Crush discussion

Hello. :)

I recently joined this group to give advice to anyone in need of relationship/dating advice. I've advised multiple teens about their love life through secret written letters as well as online, since I was 14 years old.

I've been told countless times (from those that I've helped) that I should consider being a psychologist. At the time when I was 14, I would receive e-mails from older teenagers that were completely surprised once they found out how old I was because of the great advice I would give them.

Feel free to ask me about boy/girl trouble, but if you feel that your situation seems too personal to post here, then you can also send me a personal message instead and I will reply to you as soon as possible. :)

OK, here goes (and prepare yourself for a rather large amount of dull backstory):

Two years ago, I became friends with this guy (let's call him Horatio, because that's an exotic-sounding name) at my old school. He and two of my older friends (both girls) used to do everything together- we'd hang out at lunchtimes, pair up together in class, hang out at each other's houses. And I was really, really glad to be Horacio's friend, because he was just so funny and kind and brave and selfless and sweetly nerdy and didn't seem to find me altogether horrible.
And then, I started developing a very awkward crush on him. Which would have been horrible, if I weren't sure that he felt something back. He'd compliment me and stuff, hang out with me all the time, even when my other friends weren't there.
And then it was Christmas and I went to a different school and for two years, I barely spoke to him at all.
Now I'm at high school and Horatio's in my French class and I see him all the time- but neither of my old friends are really friends with him anymore. And it makes me really sad, because it's like Horatio doesn't even remember me, and it just felt like there might've been something there once but now we don't talk to each other and I just don't know what to do.
I'd love to be maybe a little romantically involved with him one day, but for the time being, it would just be amazing to be his friend again. One of us needs to do something, because this makes me really sad- we used to be really good friends, and he's frankly one of the best people I know.

*End rant*

Thanks! x

Green Elephant Girl ™ wrote: "OK, here goes (and prepare yourself for a rather large amount of dull backstory):

Two years ago, I became friends with this guy (let's call him Horatio, because that's an exotic-sounding name) at ..."

Just try to talk to him, just go up to him and say hi or something like that. It might work!

Okay, well now I'm extrodanarily embarrased and pissed off because not only was that intended for the person above you to answer, 'Aria', YOU will actually know who that person is, and, quite frankly, I don't want anybody I actually know to know about this.

Thanks a bunch.

Green Elephant Girl ™ wrote: "Okay, well now I'm extrodanarily embarrased and pissed off because not only was that intended for the person above you to answer, 'Aria', YOU will actually know who that person is, and, quite frank..."

Well I actually don't know who it is and I thought it might be nice to help people out!

And it's not like I wanted to ever mention it again but I'm sorry if it seemed that way. Now. I was goingggg to post my problem here, that is why I was here in the first place but now I don't think it's really worth it.

And I was trying to HELP like friends do. I was just trying to be a supportive caring friend.

Green Elephant Girl ™ wrote: "OK, here goes (and prepare yourself for a rather large amount of dull backstory):

Two years ago, I became friends with this guy (let's call him Horatio, because that's an exotic-sounding name) at ..."

Hello, Green Elephant Girl. :) I'm sorry for how things turned out between the two of you. It reminds me of how sad it is when the friends you cared about the most, can easily become complete strangers in the next day.

Okay, so here's my long (beware) advice from what I felt from your situation. It seems to me that Horatio might feel unwanted by you. The time you attended a different school and didn't have any communication with him probably gave him the wrong message. And now that the two of you have the chance to interact again is possibly an awkward situation as well. He might be feeling like he doesn't know how to approach you because of that time gap without interaction.

With how I used to be in high school and if I were in your situation, I'd be too shy to make the first move to speak and have those awkward eye glances with him throughout the day. Now that I've gotten older, I can see where I went wrong.

Aria's advice is pretty much the same advice I'm giving you. In order for anything to change between the two of you is all up to you. Show him that you haven't changed and want to be on speaking terms again. When you see him again, catch his eye, smile, and say hi in a kind way. Maybe you can even add a flirtatious tone to express that you see him more than an old friend. Of course most guys would (or wouldn't) notice, but if he does catch it he might act awkward about it, but don't take it personally. Guys without much experience with girls can't ever take our hints, which is why we have to help them along the way by spelling it out.

Don't feel discouraged about his reactions to your greetings and be sure to wave bye before you two part ways after class. If he's too far, call out his name, and wave. Your words might be simple, but your actions can speak volumes to others eyes. Keep this up for a couple of days and you should see a difference with his body language. Study how he reacts from day 1 to the day you're ready to take it further and you should see a difference. It might not be a huge difference, but there should be one nonetheless.

