Romance Writers & Readers discussion

Sooo...do romance readers care about the use of condoms or is it understood that our story leads can be a little unrealistic in order to preserve the narrative flow? I'm on chapter 9 of a 10 chapter book and, yeah, I don't want to change anything because reasons. Thoughts?

When I read a romance and they don't even mention condoms or birth control and stuff I automatically get my hopes up for a baby at some point in the story but that's just me!

All my characters use protection. But by the third time they have sex (I write erotic), I usually make them have the "Are you clean, on the pill, let's get tested" talk and then the good time continue to roll condom-free. :p

I think it depends on your audience.

I've had someone mention in a review about the use of condoms so some people do care about it. I always try to make note of a condom used or if they are on the pill. If neither is mentioned then, yeah, a baby is probably on the way. Hahaha

I'll second "it depends". Some readers don't care, others hope for babies at some point, and still others boo and hiss when characters go bareback (at least in settings where condoms are available).

In one of my stories the characters use protection and don't stop, because the h mentions not being able to take hormonal birth control due to the mood swings it gives her. In another the two lovers use it at first but then they stop (her idea), because the h is "fixed" and she comes to trust that her guy won't go screwing around on her. Nobody's really complained about either one.

What I'd make sure to avoid are silly/unrealistic excuses by the characters to skip protection (a big one I've seen far too often; yes a woman CAN get pregnant during her period, in fact at some points in her cycle she's MORE fertile) or not worry about disease - I've found those to be the most off-putting to the "no glove, no love" crowd. So is the characters going on and on about how condom-free sex is "soooo natural".

I've found that the 'no glove no love' crowd are readers who prefer more realism in general, so if you keep that as a guiding principle, whatever setup you use will likely not bother them.

Hope that helps!

Hmm. My fictional dude's junk is kinda outta commission so it's not been a point of contention/concern(?) for my readers, personally. But I have seen other authors get a "slap on the wrist" for these details.

I think it's more about consistency than anything else. Both with characters and throughout the story, if that makes no sense at all haha! Like, if a condom is thrown in just to check the protection box then kinda forgotten, it's probably gonna draw some unwanted attention. But if dude's just careless and dudette's silently on the perma-pill then...

*shrugs*

Good discussion! Dig it!!

Group hugs,
Ann

Ember wrote: "When I read a romance and they don't even mention condoms or birth control and stuff I automatically get my hopes up for a baby at some point in the story but that's just me!"

Hmmm...sequel? :O

Alexis wrote: "All my characters use protection. But by the third time they have sex (I write erotic), I usually make them have the "Are you clean, on the pill, let's get tested" talk and then the good time conti..."

This makes sense...

Amanda wrote: "I've had someone mention in a review about the use of condoms so some people do care about it. I always try to make note of a condom used or if they are on the pill. If neither is mentioned then, y..."

She has a bc implant so I guess she could mention it?

Angel wrote: "I think it depends on your audience."

It's my debut novella so can't say 100% that I know the expectations but my genre is contemporary IR.

Annie wrote: "Hmm. My fictional dude's junk is kinda outta commission so it's not been a point of contention/concern(?) for my readers, personally. But I have seen other authors get a "slap on the wrist" for the..."

I see your point...she's protected against unwanted pregnancies but then there's STD''s to cover...ugh. I just need them to shag, already.

Eric wrote: "I'll second "it depends". Some readers don't care, others hope for babies at some point, and still others boo and hiss when characters go bareback (at least in settings where condoms are available)..."

I would have to say that my readers will prob be realistic...so back to the drawing board. I'm gonna have to cut out a lot of panting...word count lol.

If she has a bc implant, sure a quick mention is fine, in my opinion.

Erin Lee Daniels wrote: "she's protected against unwanted pregnancies but then there's STD''s to cover"

Hmm, I've not covered STDs in writing. But IRL? Every single dude gets an STD panel done before he gets any nookie from this girl. No exceptions. I offer the same thing but honestly, most dudes don't really care hahaha...

That's actually not funny.

Annie wrote: "Erin Lee Daniels wrote: "she's protected against unwanted pregnancies but then there's STD''s to cover"

Hmm, I've not covered STDs in writing. But IRL? Every single dude gets an STD panel done bef..."

I've never actually covered STD's in my writing either. I guess I go with it's implied they are clean. At first I didn't cover the protection bit until I realized I should. Went back to edit it that stuff in....just not the STD part.

Hmm. I kinda think it depends a lot on subgenre too. Now I'm totally generalizing here but...

I reckon sweet romance readers may care a bit more about this particular stuff. As a dark romance junkie, I honestly can't remember it ever being mentioned. In fact, if some sadistic alpha H pinned his h up against wall of a prison cell and was like, "Oh, hang on one sec, you little sl*t. Just gotta put a wrapper on mini-me first," I'd be like...

WTHeck? Hahaha!

Amanda wrote: "Annie wrote: "Erin Lee Daniels wrote: "she's protected against unwanted pregnancies but then there's STD''s to cover"

Hmm, I've not covered STDs in writing. But IRL? Every single dude gets an STD ..."

I think that's the happy medium I'd take as well.

