The Chase discussion

Readers Review For Golden Shana: The Chase

wow, an epic write of worth an note this is superbly written, the words
'SOME MEN WERE BORN TO rule the world; others were born to ruin it.' could be a phrase that is quote throughout history. I am so impressed with your skill at writing you write with immense vivacity and you create work of amazing depth and interest. well done. Meia (MESAYERS)

I enjoyed reading this and you write erotica very well. The writing itself is engaging and flows nicely with strong characters. However, it would be great if you could edit it to make it easier to read- line spaces in between characters.
fimarie78


Wow, you really have a great way of pulling the reader into the story quickly and efficiently. You know how to grab the reader's imagination and leave the reader wanting more. Comment Written 07-Feb-2017 by DonandVicki


I thought this is well written. You may want to edit it and remove the funny characters from the text. Outside of that this was excellent. The dialogue was strong. The chemistry of the characters is starting to come through. But terrific. by Michael Ludwinder II


The mixed genre of thriller/romance/erotica pulls readers in certainly for me! I find I am rooting for Marie. I cannot explain why, I just am, I would need to read the whole book for an absolute decision but your are very skillful and clever at what you do and should not doubt yourself your work is really fantastic enjoyed so much love.


Excellent. I like this book better than the one by you that I read previously today. this story is invigorating and interesting. You take the reader inside the characters head and make us feel what he feels. This is an art and I admire you for it. Good work. by prettybluebirds


A mark of any good mystery is it poses questions for the reader to find the answers to as the narrative unfolds. This excerpt from your book did just that. It was intriguing enough to make me want more. by judsmith


Roman sounds like a rather determined man. His longing to find his Turandot, seems to be clouding his mind, along with his lustful desire to have sex with Alyssa. Quite an interesting chap. Thesis


Since this is the first of your story that I have read some things are unclear. However, I didn't notice grammar or punctuation problems and I found it an interesting piece. It is a work I would continue to read as my interest has been aroused. by ChristmasCarol


An interesting story about a man on the prowl. The tension builds and there is a tremendous hook at the end to find out what happens. This is a good tale. by Winslow


Your story has a strong plot and darned good imagery like this for instance: "his face twisted in primal unfettered rage. Sweat poured down his face and body. He balled his fist tight and hit it on the mattress several times. In savage rapid movements. Bolts of pain stabbed his skull. His heart palpitated and images from his nightmares flashed before his eyes." (I can see this image)

Also: "He was barely alive then, with a bullet lodged near his heart and his skull cracked. Both his legs were broken as was his pelvis and one arm. The breakages occurred when he hit the boiling Pacific water as his body fell from the promontory after he was shot.


Admittedly I hurt many of the women emotionally when they wanted more from me than I was prepared to give. I regretted their being hurt, but I wanted no marriage, children, and happily ever after. I made that clear from the start. I didn't want to be restricted, constrained, and bound to a permanent relationship. I'd been accused of being incapable of such a bond, but to me the accusation sounded more like praise. A standing ovation. I wanted a sex life with no norms and confines. It confirmed my staunch belief in my independence which I valued highly. That was the structure of my being and I saw no reason to ponder the whats, wheres, whens, whys, and hows.
I was who I was, full stop. Nothing was about to change that.
But a hunter hunts.
So here I was, fanatically chasing after Svadishana because apart from the infernos, it was a challenge I'd never had with any other woman. ' This is where your writing stands out for me, because not only do you write with a perfect flow your characters are 100 realistic, even if the life they live is not realistic t the average person, the backstory seems real, it all seems real and very clever. I have known men like this. Well done as always you are a hell of a writer. by MESAYERS

I tried to come up with some constructive criticism but I think you have done a superb job on this story. You pulled me in with your opening line. by DonandVicki


I found his reaction classic, fear fused with anger but contained by confusion and care, for Marie and the potential baby. I'm thinking 9 months is a very long time with so many possibilities, so many crossroads. You my friend are more than capable of plotting a roller-coaster ride to the finish post. by Hitcher


I tried to come up with some constructive criticism but I think you have done a superb job on this story. You pulled me in with your opening line. Comment Written 25-Mar-2017 by DonandVicki

Excellent. It is well written, like most of your stories, and I enjoyed reading it. by prettybluebirds


A good story has conflict and suspense. With Roman searching for Shana you certainly have suspense. With Marie you have conflict
There is definitely a battle of wills brewing
Good stuff here. Looks like you threw in a couple of curve balls here.
I got of got the suspicion that the other lover was a woman.
That should make things interesting.
Roman most assuredly has his hands full.
Great writing! by mbroyles2


A very good continuation. Sounds like an on again off again romance. They can't get enough of each other until they do. Excellent writing style. by Thomas Bowling

Exceptional. I just love the intelligent dialogue between the ladies in this. It's so smart and fun. This is how people that have brains speak, wit and cleverness and candor as well. Very sensual and realistic and an easy read too. I have very little time here at the moment. But I've tried to sneak some reading in and wanted to at least get an occasional review.
Really exceptional in every way. Loved it. by michaelcahill

I could give at least six stars for this. You definitely know your way around all things erotic friend, strap on dildos, deep penetration, girl on girl. Your sex scene reminded me of the one of the scenes from the classic and very erotic Red Shoe Diaries. I used to watch them with my now wife back in the day. I can't promise I'll review all your chapters but I can promise that I will pop in and read you and yours when ever I can.
For the sexual content alone I'm gonna six you up ; )
I'd say Marie's chances of winning Roman back have to be slim. They had an agreement to f*ck each other however and whenever they choose to without laying claim to each other.He I'm guessing is a player and loves his decadent lifestyle, I can see why he would be pissed. That said, he could possibly have the chance of becoming a father... hard to say what he'll do till he knows for sure. by Hitcher

Good , smooth writing style. I like how you present the characters, build their identity, and then create an interaction between them that has a sense of urgency. An electric passion in the air.
You handle the passion and sexual energy in a tasteful and appropriate manner/
Keep writing!
Oh, I also meant to tell you on my other review that the image is spectacular.
This image is also appropriate and tasteful. by Badger_29

Exceptional

I thought that you did a great job with this. Exceptional how you stirred up emotion and conflict, making the reader choose a side.
Here are some corrections that I would make:
She dropped the phone on her coffee table, trying to smother his voice, still pounding in her brains. She leant back in her sofa with a heavy sigh, willing his voice away. Closed her eyes. No use. His voice continued in her mind, loud, deep and resonant, threatening to blow her head into tiny little fragments.
I love how you have used the British form, seldom used:
leant: verb, Chiefly British.
1. a past participle and simple past tense of lean1.
This gives a nice sense that I am reading something eccentric, or unusual.
"Wagnerian bass score"; elegant. Your reference to to Giacomo Puccini"s Turandot
is superb. You have included some fine history about wine, making this an enjoyable read. Something from the
"Upper Crust" of society
If I had any other suggestions, it would be to describe more sensory data, what color was the dress? How did the wine taste? What was the memory of the aroma of the expensive cologne that he wore?
Great writing, I am looking forward to more. Bill


I found this to be very complex in story-line. The characterizations are very strong and the writing skills are clearly very good on the quality of the writing style....which I found to be really excellent. by His Grayness