Just for Fun discussion

What are some funny clean insults you've heard before? Or some originals?

1) I'm jealous of people that don't know you.
2) You are a perfect example of why there are safety warnings on everything.
3) If I could buy you for what I think you're worth and sell you for what you think you're worth, I'd be rich.

(Divergent joke. Sorry to all of you who haven't read the book; this won't make much sense.)

Your mother is so fat, her fear landscape is a salad.

u so fat u don't need the internet u already world wide.