Young Beginner Writers (closed) discussion

I can't come up with a title for my book... Give me a sec... Need to copy and paste the description. Also want to know what you think! Would you read it?

A large storm cloud has been stretching over North America and has recently touched Hartford Connecticut. The Riggs family is getting slightly scared of the upcoming storm.

Thirteen year old Piper Riggs is even more terrified when she meets Ceanon Laceby, a girl her age. Of course, Ceanon isn't your usual girl, she’s an elemental.

There’s a war breaking out over the elements and its up to Piper to stop it. Or who knows, it might hurt the people she loves most. If she can't do it, it'll be all her fault…

Don't mind the spelling mistakes if there are any

Ooh, the synopsis for this is INTRIGUING! I can't wait to see what you have!

Coralie wrote: "Ooh, the synopsis for this is INTRIGUING! I can't wait to see what you have!"

Actually, I'm planning on publishing it. Do you have any ideas what to call it?

The Elementalist? Raging Sea? Water War? I hope those help. : ) Good luck with your story!

Lorien wrote: "The Elementalist? Raging Sea? Water War? I hope those help. : ) Good luck with your story!"

You have something there... Not quite there, but almost... Thanks for your help!

By the way Ceanon is pronounced Shannon. I just thought it'd be a cool way to spell it!

I like Elemental. Or something to that effect. Bring out what's unique to your plot and use that as your title.

I was wondering how you would pronounce that! Neat name!!

Currently proofreading the really important chapter in my book. Then I'll show you guys cuz I need a title desperately!

This is the second chapter of my book (plz help with the title!) and here is the quick scenario:
Piper Riggs has Red hair and Purple eyes and she wakes up after a frustrating night with her parents.
It's Quinn and Finn's (her little brothers who are twins) birthday. All the Riggs except Piper has brown hair and green eyes. But Piper's little sister (Sierra who is five years old) has dirty blonde hair.

Now for the story

Chapter two

I walked downstairs before breakfast, expecting the worst from my parents. I sat down at the table and waited for my cereal to be put in front of me. My red hair was still knotted, my purple eyes were puffy from sleep. The only thing normal about my appearance were my shirt and shorts.

Sierra sat beside me, she was still half asleep too. Our brothers were wide awake in front of us, they were battling over who got to play on their iPad today.

I heard the swooshing sound of my mom approaching. Her arm reached in front of me and placed a plate in front of me and retreated to her spot at the table to Sierra’s left.

I cringed at the meal, French Toast, “Mom, I don't like French toast.”

She smiled innocently at me, “I know, but it's Finn and Quinn’s birthday today, so I'm serving their favourite breakfast to every one.”

“Their favourite is waffles,” I told her.

“Well, Piper, they asked for French toast.”

I rolled my eyes, my brothers did that to annoy me. My dad took his place to my right. He gave me one of his sympathetic, “Morning, sweetie. Good talk last night. How are ya feeling?”

“I'm fine,” I mumbled.

He grabbed my arm sympathetically and said, “That's good, honey.”

I pulled my arm away and stood up, “I'm gonna take the dog for a walk.”

“Okay,” mom said, “Where is Ernie?”

“I think he’s by the door,” Quinn said.

I turned to walk away but mom grabbed my arm, her sympathetic smile made me want to strangle her, “I think it's great that you're getting up.”

I pulled my arm away, I always took the dog for a walk after breakfast!

I walked to the front door and saw Ernie, the cute little Beagle. He sat, clearly anticipated our morning walk. His tail started wagging when he saw me. I smiled, “Go get your leash, boy!”

Ernie hurried away, returning a few minutes later with a bedazzled purple leash between his teeth. I pulled it out of his mouth and clipped it onto his collar. I turned the doorknob and pulled the door open. I studied the surroundings eagerly. I was excited to leave the house. I gripped Ernie’s leash firmly and walked out the door.

We walked down the driveway and passed my dad’s 2010 Ford Focus car. It was a little run down, but fine. The dog was pulling and tugging, trying to sniff the tree, “No, boy.” I said.

We continued our walk onto the sidewalk and I instantly forgot about my parent troubles. I loved being outside. The feeling of the wind around you, the smell of the freshly cut grass.

A few houses away from my own, I felt a small tap on my shoulder. I turned and saw a girl, a little younger than me. She had almost black hair that touched her hips. Her eyes were purple as well and she looked scared, although a smile was on her face.

"Uh, hello… Are—are you uh, Piper? Piper Riggs?”

“Yeah, I'm Piper,” I said, “And you are—?”

