Young writers discussion

If you need help with your book this is the place to be!

You can post your stories here so people can comment and make suggestions. If you are stuck with a part of your book or looking for someone to write with just post here!

I thought you guys could maybe help...I just cant seem to get this sentence right...

"Curling further into myself , trying to ward off further pain, while whimpering"

Any suggestions to make it sound better???

Wait...Wait...By George I think I got It lols...

Whimpering, I curled further into myself, trying to ward off the world around me and the pain it was causing.

That sounds much better hahaha

How about...

I curled up into a ball, whimpering, trying desperately to stop the pain that surrounded me

And that sounds even better :) thanks soo much :D

No problem ;)

Okay, I've started this story that's going to be YA contemporary and I have the two main characters, but I don't have a plot. Basically, there seems to be one main theme in YA contemporary romance which is " a girl's life is screwed, and then she meets a boy," so I'm trying to avoid that. The MC's name is Angelica and she has Asperger's syndrome.
This is the first paragraph, to get you started on how to make a plot from there:

Angelica yawns and stares at herself in the mirror as she ties her hair back and adjusts her glasses. Monday. Lovely. She knows that in comparison with pretty much anyone else's life she has nothing to worry about, but in reality she can't stop worrying about the smallest things.

That sounds really good!

I like it very intriguing.

As of suggestions for the plot ummm... IDK maybe the boys life could be screwed and when he meets angelica.and she makes it better.

As a reader of so many YA contemporary romance stories. I personally would find that interesting to read because like you said The most common main plot in YA romance is the boy being the hero and as much as like reading about a handsome boy saving a damsel in distress It would be so cool for the girl to be the hero especially since you wouldn't suspect it since she has Asperger.

Anyway that's just a thought that popped in my head. hope I helped a bit

:D

What do you, as readers, look for in a fantasy novel (or more specifically, a fantasy YA novel)?

Personally, I like to know why this is going on and maybe later in the story it would be cool if you eased bits of their last into the storyline. I like action and suspense...so....

Was just curious...if you were writing a book...would u use a real town or make one up???

I think if you know that town very well, then you should use it. And if you want to do a future world, using a real place would also work. But it all depends on what the book is about.

it depends on your story.
if you're writing fantasy you can make up towns and cities and everything else. Also if it's scifi, a story that happens in the far future.

Well mines paranormal romance...but she's in a small town...and I couldn't think of a town to use...lols

Then maybe you could just use your own.

Yeah I could I guess but the name of my town just isn't that interesting lol...

Well normal town names are pretty normal as well.
What's the name you're thinking of?

As in the made up one???

For a made up name I'm leaning towards Rachdale?
And for a small real town maybe...
La Rue Ohio
Grover Hill

That sounds a lot like Rochdale in England. It's a bit funny-sounding to me, no offense.
I've never heard of those places, but their names sound okay.

That's okay...I googled town generator and that one seemed like the most normal lols

Haha thanks Marietta for ur help...maybe I'll do La Rue it's kinda catchy :) and I'm glad u haven't heard of it...bc that means will fit perfectly into my story been a small secluded town :)

Yeah. Just make sure you're setting it in the right country, you know. Like if it's in America, then the whole story has to be set there.

I will remember that :) thanks for reminding me...gosh now gotto work on my geography skills and btw they are terrible!!!...good thing it's all paranormal and world travelling I guess...that way don't have to worry a lot about that....

Hehe lol, I'm sure they're not that bad! Yeah, just make it believable, I guess.

Hahaha I can assure u that they are lols! My mum hated teaching me geography bc I always got soo muddled up...I'm actually surprised I ever passed it haha...def not my strong suit!


Believable is def what I'm aiming for :)

Hey guys, I started writing my book but Idk if it's good or not.

This is what I got so far:


As I was walking to school, I thought about what was happening to me for the last few years. My life used to be so normal, until one day my dad left when I was twelve. After my dad left, my mom and I grew closer to each other.

