and accounted for.”
“Tell her you’ve fallen down the stairs. You do that a lot.”
I shook my head. “She’d want to come and nurse me, kissing the bruises. No, what this excuse needs is a heavy dose of reality. The best excuses are rooted in the truth.”

Back to waiting I guess

I love Weasel. I thought after the first book he would make a great movie, but I'm not sure how they would get Weasels brilliant thought process to come across.

Stephen wrote: "Still in the plotting stages, but it's getting there."

How long does it usually take for you to write a book?

3 months or so. Some go faster than others. The two Weasel books have gone quickly, mainly because I can just ask myself, "What would Matt say in this situation? What would he do?"

Yeah! Weasel would make a great movie! Let's get on that! What's Steven Spielburg's number?

I think he really would. Book one played out in my head like a movie lol.

The last time I think I laughed so much reading a book was Steve Klugers Almost Like Being in Love.

I love the Duncan Andrew books, but Weasel is my favorite.

Do you have anything new in the pipe line? Any new characters clamoring for attention?

He's my favorite, too, Deeze (don't tell Duncan, though!). I just like the way he thinks.

My current WIP is called Things the Grass Already Knows. It's all new characters, set in a gay bar in Springfield, Illinois. It's kind of a musical comedy without the music!

After that will be Weasel 3, if people want it! Around August, the 4th Duncan Andrews, Dead End, will come out. I think I'll wait to see if it pisses people off too much before I think about continuing that series!

Sounds interesting lol.

Stephen wrote: "After that will be Weasel 3, if people want it! Around August, the 4th Duncan Andrews, Dead End, will come out. I think I'll wait to see if it pisses people off too much before I think about contin..."

I haven't read it - why would it piss people off?

Well, one of the characters undergoes a major change. It was one of those things that had to happen to get to the ending I wanted, but you know some people won't like it! Story-wise, though, it had to happen so that we could get to the end of the whole "Will Robbie cross over?" thing.

If you kill off or change a major character drastically, some people just aren't going to be happy, even if it furthers the plot!

Can't please all of the readers all of the time lol.

I admit I'm kinda nervy, but then I'm also not really sure in what direction I want that series to go lol. Will just wait and hopefully be pleasantly surprised.

Oh and speaking for this people YES!!!! I want Weasel 3 :P

I think you'll like it, Deeze! In a minor way, it's kind of the Team Robbie or Team Nick thing. Judging from what people have told me, though, Team Robbie seems much bigger! Poor Nick!

Yeah I don't think I can really pic a team lol. As soon as I think I know which one I want something happens and I change my mind lol.

Honestly, I didn't know myself! It wasn't until book 4 that I knew how it was going to end up, and, strangely, it was like everything was leading up to it like I'd planned it all along!
If you can't make up your mind, I'll take that as a compliment that I've written some mind-twisting books.

I really like both Robbie and Nick, although for some reason Nick lost points in book 3 but I still can't really decide. So I'm looking forward to having you decide for me lol.

I think I'm going to have to read about Robbie and Nick. You and Deeze definitely make them seem like fun.

They are great books Andrea. I wonder how you will feel about Daisy's little habit lol.

My time here is almost over. Here's one more excerpt from Rat Bastard. Here, Weasel is hiding in his closet while Cicely is naked in his bed.
“I’m here to transform you.”
“Exqueaze me?”
“Oh, you know. Make you see the light. Get you over this fixation you have that you’re gay.”
“I am gay. It’s not a phase or a fixation. And I’m not having sex with you, so put that thing back on and get back to your own room.”
Her lips did the pout thing. “Are you going to come out of there?”
“I’m fine here. Best option I have at the moment.”
Finding pouting didn’t work, she tried seduction. Sitting up farther, she let the bedsheets fall from her upper body, exposing once again her small but admittedly perky breasts. She cupped them in her hands, pointing them at me like they were dangerous weapons. Which, I suppose, they were. “Don’t you want to fondle these?”
I did the only thing I could. I closed the closet door.
“Patrick! Come out of there!”
“No.”
“Come out here and have your way with me!”
“Really, really no!”
The pout returned to her voice. “Doesn’t the sight of my body excite you?”
“Strangely enough, no. Hm. Guess I really am gay. Sorry and all that. My goodness, look at the time. Guess you’ll be wanting to go back to your room now and get some sleep. I know I’m pretty tired.”
“Dammit, Patrick! Come out here and ride me like a wave!”
“I didn’t bring my swimming trunks. Honestly, Cicely, I’m not interested. Go away!”
“I can see,” she said, “that I’m going to have to take the initiative.”
“What, coming to my room and depositing yourself au naturel in my bed wasn’t initiative enough?”
She was quiet, I can tell you that. I hadn’t even heard her slip out of bed and pad across to the closet. The first indication of imminent danger I had was the click of the doorknob, and then it was too late. Cicely flung the door open and then flung herself at me.
Fate and I were going to have a long talk if he kept throwing things like this my way.