Divergent (An Advanced Roleplay) discussion

Name: Dylan "Blue" Gus Schneider
Gender: Male
Age: 16
Birthday: 09/29
Faction before Choosing Ceremony: Erudite

Appearance:
Written Description:
Hair color: Brunette
Eye color: Blue
Skin tone: Caucasian, tan
Body shape: Strong build, athletic
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 168 lbs.
Pitch of voice: Not high, but not really low either, Alto
Other: Corrective lenses required; straight teeth naturally; long, shaggy hair; square face shape

Personality: Dylan is a naturally intelligent boy. He enjoys working towards goals rather than being handed a reward. Although his whole life has been about Erudite rules and traditions, he wants to be free from them. It's not that he doesn't like or resoect Erudite; he just needs a change. Dylan craves adventure and takes small risks in everyday life. Dylan is not the kindest person, but by no means cruel or selfish. He lies when it will benefit him or someone he loves. Dylan is generally a happy person with the occasional "down in the dumps" days.

History: Dylan has lead a very fortunate life through his childhood. His parents and siblings are supportive. The only problem is: he's a tad bit socially awkward. Making friends has never been his strong suit due to his need for winning and competition. When he was younger, he was severely bullied, not only by other faction members, but also by his own. Dylan would hide in the bathroom during lunch and recess to avoid those who made a joke out of him. He has one vague memory of being beat to unconsciousness when someone found him in the bathroom. To this day, Dylan only has one person he can talk to other than his family, and he wouldn't even consider that person a friend.

Family:The minimum requirement that you may fill out are the parents. Place deceased next to the parent if they are dead. Your character must have at least one living parent though. If your character does not have one of the siblings listed below, place an N/A. You must include the following in the family member: Name, Age, Faction, and a one sentence personality.
Mother: Gemyma Annette Schneider, 56, Erudite. Gemyma is a loving, caring mother who is very quiet around her husband.
Father: Gary Jerry Schneider, 60, Erudite. Gary is a loud, yet loving father doing only things that are for the family's own good.
Older Sister: N/A
Older Brother: Harold Peter Schneider, 22, Candor. Following the stereotype of Candor, Harold is a blunt and truthful person.
Younger Sister: Deceased; died of SIDS at 7 months old.
Younger Brother: N/A

What Faction you Character would like to go to: Dauntless
What Faction(s) Your Character got on the Aptitude Test:
What Faction your Character Chose:
Divergent: Yes

Other: Dylan does not do well under pressure. If he is likely to succeed, it would be because he feels he can relax while completing the task.

I'm not sure if the image worked...

Okay. So. First of all, I would like to say thank you very much for creating a character! Now I am going to help your character be the best it can be! First of all, there needs to be an embedded picture. No links. The History needs one more sentence. I believe I counted seven. And finally, the Aptitude Test has not taken place, therefore, you do not know what factions you got on your Aptitude Test. Please make these changes and hopefully, your character will be good to go!

Thanks! I still need to embed the picture because I'm on my phone doing this so I will get that done ASAP! :)

Okay!

Did I fix it or is there still something that needs work?

Are you able to bold what I had bolded on the chart and delete all the extra comments I had in there?

Just bold and italicize everything that should be bold and italicized and you will be good to go!