It is really good! That only thing that I would suggest is that I think it started too abruptly.

Lady Malia Lindsey Kirkington Ruler of the Western Colonies of the Dancing Violins wrote: "It is really good! That only thing that I would suggest is that I think it started too abruptly."


Thank you

Your welcome

Your welcome

Your welcome

My internet is very slow and it didn't post all of what I wrote.

Now that I read it again I think that you should start by telling who the person talking is. For example: My name is ________ and then share about her history ect.

Then add in the part the you wrote. You might need to change it a little bit.

How everyone, I'm having major issues with this sentence!! any pointers to fix it...its just a hot mess atm...please help!

In the centre of the room was a massive white drawn pentagram with a circle, made out of what I presumed was dirt, around the outer edge, at each point of the star stood a tall flickering candle.

In the centre of the room was a massive white pentagram. It sat inside a circle and was presumably made of dirt. At each point of the star was a tall flickering candle.

Ohh my goodness that is like a HUGE improvement!!! Thank you soo much!! I was just completely stumped and could think of no other way to change it!

Your a legend!

oh. . . uh. . . thanks. . .

:)

Lady Malia Lindsey Kirkington Ruler of the Western Colonies of the Dancing Violins wrote: "Now that I read it again I think that you should start by telling who the person talking is. For example: My name is ________ and then share about her history ect.

Then add in the part the you wro..."


thank you

Hey guys is this good so far, is there anything I need to change?



My name is Lucina Summers, and if you think my life is normal, then you don't know the full story. For the past few years, a lot had been happening to me.


As I was walking to school, I thought about what was happening to me for the past few years. My life used to be so normal, until one day my dad left when I was twelve. After my dad left, my mom and I grew closer to each other.

Sound good!!!

Lady Malia Lindsey Kirkington Ruler of the Western Colonies of the Dancing Violins wrote: "Sound good!!!"

thanks

Hey guys, is this sentence good or not?



I then proceeded to solving the problem, and then a few minutes later, I finished solving the problem.

I think it's great!

Lady Malia Lindsey Kirkington Ruler of the Western Colonies of the Dancing Violins wrote: "I think it's great!"

thanks

❄️Mekaru Fullbuster❄️ ~sister of Percy Jackson, daughter of Poseidon, Anime is Love, Anime is Life, Anime is the World and Universe~ wrote: "Hey guys, is this sentence good or not?



I then proceeded to solving the problem, and then a few minutes later, I finished solving the problem."

I like it a lot, it is great, maybe consider deleting the second then? (It is good either way though)

Hello!
I'd really appreciate some help. I'm writing my own novel, and I think I want do multiple POVs (Point of Views) in the book.
However, apparently some readers get turned off by multiple POVs in a book.
Soooo... I was just wondering, what do you guys think? Do you think multiple POVs is not good in a book, and should be avoided? Do you like it?
Maybe in some circumstances it works? If this is the case, could you please tell me what you think the POVs should be like, if there's anything that makes them better/worse?
If you don't understand the question or want clarification, feel free to ask!
Thanks so much if you help, I'd really appreciate it :)
(Oh, and to the moderators: sorry if this in the wrong thread! I'd be happy to move it if it is)

I personally don't like multiple POVs because it confuses me, but I have read a few books that have pulled it off. I think that 2 POVs maybe 3 might work but I wouldn't do more than that. I think it just depends on the person and how good you write the story. Hope I was some help.

Arch wrote: "Hello!
I'd really appreciate some help. I'm writing my own novel, and I think I want do multiple POVs (Point of Views) in the book.
However, apparently some readers get turned off by multiple POVs..."

I don't mind multiple POV's, in some cases they can add to a story, just make it clear when you do change the pov and make it consistent (i.e. Change POV every chapter, every break in the text, or every book if you are writing a series or something ), or it can get really confusing, really fast.