YA Buddy Readers' Corner ♥ discussion

Amanda Hardy is the new girl in school in Lambertville, Tennessee. Like any other girl, all she wants is to make friends and fit in. But Amanda is keeping a secret. There’s a reason why she transferred schools for her senior year, and why she’s determined not to get too close to anyone.

And then she meets Grant Everett. Grant is unlike anyone she’s ever met—open, honest, kind—and Amanda can’t help but start to let him into her life. As they spend more time together, she finds herself yearning to share with Grant everything about herself…including her past. But she’s terrified that once she tells Grant the truth, he won't be able to see past it.

Because the secret that Amanda’s been keeping? It’s that she used to be Andrew.

Chapters 1-5
(view spoiler)[ First impressions of the book: I love the overall story line but there is something about the writing that I seems off to me, I cant put my finger on it. I do however love that we get flashbacks to Amanda's life when she was still Andrew. It gives us a much better insight to who she was and how she became the person she is now. Her dad bugs me! Of course I have never had a child transform like that but I cant help but feel that I would be more like her mom, that I would want them to be whoever they want to be rather than have a dead child. Her dad just seems more concerned with how she is going to make him look rather than focusing on how she might be feeling. Being a teenager is hard enough when your "normal" but going through what shes going through I'm sure is 100 times harder and as her father, he should be more sympathetic. Bee worries me for Amanda. I feel like Amanda is going to be inclined to trust her because she is different and open about who she is but that it is ultimately going to be a mistake. I could be very wrong but the vibe I'm getting from Bee is that she has the potential to be a selfish person. Her other friends I'm loving. Layla, Chloe, and Anna seem to be a little unrealistic as far as how teenage girls actually are, but I think they work for the book and will be good for Amanda. They want to be there for her and seem to be able to give her the proper teenage girl experience that Amanda deserves. I thought it was adorable and comical when Grant asked Amanda out for his friend. He was instantly likable. I found it a little ironic because it seemed like more of a teenage girl thing to do to ask people out for your friends and gender roles is obviously a huge theme of this book. I want Grant and Amanda to click and be good for each other, even if it wasnt in a romantic way, but I'm worried about what it could do for her in the long run. My hope for Amanda is that she can learn to trust the right people and find some balance in her life for a normal life but also to protect herself. (view spoiler)[ (hide spoiler)] (hide spoiler)]

Chapters 6-11
(view spoiler)[ Parker is a jerk, nothing much else to be said about him, he's not really worth the time. The story about when Amanda was little and she wrote the story about going to the future and she was a woman almost had me in tears. I felt so sorry for that little boy. I have 5 kids, the youngest just turned 6 today and I can't imagine ever saying the things his dad said to him. I even read this part to my husband to see if dads just thought a bit differently than moms, but he felt the exact same way I did, that you should never treat a child badly for being who they are. If my kid came to me with that exact story, I would probably ask questions and assess how serious they were but I would never make them feel bad for anything they felt, especially when they were so proud about the work they were bringing home. It breaks my heart.
I thought it was really cute that Grant felt he could trust Amanda enough to show her the tree house ( I also loved the Aladdin reference (my favorite Disney movie)). That whole scene was amazing and I couldn't help but feels those butterflies ou get when forming a new relationship. Grant was respectful but spontaneous and would be the quite the amazing boyfriend I think. I like that he didn't let her just ignore him, that he already cares about her enough to semi-stalk her. The whole church scene was weird. I understand the reason for it and I can't help but feel the same was Amanda does, but it just felt weird, can't really explain it better than that. I did like how it showed that even people who seem put together and like the "perfect" family have their major flaws. The thing with Grant seeming to have some sort of secret is intriguing and slightly ironic. I can't wait to see what it might be. Plus, the mudding was so adorable but it does have me worried. I love how close they seem to be getting, but it also has me a little scared for her, especially now that they both might have big secrets. If his is revealed, I wonder is she will reveal hers. (hide spoiler)]

Chapters 12-18
(view spoiler)[ Grant having a job, or rather multiple jobs, as his secret I knew had to be only part of it, there had to be more to the story! I was right. It makes sense that he works so much to support his family. It also shows how much he is growing to really care about her knowing how embarrassed he is by his situation. It also shows he trusts her which is almost kind of sad. If and when she ever tells him her secret, I think he is going to feel very betrayed. She did say she would try to get up the nerve to tell him but even if she does I don't think he would understand. The Halloween party was super cute. but at the end of the chapter when she said she was falling in love with him has me really worried but ecstatic. (hide spoiler)]

