Young Writers Group discussion

Hi, I'm Iris and I'm new here! I've been looking for some honest feedback on my writing. Please comment! For starters, I'll share a poem with you.

An Ode to Innocence

Oh, those days when we played in the street
Spirits were freed from worries, from fears
At the worst of times does wide world greet
And us with no hanky to mop up our tears!

Oh, those times we fought but fought not
With finger guns blazing and plastic swords
Knowing little the horror these have brought
Outside golden bubble of safety assured

And what of the heart, burden once light
That once whole was pure and free of scar
Beat little hearts with what love, what might
Till our vision cold hard truth did mar

Oh what times! And what times to come
For it is our heart that is rooted in young
As our faces grow weary with sun after sun
What times shall find us, try us again?

Oh, these days that are lacking in luster
As trials and errors pile and pile high
Piecing together all faith we can muster
Walk low on earth, left our wings in the sky

Oh, these times when laughter hides away
Instead when we look we find only stress
With packs on backs with no time for play
Oh it makes for dull boys and girls, I confess

And what of the heart, its burden so light
And the light it once held to dry our tears
Oh, still it exists, but possibly spite
Has filled up our joy with irrational fears

Oh what times! And what times to come
For it is our heart that is rooted in young
As our faces grow weary with sun after sun
What times shall find us, try us again?

Oh those days! An ode to those days!
And celebration of a life never end
Lived this to the fullest and now part ways
Till acceptable time to partake of it again

I love poetry and yours I loved. I really like your word choices but I when I was reading it, it didn't completely feel natural. You know like music having a rhythm. I thought it was a little repetitive and that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's hard to put into words the advice I want to give you so I will just stick to a compliment. It was a wonderful poem.

Thank you! I'll bear that in mind, make it feel more natural. This was a school assignment, maybe that's why