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George R.R. Martin Threads > Marry, Bang, Kill - The GoT Version

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message 1: by Walter (new)

Walter Spence (walterspence) | 707 comments Since the newest season of Game of Thrones is upon us, I thought it might be fun to indulge in a playful game of Marry, Bang, Kill. (And with regards to those gentle souls for whom ‘Kill’ is a bit on the strong side, feel free to indulge in the Entertainment Weekly alternative, ‘Marry, Bang, Intervention’ which – though less bloody – might not necessarily be more merciful.)

As the initiator of this nonsense, it behooved me to sucker some other poor soul into going first. Unfortunately, the only one awake here in my house at this time of night is the cat, who has trouble typing while hitting the Shift key. So guess who draws the short straw. Again.

Okay, Marry first. Since I sowed the majority of my wild oats in my dissolute youth, I’ll go with the elderly matriarch Lady Olenna. She’s smart and feisty, which would come in handy while navigating the family machinations of whose house to gather at during the holidays, not to mention dealing with those pesky zoning ordinances which always seem to crop up when pondering how to make a few extra bucks by turning the upstairs into a homeless shelter for morally challenged ladyfolk.

Bang? Well, there are any number of intriguing options here, with Daenerys Targaryen fronting the list. Unfortunately, cries from the lady’s tent might attract unwelcome attention, and the last thing those dragons need is to acquire a taste for long pork. So in this case curiosity trumps class with the Queen Regent Cersei winning out. When you’re that popular in the bedroom, obviously there must be something compelling for one to boldly go – well, where pretty much everyone in King’s Landing has gone before. (Chainmail Proplyactics! They may leak, but they never break!)

Which leaves Kill. Hmm. So many choices. I’ll give myself a solid here and go with Lord Walder Frey. Martin will probably end up killing this villain offstage in the books as he has so many others (if he even bothers to kill him off at all), and frankly - after watching so many of these folks literally get away with murder - I could use the catharsis.


message 2: by Kenia (new)

Kenia (risingape) Ah excellent game

So the thing is I love so many of the characters, but I am pretty much obsessed with a lot of the female characters, so with that in mind-and the knowledge that Westeros is nothing if not accepting (hah yeah) I want to Marry Daenerys. Because Dragons. Also because Daenerys is awesome but the Dragons do tip the scale quite a lot in her favour.

Shag.. hm Probably Tryion, hey he's had enough practice you know it'll be good. Although there is the worry of stds...

Kill.. who do I hate... everyone's dropping like flies at the minute, I have yet to read Dance With Dragons so maybe this person is dead now but Stannis gets my sword. Maybe that's an odd choice but all the other outright 'evil' characters like Joffrey (although...yeah) and Cersei I just love how bastardly they are. Stannis would make a terrible king, he puts out his own brand of justice which is shitty but if he stuck to it fair enough but it's not consistent, the bannermen who left Renly and joined him were deserters but he needed them so they weren't punished (that is in my mind from the show maybe it was different in the books I forget)


message 3: by Ben (last edited Apr 08, 2014 03:45AM) (new)

Ben (bennewton_1) Marry: Lady Olenna seems like a really good choice, Walter. Margaery would be good for the same reasons if not for her penchant for being widowed. I might go with a grown-up Sansa. Getting involved with an heir to Winterfell doesn't seem like a great idea but she'd be a loving wife.

Bang: Arianne Martell, for every reason.

Kill: So many possibilities, some of them are already dead but would be worth resurrecting and killing again just because they deserve it. Limiting myself to characters still kicking about as of A Dance with Dragons, I'd probably go with Roose Bolton.


message 4: by Michele (new)

Michele | 1154 comments Fun!

I'd marry Ser Jorah because I like that wounded heart thing, except he's dead gone on Dany, so my second choice would be Littlefinger because he's yummy and snarky and so sneaky and I'd just like to watch him backstab his way up the ladder of power. I dunno if I'd have sex with him very often though, I'm not very kinky. But married people don't bonk do they?

I'd like to bang Jaime Lannister, because RAWR! Oh also Mance Rayder, only because I have a thing for Ciaran Hinds.