“Ceanon Laceby,” she said, sighing with relief that she knew who she was talking to, “Most people spell my name S-H-A-N-N-O-N but it's really spelled C-E-A-N—uh, anyway, that's not important. I was told to find you at number 52 Parker Drive. But you weren't there. Then I saw this red head girl walking down the street so I followed. Uh, well, I was told to look for you!”

“And why is that?” I asked, trying to hide my confusion of this stranger some how knowing me.

“Uh, well,” Ceanon said, “You know that storm cloud that's coming over here? Well, I know the reason behind it—“

“What’s the reason?”

“It's because of you,” Ceanon said.

My eyebrow raised, “I-I'm sorry?”

“Well, there’s a war going on with the elementals—“

“The what-now?”

"Has no one told you?" Ceanon looked shocked.

“Uh, no.”

“You're not human, Piper Riggs,”

"What?" I said, who was this kid? Why was she telling me this? She has to be mental!

“Before you say it,” she interrupted my thoughts, “I'm not psycho. Basically, you were given away at birth to your current family. Now, we kinda need you to come back to the Celestial City to put an end to our world.”

“What?!”

“I know, I know, it's confusing and scary coming from some one you’ve just met, and considering I suck at explaining,” Ceanon stepped back, “Let me show you that it's actually real.”

She grabbed my hand and muttered, “Lux!”

My surrounding melted away with light, Ernie was barking furiously by my side. The light twisted and turned and formed a large, bright city. The grass under my feet were neon green and soft as ever. The air was so pure you would feel complete. My head was spinning when I saw a city in the distance made entirely from golden bricks.

Ernie wouldn't stop barking at these new surroundings. Ceanon looked scared by the noise he made, “Oh no! We need to get him to quiet down.”

“Ernie! Pipe down!” I said to my dog who fell silent.

The trees stretched over me, taking away the summer heat. A cool mist blew on the back of my neck but I had no idea where it was coming from.

“Where are we?” I asked, my eyes on the city ahead, “How did we get here? What's happening? When did—“

“Listen! I told you back in the Banned District, er, I mean America! We're in the Celestial City! We got here by Light Lifting!”

“Isn't the Celestial City heaven?” I asked.

“No, this ‘heaven’ you speak of is somewhere else. The Celestial City is where Elementals live,” Ceanon explained.

“What are Elementals?”

“Well, you're an Elemental,” she said, “So, basically, we all have an element that controls us. Me, for example. I'm a water elemental.”

She moved her arms in front of her and flicked her wrist. Water came shooting out of her fingers directly into my face.

“Aaaah!” I screamed, rubbing the water out of my eyes, “What was that for?”

“Sorry!” Ceanon apologized, “My aim isn't very good.”

“That's all right, I guess,” I said.

“Okay, well back to the war explanation,” she said, “The elementals are at war. That's why the cloud is covering the earth. You have to put a stop to it.”

“Why me?” I asked, rubbing the water off my face with my shirt.

“I don't know,” Ceanon shrugged, “That's what the prophecy said.”

“What's the prophecy?”

“No more questions! I have to get you back to your house in the Banned—er, America!” She said, grabbing my arm, “I need your promise that you

Oh no... Hang on... My stories to big

won't tell your mortal family!”

“Oh, trust me,” I said, “I don't tell them anything.”

“Alright, Piper,” she said, “Let's get you home.”

I grabbed her hand, “Tenebris,” she said. All of a sudden, I was standing in front of my house, Ernie at my feet. Ceanon was nowhere in sight.

Any ideas for the title?

Wow, I love it so far! For a title, maybe, like, 'Battle of the Elements' or 'The Elemental War' or something like that. Maybe just 'Celestial City'. I don't know. Feel free to alter them if you like the sound of one of them :)

The title has been decided:
The book in which Piper Riggs lives in is now called...
Drumroll please!
Badabadabadabadabada BING!

The Clash of Light (The Elemental Series #1)

Cool, I like it!

I think the title for the series fits the story. Good job!

I really like the title and story idea!! :)

Sounds great! It has a very professional sound to it, you know, like a published book.

Thanks!

Wow I love it so far, well done! Also I like the elemental or something along those lines for the title really brings it out. I want to buy this book !!!!

jackie . nyx wrote: "you could use a bit more feelings and thoughts to your dialogue to make it more YA ish? just my opinion, it's really well written and the concept is great! hope this works out for you <3"

Actually, my book is Middle Grade not YA. But thanks! I hope it works out too!

jackie . nyx wrote: "Ahh well in that case it's absolutely wonderful!"

Thanks!

love the title