We Are Unique discussion

Got any good Puns or jokes? tell them here.

How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?

The bow is moving.

XD

Why did the piece of gum cross the street?

It was stuck to the chicken's foot

Neath

---- (I'm here)


Where am I?

I'm underneath

Lol!

My science teacher does lots of these with us for like the first five minutes of the class every day to "get our brains working".... I'm pretty sure it's to start the day off punny

Ok I'm definitely going to sleep now

My brother is always saying puns and jokes but I can't think of one right now....*sigh*

Why is ancient history so boring?
cuz the teachers tend to Babylon

GingerQueen wrote: "Why is ancient history so boring?
cuz the teachers tend to Babylon"

I grinned like a manic when I saw that

I like that lol. My history class is learning about ancient civilizations. We just finished Babylon.

((this is for Americans like meh))

We should all just slow down and take our time
Because we are Americans, not Russians
Rush-ans

࿅ ❀ || qυєтzαℓqυєєη || ι'νє gσт тнє мαgι¢ ιη мє , '¢υz єνєяутнιηg ι тσυ¢н тυяηѕ ιηтσ gσℓ∂ || ❀ ࿅ wrote: "((this is for Americans like meh))

We should all just slow down and take our time
Because we are Americans, not Russians
Rush-ans"

OOH

my science teacher tells us that one all the time. he's crazy about terrible puns

wow, you should tell him some terrible science puns back

i have none ;)

I can try to find some

lol XD

most of the time we just smile and nod awkwardly

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, but then it hit me.

Yeah...it happens to me with other things;) one time, I was in church and I got tired so I went to lay my head on the bench in front of me. My head banged loudly on it cuz I thought it was further away than it actually was.

Shaylee wrote: "I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, but then it hit me."

Lol XD

Shaylee wrote: "Yeah...it happens to me with other things;) one time, I was in church and I got tired so I went to lay my head on the bench in front of me. My head banged loudly on it cuz I thought it was further ..."

XD

Anarchy a.k.a. Foxy, Slenderman, and Kazuto. wrote: "Really racking my brain for the answer to your friend request system and I don't even know. I tried looking it up on the internet and I honestly don't even know what to look for. *shakes fist in th..."

huh? meh? oh i meant to change that...

lol

ill change it XD

What it the favorite game on Navy ships?

Seamen says

Those who wear sleeveless shirts like to defend the right to bare arms


XD

Most teenagers find a lecturing parent hear-resistable

I'd tell you my puns, but they're quite tearible.

What instrument does the skeleton play? The trombone.

Okkk I have a ton of skeleton puns.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Cause he had no-body- to dance with!

Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.

the Artful Dodger {~on hiatus~} wrote: "Really Dumb Store labels:

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (too late )

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (thank you..."

omgomg omg hahaha

the Artful Dodger {~on hiatus~} wrote: "45 Funny things to do in an elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without g..."

Parafox you are the nutcracker *tears in my eyes from laughing* you're cracking me up

How to learn to be a cat (made this up right now, no copy plez ;P you know how I am about my work)

Watch a cat

Drink from the toilet

Listen in on other people's conversations (because your hearing is amazing)

Be the first in line once you hear the food being served (because you love food and your hearing is amazing)

Sniff everything

Rub up against the walls, floor, everywhere. You're marking your territory by leaving your scent everywhere.

Plunk your face into your bowl and ignore your utensils. Lick the bowl clean

Lick yourself ALL THE TIME

Lie down on the middle of the couch and take up all the space so no one else can sit down

Claw the couch, blankets, tables...

Dig your nails into other people when you are around them (this is sometimes called 'pinching' but that is not the correct term! It's called hugging with your fingers)

Hiss, yowl, and/or growl threateningly at anyone who is upsetting you

Turn around in a circle as if you had a tail (technically you do have a tailbone)

Stretch with your butt in the air and your arms extended

Show your sharp teeth when you yawn!

Cover the blankets with artificial feathers and/or hair

Wake up at around noon

Wail / Yowl until someone gives you food

Nap all day

Bite people who are being mean to you (or pulling your tail...haha)

Sleep curled up on your pillow

Use the litterbox...sometimes

Walk on all fours

Eat stuff you aren't supposed to (ex grass, chicken meant for your owners or your siblings, etc.)

When others are doing something, walk into the middle of it and incite chaos

When others are playing a game, move their pieces so they don't know where they were and/or walk all over their board (if it is a board game)

Establish your dominance (CAT FIGHT!)

Protest LOUDLY until you get your way

HATE. WATER (for most cats. one of my cats actually loves water)

Leave "gifts" everywhere so others step on them (ex litter from the litter box)

Headbutt someone until they pet you

Cats don't itch themselves. They get others to do it for them. Therefore, have your friend/other person scratch your back until you are satisfied (or use a table corner, wall corner, etc.)

and most of all...

MEOW

My doctor took one look at 
my gut and refused to believe that 
I work out. So I listed the exercises 
I do every day: jump to conclusions, climb the walls, drag my heels, 
push my luck, make mountains out of molehills, bend over backwards, run around in circles, put my foot 
in my mouth, go over the edge, and beat around the bush.

Ha. That's a good one, Jacob😊😃

thanks



A gladiator was having a rough day in the arena—his opponent had sliced off both of his arms. Nevertheless, he kept on fighting, kicking and biting as furiously as he could. But when his opponent lopped off both feet, our gladiator had no choice but to give up, for now he was both unarmed and defeated.

Hah, funny

There was a man who entered a pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

I was watching a marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another as an egg.

I thought, Now, this could be interesting.

࿅ ❀ || ƭɦε ρɦσεɳเא เɳ૮α૨ɳαƭε || гคץค Շђє гคץợยคչค || ❀ ࿅ wrote: "((this is for Americans like meh))

We should all just slow down and take our time
Because we are Americans, not Russians
Rush-ans"

OMG XD

Ravenpaw/claw~Anyone can be ordinary, but 5 more letters make you extraordinary wrote: "Okkk I have a ton of skeleton puns.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Cause he had no-body- to dance with!"

XD XD

Jacob wrote: "My doctor took one look at 
my gut and refused to believe that 
I work out. So I listed the exercises 
I do every day: jump to conclusions, climb the walls, drag my heels, 
push my luck, make mount..."

OMG XD

Jacob wrote: "thanks



A gladiator was having a rough day in the arena—his opponent had sliced off both of his arms. Nevertheless, he kept on fighting, kicking and biting as furiously as he could. But when his..."

XD I'm trying so hard not to laugh right now but that was too funny!

Jacob wrote: "There was a man who entered a pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did."

OMG XD I can't stop laughing! You're so funny!