Kill, I'd like to drown the whole Iron islands folk, starting with Theon and his bitch sister and horrible father. I hate that whole family.


message 5: by Ty (new)

Ty Wilson (ShatterStar66) | 165 comments So many possibilities on all of these. But I think I'd go with:

Marry: As much as I'd love to marry Daenerys, a couple of things would keep me from choosing her. First, I would be afraid that the first fight we'd have Drogon would take it upon himself to kill and eat me. Secondly, I'd hate to hear her compare me to her first husband. Drogo is a tough act to follow and I'd suffer greatly in the comparison. So I would probably go with Margaery Tyrell and hope that the fates, or G.R.R.M., is done killing off her husbands.

Bang: There are quite a few candidates for this one, too, although a lot of them I'd want to have tied up so that I wouldn't have to worry about them stabbing me in the back while we're hard at it. Cersei and Melisandre come to mind here. What a way to go, though. I guess I'd choose Ygritte, if only so I could hear her say, "You know nothing, Ty Wilson."

Kill: Here we have by far the most options. Walder Frey, Joffrey, The Mountain, The Hound, Catelyn Stark, Sansa Stark, Viserys Targaryen, Roose Bolton, Ramsay Snow/Bolton, Tywin Lannister, Stannis Baratheon, Melisandre, Craster...the mind boggles at the characters that have annoyed me through the books and HBO series. But the one character that has truly earned his express ticket to Hell has to be Theon Greyjoy. To spend all those years being raised by Ned Stark and then betray his family like that is just despicable.


message 6: by Rasnac (new)

Rasnac | 336 comments Marry: Daenerys. She's gorgeous, smart, strong, heir to the Iron Throne and have dragons. What mere mortal can resist?

Bang: Hmmm... This is a tough question. Westeros is full of beautiful, seductive women but I wouldn't trust any of them enough to sleep beside them. But if I have to choose one, I'd say Ygritte. Because she is "kissed by fire".

Kill: that one's easy. Littlefinger. I am really annoyed seeing that evil little snake manipulate other people's life from a safe distance and not to suffer any consequances.


message 7: by Matheus (new)

Matheus (matheuslr8) | 36 comments Bang: Brienne. I don’t care what they say about her, she is beautiful to me.

Marry: Also Brienne. What kind of gentleman I would be If I bang her and then run away?

Kill: I don’t know, I can’t think of anyone that deserves to die in ASOIAF.


message 8: by Alex (new)

Alex (eveningelevenses) | 27 comments Marry: Sansa
She seems pretty sweet, and one of the more reasonable, non-malicious women in the Westeros.

Bang: Margaery Tyrell
I hear she has skills. Skills even better than Olenna Tyrell…

Kill: House Bolton
(there are a lot of good candidates, but the house that celebrates skinning people really should have been taken care of years ago)


message 9: by Eric (new)

Eric Mesa (djotaku) | 672 comments Alex wrote: "Marry: Sansa
She seems pretty sweet, and one of the more reasonable, non-malicious women in the Westeros.

Bang: Margaery Tyrell
I hear she has skills. Skills even better than Olenna Tyrell…

Kill:..."


Sansa seems too out of touch with the world. Though maybe by the end of this season she's starting to wisen up?


message 10: by Eric (new)

Eric Mesa (djotaku) | 672 comments Dunno about the first two questions, but kill would definitely be Cersei. The way she treats her little brother is just too much.


message 11: by Cas (new)

Cas (elventempest) | 1 comments Well well well... Finally making me choose.

First, I am going to marry Jon Snow. Do not point out why this can't be. Do not. I can't explain why except I feel he would be the best choice for the job and not because he's the sexiest and also I barely feel a damn thing for him but I feel like it's the choice so there.

Then I would bang Daenerys and keep her as my confidant, and queen. Because seriously? While I was tempted to put a ring on it, I realized I'd prefer her as a lover to a mate. Just saying.

Then I kill Littlerfinger in some terrifying way. He annoys me and I do not find him appealing and that's all I can say.

I feel my answers are way too obvious but who cares?


message 12: by Tempest (new)

Tempest (tempythecleric) Cas wrote: "Well well well... Finally making me choose.

First, I am going to marry Jon Snow. Do not point out why this can't be. Do not. I can't explain why except I feel he would be the best choice for the ..."


I completely agree. Except I .. if i am being honest might just have to add Tyrion ... i just don't know where i love his character so damn much that i could over look the height difference... and i am a VERY tall woman


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