Once you see it, try to catch him before class begins to ask him how he's been doing. Ask him questions about his hobbies (things that you know about him) like for instance, lets say he likes to play the keyboard. There's your chance to make that awkwardness between the two of you to completely break. Bringing up a fact of his life in any way is an opening to also bring up the past, the fun times the two of you had shared, which will bring the positive feelings from those memories. It will get rid of that awkwardness with laughter and smiles.

I hope my advice has helped. If you'd like to keep in touch with any updates of this, you can send me a PM instead. Keep your head high and good luck! :)

So I have this crush on this guy and I don't talk to him but he's super cute and reminds of book characters. Besides that I don't know what to do at all because I want him to like me and stuff but I can't really talk to him because we are in different social rankings. Any ideas on what to do? So I could actually to get him to notice me.

Aria-the-fault-in-our-stars_FANATIC-:) wrote: "And I was trying to HELP like friends do. I was just trying to be a supportive caring friend."

Hello, Aria. If you still care for my advice, you can send me a PM and I will return your message as soon as I can. :)

Once Upon A Time wrote: "So I have this crush on this guy and I don't talk to him but he's super cute and reminds of book characters. Besides that I don't know what to do at all because I want him to like me and stuff but ..."

Hi, Once Upon A Time! :) A crush that connects to the qualities of what your dream guy is? That's (rare) the best! The man I will be marrying this year, looks about 70% like Tobey Maguire. I can honestly say that he caught my eye because of that fact. >-> The time we met, I was pretty obsessed with Spider-Man (Tobey Maguire)and I fell hard when I realized he had the same personality traits I wanted/needed in a guy.

Back on topic! Exactly what are the differences between your social ranks? Do you two have any of the same classes or have the same timed lunch?

I know he's a jock and I'm a bookworm,nerd, and band geek. Yes we do have some classes together.

Do you feel that you lack the courage to speak to him because of these differences?

No I'm just a super shy person that tends to stay with people she knows

I see. That's okay, I was the same way in middle school. Do you know any of his hobbies or interests?

Football and volleyball and he's afaird of worms.

Lol, my fiance is afraid of worms as well.

Okay, before I give you my advice, I'd like you to know that if this guy doesn't return your feelings or isn't interested in interacting with you, then you need to turn the other cheek and forget about him. You'll have to remind yourself that he isn't the one for you if it comes to that.

Are you interested in any of those sports? If not, then you'll have to gain his attention with your own ways. It may sound difficult, but it will only be that way if you keep yourself in that state of mind. If you want his attention, you're first going to need to get past your comfort zone in order to do so.

The fact that you two have classes together is much easier than not having any. If you only were able to see him during lunch, it would be pretty awkward to approach him with his group of other jocks and ask him if you could speak to him. Yeah, no thanks.

So, my advice to you is basically the same advice I've given to "Green Elephant Girl". You have to be the first to speak. Since the two of have actually never spoken before, it will be different, yes, but it will give you the chance to actually see if there is any real chemistry between the two of you.

Whenever you see him (even if he is surrounded by his friends) wave and say hi. This will be an everyday routine. Try your best to send a sweet smile when you do this. This small action will make him notice you for sure. If he doesn't notice you to the point where he doesn't even know your name, should change.

If you keep this up, sooner or later he'll get curious to know your name. There! That's when you already have him. You may not have his undying attention, but you will at least have his curiosity and that's just enough to give you a heads up to dive in.

There are two ways he will take this: He will be confused, wondering who you are every time and ask one of his friends if they know you, or he will become so curious that he'll (one day) come up to you to say hi and personally ask what your name is. Of course scenario #2 would be so much better, but either way is just fine because they both lead up to the same emotion towards you ---> wonder. That emotion alone is the most important emotion you need to gain from a guy.

But what if he doesn't do either of those things? Well, that's up to you to decide. Stepping out of your comfort zone is the only option you have. But don't stop greeting him either. You want to show him the confidence you can have and the kind side to you with these greetings, even if he doesn't approach you. If you still need more of a sign, then study his expressions for each time you say hi and when you do see a difference (whenever it may be) take that chance to approach him.

Ask him how football or volleyball practice was. Give him a boost of confidence by mentioning how great of a player he is. Maybe even add that you wish you can have the same passion he has on the field when you're playing your instrument in band class. This is just a suggestion to show him the interests you have compared to him. You won't sound like an obsessive stalker, just use the right tone and expressions to show that you find him to be inspiring, which should help him to see that you're interested in more than his hobbies.

