divide & conquer - semi advanced discussion

Amber sighed as she entered the library this was the only place she felt safe from the hustle and bustle of everything that's going on in the palace. She couldn't help but to feel all the stress of her siblings. I just need to take a breath and think about things. She thought to herself not knowing that her mother was going to check up on her.

She was walking along a shelf and looking at all the titles of the many books that have been living on the shelf for such a long time. It was one blue hard covered book that called her attention. The cover of the book read: Tales of never growing She looked down at it and got instant flashbacks of her mother reading it to her before bed.

Caroline wandered into the library a few moments later. She had seen her third daughter come in here before her and she wanted to make sure that she was doing alright. She had sensed something was bothering Amber, but wasn't going to press her. She was seventeen years old after all.

She moved through the shelves, trailing her fingers along a few of the spins before she found her. A kind smile graced her face as she approached, her pale gold dress swishing across the floor. "What have you got there, Amber?" she asked in her melodious voice, coming up behind her.

When Amber heard her mother's voice and felt the presence behind her she decided to waver a little bit before turning to face her mother. "I have been having trouble sleeping lately and decided that I would come here to read this." She said and showed her mother the book that she was currently holding in her hand.

When she saw the book, Caroline smiled. "I remember reading that to you when you were little. It was your favorite book." She gently took her daughter by her elbow to lead her over to a small bench at the end of the aisle. "Is something wrong, Amber? You've been out of sorts lately and hearing that you are having trouble sleeping worries me." She watched her with careful, love filled eyes, wanting to help her daughter.

Amber looked at her mother for a moment and sighed for a moment as she thought about all the things that have been bothering her recently. "Honestly, my lack of sleep has to do with the fact I don't want to be what I am. I have been in this state of mind for a while now and I don't know what to do." She said tears filling her eyes because she was afraid that her mom was going to yell or get angry. She feared that so much because her nightmares made it seem like if she told her mother that she would practically get disowned.

"Oh, Amber," she said softly, pulling her down onto the bench and hugging her. "How long have you been feeling this way, darling? Why didn't you come talk to me?" She pulled back and smoothed some of the hair from her face. "Darling, you know you can talk to me, don't you?" She studied her daughter closely, brushing her cheek to wipe away her tear.

"I've been feeling this way since my birthday." She admitted looking at her mother. "I don't want to be a princess anymore."She looked down feeling bad for saying such a thing but it was the truth and she had always been very honest with her mom in the past.

"Darling," she murmured, cupping her cheek. "Why didn't you come to me with these thoughts sooner? Tell me why you don't want to be a princess anymore, darling." Caroline wondered why her daughter didn't want to be who she was born to be anymore. She wished she had seen it sooner, but her duties were many and she had many children to look after. It pained her though, that she had not seen this sooner.

"I don't want to be a princess anymore because other than the fact I'm only very close to Sebastian I just don't feel like I belong here." She looked up at the ceiling and sighed,"Mom you need to understand that."

Caroline took her daughter's hand in hers and held it in her lap. "My darling, Amber. Did you know that I felt as though I didn't belong when I was younger? I was a little older than Lusca when your father and I were betrothed. He was the prince and I was to be his future bride and bare his children for him. Can you imagine the pressure I felt? I didn't speak for weeks because I was terrified of saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing." She stopped as memories came back to her. "But your father, bless him, he showed me that I had nothing to be afraid of. Darling, what I'm trying to say is that you do belong here. You are my daughter, the daughter of the king. You very much belong."

"I just don't understand how I even belong when I don't like being a princess. It was fun when I was ten years old but now I want to be something else." She added after hearing her mother's story. She wanted to know what her role in this world would be because she did not see herself being trapped in the palace for ever. "I'm sure everyone else in our family has something looking up for them. I don't think I'm counting for anything."

Caroline looked softly at her daughter. "Amber, you are seventeen years old," she told her gently. "Just starting out in life. Just because you don't think you count for anything, does not mean that you don't. You do count, darling. You just haven't found that one thing for you yet, but I promise you, you will find it."

"I hope that happens soon. I just feel at a stand still." She said looking down at the blue book wondering why she loved the story so much. "What is it about this story that I loved so much growing up?" She asked looking at her mom the way she would when she wanted her to read it to her again.

Caroline smiled and took the book from her, running her long fingers over its cover. "I think you liked it because it was about children who never grew up. They stayed young all their lives. You used to beg me to read it to you every night." She looked over at her. "Would you like me to read some of it to you? Or are you too old to have your mother read you a story?" Her voice was lightly teasing as she opened the book.

Amber watched as her mom opened the book and she couldn't help but just curl up beside her. "I'm never too old to hear you read to me." She whispered slowly relaxing leaning on her mom. She loved being around her mom because she was always so understanding.

"I'm glad to hear that, Amber." Caroline kissed the top of her head and turned the pages until she was at the beginning of Amber's favorite story. Speaking softly as she had when she was little, she began to spin a tale of wonder and children who never aged. She even remembered the different voices she had used and wove them into the story, happy to see Amber relaxing and hopefully forgetting her worries.

Amber was so relaxed now that she felt herself melt into the story just like she always had. She always saw herself as Jane the main character who was very stubborn but knew how to be kind to others. She was the Heroine of the story and that's why Amber loved the story is because it showed her that women had just as much power as men do.

Caroline continued to read until she finished the tale and smiled down at her daughter who seemed to be falling asleep. "Amber, darling," she murmured to her. "Wake up. Why don't you go take a nap?" She stroked her hair gently and closed the book, setting it on the window ledge. "I'll put the book away."

Amber woke up and streched a little before getting up to head to her bedroom. She was drowsy but she still knew how to walk. "Love you mom." She said before walking out of the palace library and walking toward her room.

"I love you too, Amber," Caroline said, smiling as she watched her go. She stood up and straightened her skirts before grabbing the book to put it away. She wished that she could solve her daughter's problem, but there were somethings that she would have to let her decide for herself. She could not always be there to make the decisions for her.

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