Writingtowne discussion

Post rough drafts that haven't been touched with an editing pen here, if they are considered poetry.

Since no one seems to be biting, I have written two quick poems for revision. They're kinda sad, but oh well that's poetry for ya!

Isn't it
Clear
?
Isn't it
Plain to
See
?
That I,
Alone,
In this quilt of
Blue
Is what your words made-
Is what you made me be-
"Shut up"
"Go away"
"You can't win"
My clear voice
Is now so
Raspy
And choking.
My manifest sadness
Is
Because
Of
You,
Dear Anxiety



I wish I was better at writing.
That my words actually
Spoke.
That they
Rang
Like bells
Instead of breaking china.
I wish my tears
Somehow
Turned into
Magical words that
Pierced
The hearts
Of
Readers,
Not my spirit.
I wish I had variation-
That
Everything
Was spontaneous and I'd be
Okay
With that
So I could better see
My journey, my story.
I wish that
Stars
Were really there to help you
When you needed something
Instead of
Disappearing
Like
Everything
Seems
To do.

First Poem-
Wow. Just wow. You conveyed the emotions perfectly, and as we read through each verse we wondered what might be causing you so much sadness and pain. And at the end- two striking words: Dear Anxiety. This might be a sensitive topic for many people , but you kind of just put it into a poem for everybody to understand .
For a long period of time, I actually struggled with Depression , and I completely understand the feelings.
Second Poem-
The struggles of writing and putting pen to paper, and the ever-lasting yearning to be a perfect writer, all put in a single poem. I loved it.

Thanks! To be honest, I'm not the best at plot or dialogue so poetry is so something where I can do anything I want :)

@Pie
First-
Going to be honest: I didn't love the beginning. But the ending! I love it when poems end with one or two words that make it all clear.
Second-
This one I loved straight from the beginning because, being a huge reader and writer, I could instantly relate. The first verse made it obvious what it was about, which I guess some would say isn't the point of poetry, but I really liked it anyways.

PS
When do you put "anyways" vs "anyway"? Always with an S? Always without? My English teachers could never tell me. Does anyone here know?

What didn't you like about the beginning? I may try to fix it!

"Anyways" is considered more slang and you will almost never to see it used in newspapers or professional things. I use it all the time though, even if it isn't proper. It's slang because "anyway" is an adverb and adverbs can't have plurals :)

What I didn't like about the beginning was that it said "Isn't is clear?" and as a reader I guess I was a little confused at what it meant. I didn't get a chance to get a feel of the poem straight away.
About the "anyways" question: Thank you so much, Pie! That has been bugging me for years!

My favorite types of poems to write are the ones that rhyme. I forget what they're called, but I've written a few and today I've chosen one to share with all of you.
Okay. Here we go:

It’s Coming, I Know

There’s a raven–or maybe a crow,
That follows me everywhere I go.

This bird makes me nervous, it makes me scared.
I feel really unprepared.
I know it’s coming, I can feel it in my mind and heart.
You may think me mad but in fact I’m just very smart.

I can feel the earth and all living things,
I can feel the raven’s pulse, and the beat of its wings.
All of this is like music in my head.
That is why I know I’ll soon be dead.

I really like your poem! I felt like the rhyme of "unprepared" felt a little forced. In the first stanza, I think you could take away the second "it's" too. I do really like the while raven/crow theme though!

Thank you :)
I took out "it's" like you suggested and I do feel it's better. I don't know what to do about "unprepared" though. Sometimes writing in verse is hard.
I feel really poetic today, and I actually took out some paper and a pencil and just started writing down poems that flow into a story, and I'm surprised at how easily I'm writing it! Depending on how it goes, I might put it on Wattpad.

You should! I might try to write some more and make sort of a collection I guess. Wattpad also has contests, so it would be really cool to enter.

Wait what? They have contests!? Definitely need to check that out! :D

They're called "the Wattys". You don't win anything but special recognition, but your story will get more reads most likely.

Sadly they already ended September 1st, however I'm sure there are other accounts on Wattpad that host contests.

Really? Darn. There's always next year.

It might be a little better, however, to start working on a book for the entry this year for 2017, since more developed stories usually win and there's a category for "Completed Stories." . :)

Pie wrote: "Since no one seems to be biting, I have written two quick poems for revision. They're kinda sad, but oh well that's poetry for ya!

Isn't it
Clear
?
Isn't it
Plain to
See
?
That I,
Alone,
In this ..."

I have tears in my eyes... I understood each word. It touched me to the heart. Pie, your writing is the best. Simply beautiful <3

Thank you so much! It means the world to hear someone say that.

Your welcome =)

I hung,
Suspended,
A few feet off the ground.
Tied around my ankles,
A rope
Thick and strong.

Tired.
Confused.
And just plain
Scared

Didn't know
Where I was
Or how I'd gotten there.

I LOVE IT! Sorry about not having bad things to say but you can take that anyway you want.

Goodreads has poetry competitions. What do you guys say about entering one that we pick as a group so we can kind of "bring home a win" for all of Writingtowne? I mean entering more than one might be better though. Thoughts?

Okay.

Where do you find the information about the poetry competitions? I can't find it :(

I don't know if you get emails with the newsletter from Goodreads, but it mentioned something about them in there. There is a group called ¡ POETRY ! that has the contests and is partnered with goodreads. The September one has ended but the October will be open shortly I believe.

Okay thanks Pie

Like a massive beating heartbeat,
They run as one.
Like a raging storm,
They challenge the wind.
Like a thread of smoke,
They pound the earth.
Like a sea of grass,
They crash on the land.
They are wild.
They are free.
They are fierce.
They are un-tamable.
They are the essence of Thunder themselves.
They are many,
And yet they are one.