The Humour Club discussion

Truth is stranger than fiction.

Perhaps.

I have an affinity for TRUTH because it's screamingly funny!

Should we make a place to post those truths that we come across in our travels?

For example:

Jay wrote: "Truth is stranger than fiction.

Perhaps.

I have an affinity for TRUTH because it's screamingly funny!

Should we make a place to post those truths that we come across in our travels?

For example..."

Good fact Jay. I will have to remember it.

And I bet no one asked the horses how they feel about it.

I say, Old Chap, is that my shadow?

Guess what?

BEE STINGS TO THE GENITALS REALLY HURT ACCORDING TO FED FUNDED STUDY

Thankfully, our government has hired scientists to confirm that bees and genitals don't mix.

Next question: What kind of (literally) screaming idiot volunteered to be the guinea pig for that study?

I'm guessing beer and a Youtube bet were involved.

Jay wrote: "Guess what?


BEE STINGS TO THE GENITALS REALLY HURT ACCORDING TO FED FUNDED STUDY"

Yeah, if bee beards aren't extreme enough . . .


You can always go lower . . .

Reminds me of the song, "It's gonna take an ocean/of Calamine lotion..."

Joel wrote: "Reminds me of the song, "It's gonna take an ocean/of Calamine lotion...""

And perhaps an EpiPen.

"A free press needs to be a respected press." - Tom Stoppard








"Stupid is as stupid does." - Forrest Gump

"I still have a path to the nomination!"
-John Kasich

Those bee photos make my skin crawl. I'll probably have nightmares.

I'm not sure if this one qualifies as:

A) If the younger generation seriously thinks this is a talent, then we have every right to be worried.

-OR-

B) Really, REALLY too much information.

-OR-

C) The dumbing-down of the media has no limits.

So It Seems You Can Unlock Your Cell Phone With Your Penis

What's the verdict, 'A', 'B' or 'C'?

I guess that's one way to ensure NO ONE ever wants to borrow your phone to make a quick call.

All of the above.

See this ladies!!

I told you that guys were happy when they get just a little attention.

Okay, listen up teenagers!

Self-preservation - GOOD

Burning to death - BAD

There will be a test.

Found this one online. There certainly does seem to be a modicum of truth in there.

Smile, officer!

Naked Sleepwalker Tries To Get Selfie With Police

TIP: The sleepwalker is the one out of uniform.

Scohol crossing in Florida

It's not just a Florida thing--my kids' middle school had a crosswalk that read: "SCCHOL."

Well, at least the authors can claim that 'thay gradeated.'

Lisa wrote: "It's not just a Florida thing--my kids' middle school had a crosswalk that read: "SCCHOL.""

Isn't that a type of chewing tabacco? ;)

What a time saver if only that were still true!

Jay wrote: "What a time saver if only that were still true!


"

Are you trying to rile me up, Jay? I still can't figure out why I have so much laundry to do. I swear sometimes I think my kids are stealing the dirty laundry form the neighbors just to keep me busy.

No brainer:

Works for me!

The Complete List of Lewd-Sounding Town Names in America:

http://blog.estately.com/2016/09/the-...

Wankers Corners? Seriously, Oregon?

Three Way, Tennessee is another option.

I've actually been to Intercourse, PA.

The earth did not move.

Melki wrote: "I've actually been to Intercourse, PA.

The earth did not move."

I heard that's why people are moving to Three Way.

Em wrote: "I heard that's why people are moving to Three Way."

Hehehe! Good one!

ADULT TOWN NAMES - Yes, Virginia, it's risque.

Well, Fertile (IA) Loveladies (NJ),
Intercourse (PA) and Three Way (TN) aren't Boring (OR). Why (AZ), you might even find a Husband (PA) who places Sweet Lips (TN) on a lovely Sugar Tit (SC). And Whynot (MS), it beats Loneleyville (NY), sitting in a Condemned Bar (CA) hitting The Bottle (AL). That road leads to Cranky Corner (LA), and occasionally, Hell (MI). So, don't be Chicken (AK), and Do Stop (KY) by. You don't need a Coupon (PA), and it needn't be an Accident (MD). Avoid the Tightwad (MO) and seek a mate who's Brilliant (OH) and Wealthy (TX), or even a little Peculiar (MO). You'll likely find this Rough and Ready (CA) individual claiming Imalone (WI) with Bird in Hand (PA) and at least one Blue Ball (PA), dreaming of a Dish (TX) who will arrange a Rendezvous (WY) and Kissimmee (FL).

Nothing (AZ) is Uncertain (TX) here. A man's Pee Pee (OH) is often Erect (NC) as, by nature, he permanently resides in Horneytown (NC), thinking of Oral (TN), Boob Creek (AK) and the occasional Spread Eagle (WI) Hooker (AR). Of course, Hookersville (WV) is not the only sure way to Climax (GA). As gentlemen were once Virgin (UT) themselves, they have no aversion to visiting females in Virginville (PA), seducing them away from their Dildo (Newfoundland) and introducing them to Fucking (Austria)...with a Condom (France), of course.

Let's be honest, no man is content going Halfway (OR). We all imagine Cumming (GA) with a good Knob Lick (MO), and more. But fairly, most gentlemen who stroll down Gropecunt Lane (England) and receive a Big Bone Lick (KY) offer a fine Clit (Romania) a Beaverlick (KY) in return.

Truth or Consequences (NM), male or female, we all like to get a little Nasty (England), and so—no harm in asking. One never knows which lady will take a Cockup (England).

Oh Poop (Mexico), Jay. You have so much Talent (OR) I feel almost Bitche (France). Wawa (PA), right? But still Laughlin (NV) here. What Cheer (IA)!

Jay wrote: "ADULT TOWN NAMES - Yes, Virginia, it's risque.

Well, Fertile (IA) Loveladies (NJ),
Intercourse (PA) and Three Way (TN) aren't Boring (OR). Why (AZ), you might even find a Husband (PA) who places ..."

Thanks, Jay, for that wonderful list. How long did it take you to compile it?

You mention:
we all like to get a little Nasty (England)

That is a small place in Hertfordshire, about 20 miles south-west of my village. Nearby is the village of Ugley, where there is reputed to be an "Ugley Women's Institute" (branch of the WI).

These villages provided a local newspaper reporter with the classic headline: "Nasty man marries Ugley woman".

Martin wrote: "These villages provided a local newspaper reporter with the classic headline: "Nasty man marries Ugley woman"."

Great headline! Definitely a contender for a Top Ten List.

So far, my all time favorite was from the NY Post:
"Ike beats Tina to death."

You left out one of my favorite town names: Humptulips (WA).

Lisa wrote: "You left out one of my favorite town names: Humptulips (WA)."

Humptulips, well, together with Dosewallops, was my justification for naming the fictional WA island in my mysteries Pismawallops.

Fortunately, we can always rely on the scientific community to find indisputable evidence.

The happiest day of my...AAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!

The miracle of modern medicine comes through again!

Weird is not a human-only quality.

Okay, maybe going to the optometrist eight times in one week is a little excessive, but...

The perception is the reality...er...uh...no it's not!




Thirty years from now, he'll be telling this mommy story to his shrink.

Advertising...it's an art.

Want to hire a totally honest employee?

Rule Number 1: Never trust your brother with the laser pointer.

Survival of the fittest.

Jay wrote: "Survival of the fittest."

That's as mesmerizing as Pizza Rat.