I hope this helps! :)

He does know who I am. And we do talk sometimes but not all the time like random conversations I join in on.

Once Upon A Time wrote: "He does know who I am. And we do talk sometimes but not all the time like random conversations I join in on."

When you said "So I have this crush on this guy and I don't talk to him" made me assume you weren't on speaking terms, I'm sorry. Then you don't need all of my advice, but most of what I suggested are things to keep in mind. By getting out of your comfort zone and talking to him about his interests. You can try being flirtatious, too, to show him that you're interested in him.

Aria-the-fault-in-our-stars_FANATIC-:) wrote: "And I was trying to HELP like friends do. I was just trying to be a supportive caring friend."

I actually came back to this link to apologise for being so snappy after you sent me that email about it, but I guess you're mad, too. I'm sorry I exploded at you like that, and it WAS really unfair of me, but I'm still more than a little embarrassed about all this. Thanks for your help, though, and you're actually probably right. I'll try it- and in future, I'll make an effort not to get mad at my friends when they try and help me out. Thanks :)

Malice Alina wrote: Hello, Green Elephant Girl. :) I'm sorry for how things turned out between the two of you. It reminds me of how sad it is when the friends you cared about the most, can easily become complete strangers in the next day.

Thanks so much! I'll try that- it sounds like a great plan. And you're so right- it really is sad when you lose friends like that, and I hate that it's happened like that. But that's some great advice, and I'll let you know if there are any developments. Thanks! :)

Green Elephant Girl ™ wrote: "Aria-the-fault-in-our-stars_FANATIC-:) wrote: "And I was trying to HELP like friends do. I was just trying to be a supportive caring friend."

I actually came back to this link to apologise for bei..."

That's okay and I will try to be clearer about how I am actually trying to help from now on. friends?

Malice Alina wrote: "Aria-the-fault-in-our-stars_FANATIC-:) wrote: "And I was trying to HELP like friends do. I was just trying to be a supportive caring friend."

Hello, Aria. If you still care for my advice, you can ..."

thanks i'll see how things go :)

Green Elephant Girl ™ wrote: "Aria-the-fault-in-our-stars_FANATIC-:) wrote: "And I was trying to HELP like friends do. I was just trying to be a supportive caring friend."

I actually came back to this link to apologise for bei..."

and I understand and im really sorry it made you embarrassed and it was never my intention.

Aww :) That's OK, and honestly, you haven't got anything to be sorry for. I was just being an argumentative cow that day. (I actually sent you a longer apology email, too!) And yup, I'm more than happy to be friends again. :D

Green Elephant Girl ™ wrote: "Thanks so much! I'll try that- it sounds like a great plan. And you're so right- it really is sad when you lose friends like that, and I hate that it's happened like that. But that's some great advice, and I'll let you know if there are any developments. Thanks! :)"

No problem! Good luck. :)

Aria-the-fault-in-our-stars_FANATIC-:) wrote: "thanks i'll see how things go :)"

Yup! :)

How can I get my boyfriend to become more closer to me?

How can I get my boyfriend to become more closer to me?

Do things together or hang out more. Find something you have in common.

Ok thanks

Ok thanks

Ok so plz help me
My bf doesnt even talk to me at school except for a little bit.every once in a while my friends will get him to hug me (which i love) he doesnt even text me.i always thought that the guy should make the first move like starting a conversation or something.so i and my friends basically think hes a wimp but i thinkthat he thinks im the wimp for not makin the first move or something. I really like him alot. I think i might send him a text using an app i have leaving it anynmous confessing my problem to him.idk what i should do. I mean if it really comes down to it i guess ill break up with him but again i really do like him .i mean he was the one who asked me out so i hope he likes me too.so this has been going on for like 3 months.so plz tell me what i should do or what i can do. Send the text,break up with him idk.im kindof stressing just a bit about this but if you read this whole thing thankyou for listening to my problem.

Taylor wrote: "Ok so plz help me
My bf doesnt even talk to me at school except for a little bit.every once in a while my friends will get him to hug me (which i love) he doesnt even text me.i always thought that..."

Taylor, I have to apologize on leaving you hanging. I didn't get the notification about your posts. Again, I am sorry.

If you still need advice, I'll be looking into this forum everyday for your reply.

Ok thx but we got it figured out thanks though

Ok thx but we got it figured out thanks though

That's great! Glad to hear it. Np. :)