Chapters 19-25
(view spoiler)[ Maybe I was initially wrong when I thought Bee would ultimately be bad for Amanda. She seemed to do pretty well with Amanda and Virginia so maybe she will end up being the one friend Amanda can turn to if and when her past comes out. I am so proud of Amanda for trying to tell Grant everything and I'm proud of Grant for burning the letter. It shows real maturity and love between them both for them to act in this way. I wonder what exactly this means if and when her secret comes out, if this maturity and love will hold. His homecoming proposal was so cute and perfect for their relationship!! And Parker's apology I believe was sincere but he is still a jerk! I love her friendship with the girls! The dress buying was so normal, even the fight with Chloe was normal and it made me so happy for Amanda. I love that she can let the past go and finally let herself be happy!!! I really think they would be okay with her secret even. Look at what they did for her birthday. It was super cute and amazing! And then the night with Grant was so special. I loved it, all of it! It makes me so happy for Amanda. At the same time, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maybe that's pessimistic of me, maybe nothing will go wrong, but I'm preparing myself either way. (hide spoiler)]

Chapters 26-33
(view spoiler)[ Ok, Can I say I told you so? I knew from the very beginning the Bee was going to be her downfall. On one hand, I'm glad everything got put out in the open, plus she finally got to work out her major issues with her dad. On the other, my heart hurts for Amanda. This has to be one of the most humiliating ways her secret could have been revealed. It is so unfair that the one time she puts her full trust into someone they betray her and in one of the worst possible ways. I also had a feeling that the girls would always be true friends to her! They dont care about her past, only about the kind of friend she has been to them. As far as grant goes, I wish it had't ended that way. I'm forever going to wonder what exactly happened between them. I think it was real love, even if it was just teenage love, it was real regardless. I think given some time, he will come around. Maybe it wont last in a romantic way but I think at the very least they will have a lasting friendship, at least that is what I hope for her. (hide spoiler)]

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Date Changed - Restarting 3rd April 2019

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Date changed. Restarting April 3rd 2019. Happy Reading ☺

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Following. Starting this one tonight.

Ch 1-6
I've been kind of wanting to read this one for a while just because it made such a big splash when it hit. It's a very easy read so far, good pacing and the jumps back and forth in the timeline aren't troubling. It's a hard book to read in some ways though -- it must be so very hard to feel that miserable in your skin. I don't know how I would handle it as a teen and I don't know how I would handle it as a parent. I thought Mom's response to Amanda in the hospital was heart-wrenching when she said "Anything is better than a dead son."

Ryn wrote: "Ch 1-6
I've been kind of wanting to read this one for a while just because it made such a big splash when it hit. It's a very easy read so far, good pacing and the jumps back and forth in the timel..."

This is one I've had for ages and been putting off because of the subject. Without over-sharing, this is a tough situation to be in as a parent. Nothing prepares you for it. Nobody can really guide you through it. I'm interested to see how this goes, but I don't think I'll find it an easy read.

Up to ch13. It’s taken a little time to adjust to moving backwards in time. Nice way to show the character and tell us about them. It bothers me that Amanda is still not telling anyone about her past-what has actually changed if she’s still scared to be who she is?

Up to ch17. Part of me wants the happy ending, but I’m still fearing what will happen once Amanda tells them the truth.

Up to ch17. Also struggling to get on board with the dad’s view. I can see it comes from a place of worry, but it seems harsh.

Up to ch20. The details of the past events help us realise why Amanda is as closed off as she is. Tough situations, and it’s really feeling like we’re building to something unpleasant.

Up to ch28. I admit to finding it tough to keep reading right now. It’s this kind of incident that I fear as a parent, and that fear will never go away. Sadly, there’s not much you can do.

Finished. Review on home page. Glad I finally stepped up and read this. Over-simplified at times, but this was a story about learning to accept yourself and finding your place. These messages apply no matter how you identify.

To not sure but right around the middle >.<

Someone pointed out to me some of the ridiculousness in the insta-love found in a lot of teen novels. Maybe it's accurate, I don't know -- I don't recall insta-love as a teen but I was kinda weird sooo... But now that it's been pointed out to me, I can't not notice it, and I kinda got that in this book. Had a hard time buying that with as cautious and traumatized as Amanda's been, it goes straight to alone in the woods removing clothing. Other than that it's a very interesting read and a little difficult. I know a lot of people have been hard on Dad for his reactions, but I do get that he's just trying to keep Amanda safe and he's worried and scared. For some people that translates into being kind of a jerk -- it's not right, but it's real.

