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James over Sam

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message 1: by (╯`▭´)╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ (last edited Jan 13, 2016 03:33AM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

(╯`▭´)╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ In all honesty, the whole situation got on my nerves, for various reasons. Sarah seemed to get mad when James was overprotective, but upset when he wasn't. But I think my biggest obstacle was the fact that James, her own brother, felt a romantic love for her. I just found that really creepy. Had that not been a factor, and had he not been so controlling over everything she did-getting a license, getting a job, who she dated-then I would have said absolutely. Her brother had been there for her a hell of a lot longer than Sam had been, but also because James wouldn't let Sam be there. You could see that even when Alex seemed upset that James hadn't told him about their situation. I found James to be kind of an ass in a lot of ways, to be honest. Here he was, having his own friend group, having a relationship with Sam's mother, getting to live just a little bit of his own life, yet he wouldn't allow the same thing for Sarah, especially when Sam's mother said something about wondering how many excuses James had made in the past after he had said Sarah was allergic to flowers. And there were many times I yelled at James because he just left Sarah alone with their father, or just left her, period, and that really pissed me off. He knew what damage their father inflicted, yet he seemed to be the first one out the door, especially when things didn't go his way. So had James not been such a controlling, hypocritical, slightly creepy ass, I would have felt more sorry for him about Sarah choosing Sam. As it stands, I really don't.
Sorry for my rant. James just really bothered me in the book, for more than one reason.

*Edited*: Though the more I think about it, the reason why the book ended the way it did was precisely because Sarah chose James over Sam. She went to Sam's to break up with him and went back home, and things between her and James escalated until things went to hell. Had she truly chosen Sam instead of James, she never would have gone home. Then again, things probably would have ended the same way, because James would have tracked Sarah down no doubt, but my point is, I think she did kind of choose James in the end, only realizing her mistake when Sam and James began arguing and things ended the way they did. Plus, Sarah was constantly back and forth with her loyalty; she would choose James over Sam in a heartbeat. No, wait, she'd choose Sam over James. No, wait, other way around. She couldn't seem to make up her mind, always wanting what she didn't have, and while that might sound callous given everything that happened in the book, it felt callous. I just...didn't like Sarah much towards the end. Or James. I felt incredibly bad for them, but not much like.


(╯`▭´)╯︵ ǝɔnɒꓷ You might make several good points there. And I'm not saying I entirely disagree with you either, because it's true. I definitely do understand that James did care for Sarah all his life, protecting her in the ways only he could, and I do agree that Sam was being an instigator when he kept trying to confront James and reveal their relationship. I can see both sides. But how is Sam taking advantage of an emotionally unstable girl when James isn't? To me, making out with your sister while she's sleeping is not only incredibly creepy, but also taking advantage of somebody, especially someone you're supposed to love and protect. And I think Sam isn't the only one who betrayed his best friend, because James betrayed Sam, too. He was so obsessed with Sarah, so afraid that she would choose somebody else, that he started lashing out at Sam when he began showing interest. And do you think James did all the work because nobody was willing to help, or because he wasn't asking for it? I understand that in cases of abuse, it is incredibly difficult to reach out to somebody, because of the consequences they might face. I get that. But I also think that James was mostly keeping it a secret because he felt that he had to do it all by himself, which I honestly think started driving him over the edge. He was...how much older than Sarah? Just a couple of years? And ever since he was itty bitty, he had to watch out for his sister, watch out for his father, watch his mother slowly kill herself, worry about working, about money, about what would happen if he wasn't there. He had a lot to worry about since a young age, and he saw and experienced way too much as a child. And my heart absolutely goes out to him for that. But his affection/obsession of Sarah was unhealthy for the both of them. I just can't get past how controlling James was becoming with Sarah when he got to experience life for what it was in little bursts. He had a license. He had friends. He had a job. He went out and did drugs and fought in a ring (which aren't exactly good things, mind you.) Meanwhile Sarah had to sneak around in order to do even some of the dame things. And while I don't really agree with sneaking around and keeping secrets, and that it escalated and escalated to a boiling point, James didn't exactly make things easy on her, either. And James wasn't always willing to be there to protect her, either, when he would leave her at home or leave her behind because he got pissed off that he wasn't getting his way. Sarah and James went through a lot together, absolutely. Their feelings for each other were incredibly strong, and they were survivors for a long time. But you can't just always be survivors, you have to actually live, which admittedly sounds harsh. And that is increasingly hard for people who go through trauma, I am very much aware. But it's even harder when you don't build up a support system, when you don't at least try to move past what you're familiar with, and James was making it impossible for both of them to learn to do as such. People need other people. They need to learn to live on their own two feet, but they need to have the ability to grow and develop with other people as well, and maybe Sam might not have been the best choice, he might not have been the worst choice. But he was a starting point to a new life, and James was trying to almost keep them both in the past.


message 3: by [deleted user] (new)

Salvador wrote: "Anyone else wish she had chosen James instead of Sam?

James loved her, in the truest sense of the word. His love encompassed both aspects of familiar love and romantic love."


Agreed but clearly sarah didn’t deserve him , she was selfish and a hypocrite. He deserved to be with the one he loved though, which happened to be her.


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