Annie wrote: "Erin Lee Daniels wrote: "she's protected against unwanted pregnancies but then there's STD''s to cover"

Hmm, I've not covered STDs in writing. But IRL? Every single dude gets an STD panel done bef..."

*fistbump* mad cool

+1 on audience expectations - I wrote a short story where they didn't use a condom, and two out of three beta readers commented on it, so I put it in. Didn't change much - actually, it added an element of humour because he had to dig it out of his pants pocket, and his pants were already down at his feet... :D

Erin Lee Daniels wrote: "Sooo...do romance readers care about the use of condoms or is it understood that our story leads can be a little unrealistic in order to preserve the narrative flow? I'm on chapter 9 of a 10 chapte..."

I think it totally depends on the writers preference. Does it matter to the story?

Bree wrote: "+1 on audience expectations - I wrote a short story where they didn't use a condom, and two out of three beta readers commented on it, so I put it in. Didn't change much - actually, it added an ele..."

Now that's cute/funny!

Stephanie wrote: "Erin Lee Daniels wrote: "Sooo...do romance readers care about the use of condoms or is it understood that our story leads can be a little unrealistic in order to preserve the narrative flow? I'm on..."

No, it's not important to the plot. It's sex on the first date scenario sand I really don't feel like all of the yada yada butttt....don't want to annoy people either. Can you tell I read a lot of historical where this never comes up lol.

I wrote a blog post about this a couple of years ago for a contemporary romance site - and got the opinion of romance readers from Goodreads. The majority of contemporary readers preferred the mention of protection unless there was a compelling reason not to do it.

http://contemporaryromance.org/2014/0...

Eric wrote: "I'll second "it depends". Some readers don't care, others hope for babies at some point, and still others boo and hiss when characters go bareback (at least in settings where condoms are available)..."

Can I just give you some mad props Eric?!? I work in women's health and not that many WOMEN know as much about their own fertility and cycles as you just demonstrated in a few sentences! Can we clone you? *wink wink*

Jessica wrote: "Eric wrote: "I'll second "it depends". Some readers don't care, others hope for babies at some point, and still others boo and hiss when characters go bareback (at least in settings where condoms a..."

Awww, I'm touched! No really...I'm glad I know more than I thought I did! :D

As an author I'm a firm believer in doing ALL the research, and since I write a lot of stories involving women I've had to swallow my pride and ask the women I know a lot of 'stupid questions'. They're usually kind which start with "please forgive my ignorance in this matter, but..."

I've learned a lot of interesting stuff that way, though. In my opinion more guys ought to get curious. ;)

In a contemporary story where the characters just met... I'd notice the absence of a condom more than I'd be distracted by one being used. Just my opinion though... Only you know what works best for your story!

And I totally agree that unprotected sex in a romance novel = pregnancy. It's like that axe in the first act...

Rosy wrote: "In a contemporary story where the characters just met... I'd notice the absence of a condom more than I'd be distracted by one being used. Just my opinion though... Only you know what works best fo..."

I agree and I feel good about this now. Thanks :)

Abigail wrote: "I wrote a blog post about this a couple of years ago for a contemporary romance site - and got the opinion of romance readers from Goodreads. The majority of contemporary readers preferred the ment..."

Oohh! Yes!! TY for this :)

My characters always use condoms. Mostly because in this day and age, I find it really distracting if they don't (as a reader). We know better these days than to take chances. And safe sex is sexy!

But I know there are writers that disagree and feel it takes the romance out. Maybe they're just of a different generation? Who knows.

Aislinn wrote: "My characters always use condoms. Mostly because in this day and age, I find it really distracting if they don't (as a reader). We know better these days than to take chances. And safe sex is sexy!..."

I definitely see your point. Now, I would feel weird if I didn't include it lol. It never even occurred to me when I was writing because I've been with my husband so long I forget about the real world lol.

UpDaTe!!

Sooo...I've inserted (ha ha) the appropriate protection into the sexy time scene and I think it'll work. As this is my first novella I think it will only become easier with time.

Having said that *gulp* is anyone up for a quickie beta (I kill me!)? It is literally, like, half a chapter but I would feel oodles better if someone gave it a once over. I'd ask my hubs but, yeah, as in no. I'd never get the darn thing finished hehe. 8shrug*

Bet you didn't know it was TMI Tuesday, did ya?

If interested inbox me here or at
Hurgs and lurve :O

Hahaha fair enough! Well, glad I could help. :p

My first book in the series, the couple is married and the sex is behind closed doors. In the second book there is really no sex but flashback memories of sex, again married couple and door closed. However, I am working on the third book in the series while also finishing up the second book. And in the third, the H and h are not married, so I am glad I came across this post, I will still keep the hottest part of the sex behind closed door, but I think I will make mention of protection during the make out portion of it all.

In my contemporary, they talk about safe sex.

In my fantasy, they don't.

I'm with some of the other commenters here. If a condom isn't mentioned in het sex, I assume there is a baby on the way... unless she mentions she's on the pill or something. But all in all, with all the diseases out there, if they don't even discuss it, I'm actually a little thrown from the story. It's a real part of life. And I worry for the characters, assuming the author will reality whack them and they'll end up with herpes or something.

And you already posted your final actions... so, my comment was useless. But I'm glad you got your answer!