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Cʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀs > (♟) The Rebels

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message 1: by [deleted user] (last edited Nov 24, 2015 03:45PM) (new)


I ᴡɪʟʟ ᴡᴀᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʀᴋ ᴇʏᴇs


Uɴᴛɪʟ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ ɪs ᴏᴜᴛ


Sᴀᴠᴀ "Hᴜᴍᴍɪɴɢʙɪʀᴅ" Lᴀʀɪɴ Fᴇɴᴢ: Lᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴏғ Rᴇʙᴇʟs

Hɪsᴛᴏʀʏ

Sava's traumatic past lead her to becoming the rebel leader. When Sava was 12 her family was kidnapped by thief gangs. Sava survived by hiding in a cupboard. When they left Sava got out of the cupboard, got food, and went back in it when she heard footsteps. The thieves came back up and took all of the valuables then left. Sava spent one night in that cupboard before she came out of it. When Sava came out she saw her house taken of everything. But Sava didn't scream because the thieves could come back. Sava gathered food and other supplies she would need and put them in a backpack. Then Sava silently climbed out the window and onto the ground because their house was on the first floor. When Sava left she ran towards the square. Sava saw a man tied to a pole awaiting his execution. Sava looked away. Sava was tired and exhausted so she sat down in a alley to rest. And then a man came over to her.
"Girl, do ya know how ta fight" Said the man.
"Ummm. No." Said Sava.
"Well ya oughta. Dese streets are insane." Said the man. "I'll teach ya right now. Get up."
"Sir I'd rather not." Said Sava.
"Well a guy would pay a pretty price for ya." Said the man. That got Sava to say yes. Days passed by as the man trained Sava to fight. 2 months into it and was already a amazing fighter. One day the man left. All that was left of him was a note that said she was a great fighter and didn't need him anymore. That gave Sava confidence. So the next day Sava went to the street fighting arena. They asked for a name and Sava said Hummingbird and went to her first fight. At her first fight Sava played weak so that the other fighters would go easy on her. At her next one Sava used her true talents and knocked a man unconscious. Her prize was a dog who she named Falcon. She and Falcon were became very close to each other. It was perfect. But when Sava turned 20 Falcon was getting weaker and Sava was becoming better and better at fighting. Sava was becoming a threat to the other street fighters. So one of them, The Haze killed her dog and scarred her left leg. When Sava woke up she found The Haze with a dagger over her neck. She punched him and almost killed him.
"A thief gang never killed your parents. A gang only took the valuables. The kingdom did because your father stole the princess's favorite necklace, so they tracked you guys down and kidnapped your folks,your mom's a lady know, their execution, was in the square 2 months and 3 days before you came to us." Said The Haze. She could be safe. If she didn't hide. But she would do something better.
"How do you know all this" Asked Sava.
"Because I dreamed of the Herondale's ruling to come to a end." After he said that 20 year old Sava killed her first man. A day later she started The Haze's dream.


Pᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ

Sava isn't a nice person. Her gaze is judging and cold. If she doesn't want you on her side she'll kill you. Some say she is heartless. But Sava can have a kind side to. If she doesn't yell at you or look at you like you are worthless she trusts you a lot. She has a love for all animals because of Falcon and makes sure the rebels have a lot of animals and treat them kindly.

Oᴛʜᴇʀ


Sᴇxᴜᴀʟɪᴛʏ: Straight
Hᴀʙɪᴛs: Bites inside of her cheek
Lɪᴋᴇs: Winning wars and her knives
Oᴜᴛғɪᴛs:

Pᴏʀᴛʀᴀʏᴇᴅ ʙʏ Jᴀᴅᴇ Wɪʟʟᴏᴜɢʜʙʏ

♠ Fᴇᴍᴀʟᴇ ♠ Lɪʙʀᴀ ♠ Cᴏʟᴅ ♠ Aʟᴡᴀʏs Jᴜᴅɢɪɴɢ ♠ 34 Yᴇᴀʀs Oʟᴅ ♠ Oᴄᴛᴏʙᴇʀ 19ᴛʜ ♠ Bʀᴏᴋᴇɴ Bᴏɴᴇs

Tʜᴇᴍᴇ Sᴏɴɢ:

(view spoiler)


message 2: by sucre'd fiend (new)

sucre'd fiend (sucredfiend) | 71 comments Mod
I know I'm not a mod
but why would her father have attempted to kill the queen?
and I'm positive he wouldn't have just gone home after that; they would have killed him much sooner and likely more publicly so that he'd be made an example for attempting to kill a queen
and how does a pretended silver necklace pass a series of inspections that would have been done to be sure that it was silver?
the owner would likely killer her for trying to screw him over
not give her $400 for her time

you've also given no real sequence in time, so it seems like most of this stuff happened while she was still 12


message 3: by [deleted user] (new)

sucre'd fiend wrote: "I know I'm not a mod
but why would her father have attempted to kill the queen?
and I'm positive he wouldn't have just gone home after that; they would have killed him much sooner and likely more p..."


I edited it.


message 4: by sucre'd fiend (new)

sucre'd fiend (sucredfiend) | 71 comments Mod
A public killing = a public execution
he'd have been imprisoned beforehand, as well
meaning no "thief gangs"
and her mother wouldn't have been killed either


message 5: by [deleted user] (new)

sucre'd fiend wrote: "A public killing = a public execution
he'd have been imprisoned beforehand, as well
meaning no "thief gangs"
and her mother wouldn't have been killed either"


Did it. Hope it's good now. Thanks for the constructive criticism.


message 6: by sucre'd fiend (new)

sucre'd fiend (sucredfiend) | 71 comments Mod
if the father offended the royals in the newspaper, he wouldn't be killed
maybe imprisoned for a few days or fined at least
but not killed

also, even if they did have him killed, which they probably wouldn't, they, again, would not take her mother. Only the father had perpetrated the "crime" and would therefore be the only one punished.

And the royals likely wouldn't be hiring gangs with they have guards and such.

And why would she take up the goal of someone trying to who maimed her and killed her dog?


message 7: by [deleted user] (new)

sucre'd fiend wrote: "if the father offended the royals in the newspaper, he wouldn't be killed
maybe imprisoned for a few days or fined at least
but not killed

also, even if they did have him killed, which they probab..."


I changed it. Also how would it make sense if he knew all this info?


message 8: by sucre'd fiend (new)

sucre'd fiend (sucredfiend) | 71 comments Mod
since when did thieves get executed?
I remember from history that some punishments were the removal of hands


message 9: by [deleted user] (new)

sucre'd fiend wrote: "since when did thieves get executed?
I remember from history that some punishments were the removal of hands"


Thieves of the royal family could get executed. And this is a new world. :)


message 10: by sucre'd fiend (new)

sucre'd fiend (sucredfiend) | 71 comments Mod
Did the mods decide that thieves would be executed?
I mean, it is their group....


message 11: by [deleted user] (new)

I don't know. I don't even know what this world is.


message 12: by sucre'd fiend (new)

sucre'd fiend (sucredfiend) | 71 comments Mod
Maybe wait and ask?


message 13: by [deleted user] (new)

Do you think personality is good?


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