Poor Bee is a mess, I must say. I think it's hard enough to figure yourself as a cisgender in a less polarized setting, but small town in the south trying to figure yourself out is so much worse. I was really anticipating Grant's response to the letter; while I liked his actual response (view spoiler)[ not reading it (hide spoiler)] it didn't feel completely realistic. A lot of things seem a bit oversimplified and direct, but I'm hearing rumors that was the author's purpose. I can see why but I'm not sure it actually does the story here any favor, or really the characters. Amanda's almost hollow... like not quite really real. I'm not sure if that's intentional as a representation of a transgender youth's struggle or if that's just a lack of characterization. I have to say, it's hard not to hope for a happy ending even though I know that's all too often not realistic either.

Fin

So the end chapters were horrifying, if not entirely unexpected. We've known about the incident that sent Amanda there all along. Felt a little two-dimensional but still just horrible. It doesn't matter what you think or don't think, agree with or don't, absolutely nothing warrants that kind of treatment of another human being. Period. Ever. I read The 57 Bus last year and spent a lot of time thinking about this and related issues then also. This reminds me a bit of Star Crossed which was a really sweet, cute little read, but the blanket open acceptance by the snotty popular girls felt a little out of character. This kind of does too, but it's still good to see people choose to love and care about others without being hateful. We could all use a little more of that. I really liked the way the parents' story wound up, especially Dad's; it explained a lot about him. I appreciated the author's afterward -- although part of me wishes there had been a little less oversimplification as I said before. Harder to read and access perhaps, but promoting a greater truth and acceptance for the people who do.

I've put this on hold and should get it within a few days. Look forward to reading and responding.

Starting this today.

Up to chapter 6. What a beautiful book so far.

Ryn wrote: "Fin

So the end chapters were horrifying, if not entirely unexpected. We've known about the incident that sent Amanda there all along. Felt a little two-dimensional but still just horrible. It does..."

I will have to check that book out! But I agree, terrible incident but I really wanted to know more about what happened in the bathroom the first time. Of course there were enough details for me to guess, but more y’all about it would have been nice.

Finished. Gosh, I didn’t even update as I read like I normally do. Short book but I read right through it. I didn’t truly start it until today, only having read a few pages the other day. I couldn’t put it down.

And to be honest, I thought she was going (view spoiler)[to be killed, so I’m glad she wasn’t. (hide spoiler)]

26% (view spoiler)[ I’m really liking how this jumps between the past and the present, it really helps us understand Amanda’s story and what lead her to have to move away and live with her dad. I love how she is experiencing “normal” teenage things finally, but it’s sad how she cant be honest about who she is and therefore be accepted. (hide spoiler)]

Krystal wrote: "Up to chapter 6. What a beautiful book so far."

Yes it is great!

Shae wrote: "Krystal wrote: "Up to chapter 6. What a beautiful book so far."

Yes it is great!"

I definitely want to read more books with this subject.

Krystal wrote: "Shae wrote: "Krystal wrote: "Up to chapter 6. What a beautiful book so far."

Yes it is great!"

I definitely want to read more books with this subject."

Yes me too! I recently read meet cute, which was a bunch of short stories and that is how I found this author. The short story had a similar subject matter. I’m definitely keen for more books with this subject if you find them :)

34% (view spoiler)[ I wonder if she is going to tell Grant that she is transgender. Has she actually changed physically? (hide spoiler)]

64% (view spoiler)[ ahh that chapter with Marcus broke my heart!

I’m so glad Amanda has told someone, I liked how she said all the things to not ask, as I wouldn’t know to not ask some of those things (naive of me). That’s why I love these own voices books as it opens your eyes! (hide spoiler)]

82% OMG 😢 (view spoiler)[ Bee!! What a bitch! It was not her news to blurt out! My heart is breaking (hide spoiler)]

88%(view spoiler)[ oh my god, Parker!!!! Man that makes me so angry that he thinks he can do that! And now her dad is kicking her out 😢😢 (hide spoiler)]

96% (view spoiler)[ I’m so glad she has gone back to live with her dad and she is with her friends again! (hide spoiler)]

😢 the authors note!! Need more books like this ASAP!

Shae wrote: "😢 the authors note!! Need more books like this ASAP!"

YES!!