The Hopefuls discussion

I need some advice from you lovely people. On the 24th of this month I have a funeral to attend. It's for my boyfriends nan, she was 98 so when my boyfriend feels down about it I remind him how she has had a long life.
The only thing is I am such an awkward person and find comforting people difficult. I loved his nan so I will be upset myself but I know I will need to be strong for him. But I'm scared I'm not going to be very comforting, I never know what to say.

What are things I can say to comfort him and his family? What are things I can do?

Offer to help at the funeral, (not very good at this so I'll give what I can) um also, just be there for the family,I think they'll really appreciate that - remind them of happy memories, that might help - sorry its not great advice ;/

Sometimes all the person needs is a hug or a hand to hold or something along those lines. If you don't know what to say, just do that. It'll be okay.

I think Ashley is right. Hold his hand, hug him. You don't need to say something. Silence is often more hopeful than anything else :)

Thanks for your help :-) it's made me feel so much better. I guess you are all right if I'm there for him it will be a big help to him.

My grandma died last night and what I want right now is not to have people talk to me but for them to give me hugs and cups of tea. I know she had a good life and it's nice to be reminded of that I guess. Everyone's different so I don't know how you're boyfriend's feeling, just thought I'd tell you my perspective. I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you Helen that's sweet :')

I'm so sorry Jennie :( I hope you're alright *sends you online hugs*

Don't worry about it! It will be fine. On the 26th March I went to my friends mum's funeral. My friend is only 14 and I didn't know how to comfort her. I am so awkward as well but it was okay the reception thingy was good because everybody was happy sharing memories and all I had to do was meet her family and be there for my friend, I just hugged her and tried to make her smile and we just made the most of everything :-)
I was so nervous and I was so awkward but don't worry everything was okay and it will be for you too. :-)
xx

Thank you, Beth and Helen :)

Jennie I'm so sorry for your loss *big hugs*.

Thanks everyone for their kind words, I do feel better about going and think everything will be okay.

It depends on the person, at my nan and my grandads funeral I just wanted to shrivel up in a corner and not look at everyone, but everyone else wanted hugs!!! It did help though, so yeah, hugs :)

Hi Shona, I hope the funeral went ok. My grandma's was on Tuesday and it was actually quite nice, thinking about how great she was. But I'm glad it's over *huge hugs* x

Hey there! I have just set up a project called Letters of strength. I'm having some problems getting the word out there about it and am wondering can the hopefuls help me. Carrie inspired this project and I am hoping that the rest of the hopefuls out there can help me get it started. Letters of strength, is a project where I want to write to people. I'm offering people to write to me if they need a helping hand or encouragement. I have set a facebook page and am asking ye to go onto it and read the description and see what it's all about. If ye would share the page I would be so grateful. The Facebook page is called "Letters of strength". For some reason I can't link it to ye here but please search it and like it for me. I really want this project to work out so I figured the hopefuls would be the best way to get it out there. Thank you so much! :) xox

Hold his hand, give him a hug, remind him and his family of the happy memories. Just remember- it's OK to have a good cry. Trust me, I went to my grandma's funeral last week and was a gibbering wreck, but the crying helped; I felt much, much better afterwards.
Stay strong. Funerals are hard for everyone, but it feels better afterwards to know that she's well now and that you aren't the only one who

is struggling.
Sorry, I hit submit early there.

Something to mull over: grief isn't getting over a persons death, it's learning to live with it. My mum told me that and it really helped.

I went from having all my realities happy and healthy to losing 3 in a year (my nan and grandad 3 months apart) so it was a bit of a shock!!

I hope everyone who's lost someone and there family's are well.